DS (14) resigned from his job via text

[pasanda]

DS has had a Saturday job since September, only 2-3 hours a week, washing up. He has long been saying he wants to leave as Saturday is his only free day to socialise, go to town etc. I understand that, and even though I didn't want him to leave, could appreciate why he might want to.

But tonight I have received a phone call from the landlady of the pub in which he works. She is not impressed!

Last night, whilst at a school trip to the theatre, a text was sent to her along the lines of 'I'm really sorry but I deserve an effing pay rise'

Quite quickly followed by another one from my ds apologising for the previous text, but going on to say that he thinks his washing up career has reached its peak and he won't be coming in to work on Saturday (tomorrow). DS is adamant that he did not send the original text but refuses to tell me who did.

She had just landed from being on holiday and has had to find cover in 48 hours for Saturdays shift.

I am bloody furious with ds. How dare he think that this is an acceptable way to treat someone who has been kind and generous to him. He could at least of worked tomorrow and given her notice and stated his reasons in person.

She has said that there is no way she would ever give him a reference and I don't blame her!

How would others deal with this embarrassing behaviour? The only thing I have done so far is take away his PS4 tomorrow because if he wants to be so bloody sociable on a Saturday then he can sort something out that involves human beings, not screens!

Rant over

[sooperdooper]

I would be livid! Well I certainly wouldn't be subsidising him with the money he'll now not be paid & I think he should apologise to her properly

[Justmuddlingalong]

Is the landlady a friend of yours?

[pasanda]

No not at all Just. She has my details because he is one of the most disorganised people I know and sometimes I would have to text her to confirm shifts etc.

I am thinking of getting him to write a letter of apology and handing it to her in person. Embarrass the hell out of him.

[KyloRenNeedsTherapy]

Yep, I would. Personal apology and no money. He'll soon find socialising on fresh air is tough!

[Scarletforya]

Eh. Well, I wouldn't be worrying about her filling a kitchen porter job. She'll be used to flakiness and a high churn rate.

He did already apologise so I'd just leave it at that.

[lljkk]

What Scarlet said.

[chipsandpeas]

i wouldnt bother about a reference either, at that age its very acceptable not to have had a previous job anyway


least he told her, i remember just not turning up to do a part time job at that age

[Justmuddlingalong]

I don't see the big deal myself. He packed in a Saturday job, that to me isn't a 'resignation'. He won't get a reference, again not the end of the world. She had 2 days to find someone to wash dishes for a couple of hours. Not that difficult surely. I think if you can't say 'stick your job' when you're 14 it's a sorry affair.

[pasanda]

Yes, I'm not at all bothered about the reference tbh, it's just something she said on the phone.

It's funny because my dh accuses me of having shit boundaries and occasionally being a 'flaky' parent with regard to ds (he is his stepdad) but for some reason this has really pissed me off!

I think it's because it directly affects someone else whereas his usual stupidity/bad decisions that lots of 14 year olds make affect only himself.

I just feel a bit embarrassed. We live in a small village and it's the local pub.

[AnyFucker]

he is obviously not ready for a "job" and the grown up responsibilities that such entails

I wouldn't employ a 14yo and I wouldn't expect my 14yo to work

sounds like the first text was one of his mates messing about

[IHaveBrilloHair]

Leave it be and let him learn from it, he has been a dick, but it was his job.
Dd had the opposite problem, her boss was a bit of an arse and let her go in a huff, Dd played the innocent and has never bad mouthed her at all.

[Helmetbymidnight]

It sounds like he was showing off among friends.

I'd be v pissed off. A note of apology and a talking too would be good. And no subbing him for a bit.

It's a big lesson in not burning bridges/biting the hand and other cliches!

[Vaginaaa]

It's a bit weird to ring his mummy up to complain. If she is hiring children who she expects she can tell mummy on, she should expect they aren't as professional as people being paid proper wages in proper jobs. She isn't behaving in a professional manner either.

[Chippednailvarnish]

He'd be losing his phone for starters...

[wickedlazy]

I think you're being really harsh on him. He gave 48 hours notice, he had no contractual obligation to do otherwise, and he didn't need the reference. And he's obviously been thinking about it a lot since he mentioned it to you. Sounds like it was one of his mates being a dick, but that's not his fault. Maybe he just seized the moment with second text. If he was on crap money, I defo don't blame him.

[Thebookswereherfriends]

Do people really believe that handing notice by text is ok? Surely as parents we are meant to be guiding our children to operate in the adult world which means ensuring they know the right way about behaving in a job/or leaving a job, if they have one. I think you are right to get him to write a letter of apology.

[toffeeboffin]

I'd look at this as a life lesson.

Yes, he made a mistake but hopefully he'll learn from it.

[Justmuddlingalong]

He's 14 and has decided to hang up his Marigolds. He has not 'resigned' as the CEO of a multinational company. How much notice did his contract state he had to give?

[toffeeboffin]

Yes, and the landlady shouldn't be calling you up. Your son was the employee, not you.

[toffeeboffin]

'Embarrass the hell out of him'.

Nah, just show him this thread!

[Justmuddlingalong]

If you pay peanuts, you'll get monkeys.

[soundsystem]

Bit weird (and unprofessional) of the landlady to call you.

Did he have a contract? If he did and it said he had to give (for example) a weeks notice then, yes, he's out of order. If - as I suspect - it was an informal arrangement then she can't really be annoyed that he resigned in an informal manner!

[pasanda]

Thanks for all your thoughts.

I've calmed down a bit now

I know he's not the CEO of a multinational company, or had a contract, or was paid loads of money, or needs a reference etc etc

I just think that the attitude of 'stick your job', even a low paid, menial, shit job, is wrong. I have the stance of Thebookswereherfriends - I guess I am trying to teach him how to behave in a job and how to leave a job. It's the principle of it all really.

And AF, you are probably right. He is too young/immature/not ready for a job and I will wait until he grows up a bit and will therefore be more inclined to stick with it.

[LastOneDancing]

Even shit jobs have a tiny level of responsibility.

First I'd expect my DS to be brave and do it in person because sometimes you have to have hard conversations, and second I'd expect him to be considerate enough to give a weeks notice to someone who gave him the oppertunity to earn some cash at 14 which is rare. Doubt she'll do it again.

Although in fairness maybe he only sent the resignation after his hand was forced by the prank 'pay rise' one.

[cdtaylornats]

Point out to him if he doesn't apologise its going to be a bugger going to the next town for a drink when he's older