Ds (13) won't let me meet his girlfriend!!

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Overbearing mother alert!!!
Ds (yr 9) has recently made friends with a girl in his year at school. He's started going out to meet her after school and on the weekend. They message each other a lot when he's at home.
He's been perfectly open about the friendship (after a little interrogation from me and is sharing a lot more info with me than I ever did with my own mother!!!).
I've suggested they hang out at our house instead of wandering the village when the weather is shitty but he is mortified by this idea. I've promised I won't embarrass him and will leave them to watch tv downstairs while I hide in my room but this is still a stupid idea (in his opinion!!).
Any thoughts? Should I back off and just let him do as he wants? I admit I am a little terrified of this teenage phase...my own was hideous and I don't want Ds' and my relationship to turn out like mine and my mother's.

[Sparklingbrook]

Yes, just let him get in with it. He knows the offer is there and you are fine with it all.

[Sparklingbrook]

*on

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Yes, leave him to it. At 13, I'd have hated the idea of bringing someone home.

Let him know that he's welcome to bring her home if he wants too, and that you're there if he wants to chat (ideally casually, so he doesn't feel too awkward) and then leave him to it.

Kids wonder the village. We used to hang out in a big park. We'd be there come rain or shine. It's a rite of passage, let him carry on :)

[Sparklingbrook]

Oh and if he does start bringing her back don't go getting fond of her. I am still a teensy but upset from that happening two years ago with DS1. She was such a lovely girl.

[Sparklingbrook]

*bit. My typing today is atrocious.

[ProfGrammaticus]

I wouldn't expect the girl to come home at thirteen, tbh. Maybe his girlfriend when he is older, but not at thirteen. Much too embarrassing.

[IHaveBrilloHair]

Yep, leave him to it.
dd is a year older and does bring her bfs home, and she goes to theirs but I stay out of their way, they generally come and say hi though, most seem to think I'm pretty cool.

[Buttons23]

I would leave him to it, at only 13 I don't think you need to meet his girlfriend. It's not like they have serious relationships at that age. He knows the offer is there

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Thanks for the replies.
He wants to go out now to meet her but it's absolutely pouring with rain so I've said no but she can come here and I'll disappear upstairs. He's declined my offer.
As a teen I would have been horrified if my mother had suggested the same thing but I had thought Ds and my relationship was better different.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

I want to be cool mum

[IHaveBrilloHair]

If he wants to get wet surely that's his look out?

[SirChenjin]

He's 13 - leave him alone! It's not a serious relationship and there is no need for her to meet his mum.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Unfortunately, I don't think I will be

[Sparklingbrook]

Don't take it personally.

Does he ever go to her house? Is she far away?

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

It's not so much that I want to meet her (although, I am nosey so I do a little bit) but more that I don't want him wandering the village in the pouring rain.

[RudeElf]

Based on your posts here i'm not at all surprised he wont bring her home! You sound like a torture.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

No, he doesn't go to her house but I believe the girl's mum has had similar conversations with her about them hanging out at her house.
She lives a 5 minute walk away.

[Sparklingbrook]

I think that's fair enough, if it's anything like here today it's vile out there.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Rude - In what way?

[WeAllHaveWings]

Yes, leave him to it, and if he does bring her home don't give up your living room or you'll soon find you are spending a lot of time in your room!! Let them go upstairs instead (unless he's still got Postman Pat wallpaper, then think about giving him a room makeover!)

[Sparklingbrook]

It's really frustrating isn't it? you feel like they would rather be apart than sat in your living room in the dry.

I do not think you sound like a torture.

[LizzieMacQueen]

Do you need to check out that she's not really a 16 year old?

[sooperdooper]

Aw leave it alone, the more you mention it the less likely he'll take up the offer! And if he does then don't keep poking your head round the door with too many offers of tea/cake/nosiness

[ProfGrammaticus]

Let him go, he won't dissolve.

[IoraRua]

Ah leave him be.
He's 13, it's his job in life to be embarrassed by his mum. Tbqh I am.impressed he's telling you about her, you two must be close.