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What do you say to your DD who asks why should I tidy my room?!

(48 Posts)
ArtyFartyQueen Tue 02-Feb-16 18:51:19

Just that really....stroppy DD with an attitude the size of the whole house, is trying to debate with me why she has to have a tidy room, she seems to genuinely think it's ok for her whole floor to be covered in rubbish, wet towels, clothes etc and I need to have some good answers to back me up as "because I say so" is clearly not cutting it. I expect her Dad has been telling her that it's not important (helpful!)

TheCatsMeow Tue 02-Feb-16 18:53:29

I'd have a different approach, I'd let her have her room as messy as she likes as long as it doesn't spill out into the rest of the house. That way it makes sense that "you don't have to keep your room tidy, but you have to keep OUR house tidy"

ouryve Tue 02-Feb-16 18:53:45

Because you can't keep it clean, if it's untidy, and her things will get smelly.

If her clothes get smelly because she's not looking after them, people at school will notice.

If things are not put away, they're more likely to get broken or lost.

balletgirlmum Tue 02-Feb-16 18:54:02

Because it is your house & you have the right for her not to devalue the house by attracting damp, mould & vermin.

Sunnybitch Tue 02-Feb-16 18:55:51

Because if her friends seen the state on it she would be the talk of them and not in a good way

gBean Tue 02-Feb-16 18:56:13

I tell her it's unhealthy and will get mouldy/she could get ill. Also that it's MY house and until she pays the bills she has to live by my rules.

When she ignores all that, I confiscate her phone and tablet until it's done.

Justmuddlingalong Tue 02-Feb-16 18:56:40

I'd say 'If you don't do it, I will. And I'll be ruthless'. grin

PurpleThermalsNowItsWinter Tue 02-Feb-16 19:01:26

In this house she would find it cleared out for her whilst at school. Into black bin bags which would be in the dustbin or the tip.
(I would hide any valuable items and nice clothes but any throwaway fashion clothes would go).
Less stuff=less mess

RoseDeWittBukater Tue 02-Feb-16 19:02:48

"Because I said so and I'm the adult." Suffices here.

scribblegirl Tue 02-Feb-16 19:05:11

"How embarrassed would you be if I invited your friends over and the whole house was covered in my knickers, dirty plates, used tissue, mice running about, a weird smell, me not giving a damn about it?"

"The reason I know how to tidy a house is because I was made to tidy a room when I was your age. Start learning wink '

DoreenLethal Tue 02-Feb-16 19:08:21

Because coming home to all your possessions were in the bin, after bins have been emptied is not fun?

Sparklingbrook Tue 02-Feb-16 19:09:15

Because there won't be any pocket money or lifts anywhere if it's not done.

weegiemum Tue 02-Feb-16 19:09:32

We give in on tidy but we insist on clean.

No plates, rubbish, dirty washing, wet towels etc is ok and we don't let friends/boyfriend in the house if its insanitary.

She's 16 this week and has been keeping it ok since about october.

Seems to be working and best, is also working for her brother (14) and sister (12)

dodobookends Tue 02-Feb-16 19:10:40

I stopped trying several years ago. Told dd I wasn't bothered if it was untidy. When her friends were due round, she started asking me to help her tidy it up as she couldn't manage it by herself - as it was in such a mess (and I suspect she was embarrassed about her friends seeking it like that).

I'd say "You make a start and I'll come upstairs in a while to help out". She was then really pleased and grateful that I'd helped her. grin

Sunnybitch Tue 02-Feb-16 19:11:38

Or you could hit her where it hurts and say no friends come over, you don't stay at any friends...even better you don't go out till it's done! And if she storms off do what purple says grin

Twowrongsdontmakearight Tue 02-Feb-16 19:12:16

muddling I do that with DD occasionally. Threaten to come in with a bin bag and Hoover. Whatever is still on the floor gets binned! (She can salvage a couple of bits from the bag before it goes though).

LadyIsabellaWrotham Tue 02-Feb-16 19:16:43

Mould, smell, stuff getting lost, stuff getting trod on, clean clothes mixed in with dirty clothes, mice. I'm not that fussed about messy but I do insist on clean.

NewLife4Me Tue 02-Feb-16 19:19:33

I don't get drawn into debates anymore, I did at one time.
Now, with only dd left, she just gets told.
I give a length of time and then go in with a bin bag, it goes in the wheely bin never to be replaced by me.
It's amazing how tidy they become.

HairySubject Tue 02-Feb-16 19:20:09

Because if there is a fire you will trip and hurt yourself in the way out. It's dangerous.

MargaretHale Tue 02-Feb-16 19:24:20

Because you'll get bugs- show her a picture of carpet beetles, moth larvae, they are seriously icky.

peggyundercrackers Tue 02-Feb-16 19:29:19

Agree with newlife4me, tell her if she doesn't tidy it up whatever is out goes in bin. Do it with one item and they learn to tidy pdq.

PennyHasNoSurname Tue 02-Feb-16 19:30:19

Seriously OP you need to pick your battles. Untidiness is one thing (and tbh id shut the door on it), but dirty plates atc and wet towels is minging.

Id do the following:-

Give her one bath sheet and one bath towel in a bright colour. These are hers. All others are not hers. She doesnt put them in the laundry basket regularly only she will suffer.

Give her a new plate bowl and a disti ctive colour - again she only gets food and drinks on these.

Do not launder a single item of her unless she put it into the basket.

QuietWhenReading Tue 02-Feb-16 19:34:08

It's unhygienic.

It's smelly.

It's childish.

It's stressful (she'll be happier if her space is tidy.)

It's disrespectful to the person who owns the house and paid good money for the things she is carelessly ruining.

When she moves out to a student flat/a house share/in with a boyfriend she will cause massive resentment among her flat mates if she leaves a trail of mess behind her. She'll be the one no one wants to share with.

Soooosie Tue 02-Feb-16 19:35:34

Because it's my responsibility as a parent to ensure you are prepared for the real world and that involves basic house upkeep

Soooosie Tue 02-Feb-16 19:36:36

You are teaching her essential life skills! You are enabling her to care for herself and her environment properly.

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