Advanced search

What do your dress hating DDs wear for formal events?

(21 Posts)
Ellybellyboo Fri 29-Jan-16 19:56:22

My brother is getting married in a couple of months and both my DDs are bridesmaids.

Very relaxed affair, SiL to be has given them both free reign over their outfits "they can wear bin bags if they like, I just want them to be my bridesmaids".

14 year old DD1 hates skirts and dresses so I'm coming out in a cold sweat a bit.

Colour scheme is burgundy and I found this (the whole outfit, although it's out of stock)

Have I blown way past "wear what you like" acceptability limits?

I've sent a link to SiL who seemed fine with it, but my mother is freaking out about it a bit

What sort of formal/occasion stuff do your dress hating DDs wear?

Jitterybug Fri 29-Jan-16 20:05:38

I think it's fine so long as sil happy with it. A cream lacey top would look nice with it too. like this

Jitterybug Fri 29-Jan-16 20:07:11

Sorry don't know why the link didn't work, try searching this ASOS All Over Lace Shell Top

Sadik Fri 29-Jan-16 20:08:46

I think if your SiL is fine with it, that's what matters. As Jitterybug says, a pretty lacey top would look lovely.

FWIW my dress hating dd wore the full cream frilly affair when she was a bridesmaid without complaint. But she took it off about 3 minutes after the ceremony, and looks pretty awkward in the pictures!

Ellybellyboo Fri 29-Jan-16 20:29:09


I think if we insisted DD would wear a dress without complaint but she feels awkward, uncomfortable and self conscious in them.

SiL wants them to be happy and comfortable but I'm worried that she's just being nice about it. SiL is lovely and I don't want to push my luck

We've got a couple of months left yet so I'll keep hunting (and hoping that comes back into stock!)

kickassangel Fri 29-Jan-16 20:36:48

My DD (age 12) wears a pair of smarter jeans/leggings and a floaty type top for anything which involves a religious ceremony. Sometimes she has a pretty cotton cardigan over it.

The only thing I'd say about the suit is that it's a bit 'workwear' for a wedding. Maybe a pair of patterned leggings with a pretty floaty top?

a bit like this

Sadik Fri 29-Jan-16 21:03:30

Could you just say what you've said above to your SiL - ie, that if she'd prefer, dd would definitely wear a dress - but that she'd be happier in a trouser suit or similar. To be honest, in their teens unless they're 'girly' in image, a bridesmaid's dress isn't going to look the best (dd has razored/partly shaved and floppy hair, not really quite the pre-raphelite look!)

I still have very funny photos of myself (age 20 or so - generally dressed very grunge/punky) in a full length pale purple satin dress with bows everywhere and my hair curled, shepherding little bridesmaids looking v. cute in smaller versions of the same. I didn't make my bridesmaids wear traditional dresses . . . grin

Clare1971 Fri 29-Jan-16 22:16:20

Your SIL sounds lovely. We had a horrible situation in our family where bride asked groom's niece to be bridesmaid but wanted her to wear a dress even though niece had been dressing in boys clothes for over a year. Niece really felt she couldn't wear a dress and offered to wear a trouser suit but bride then said she couldn't be bridesmaid and half family ended up not coming to wedding. It was so sad. Take your SIL at her word and thank her for being so lovely! (And I think that trouser suit would look lovely with a nice top.)

Ellybellyboo Fri 29-Jan-16 22:38:35

SiLis really lovely and my girls both love her to bits and I have explained to her that DD will wear a dress if SiL wants her to, but we're all being so nice about it we're in a bit of a nice-off grin

It's their wedding and whilst it's all very laid back, we are quite happy to do what they want us to do, within reason of course, I don't think I could coerce DD into anything like the puffed sleeve lilac monstrosity that I wore when I was a bridesmaid at 18 grin

I should probably just take her at her word and stop trying to second guess her.

I was originally hunting for a ladies tuxedo, I thought it would be a bit more dressy/occasion-y, but haven't found anything yet

Doublebubblebubble Fri 29-Jan-16 22:42:10

My DD will either wear tights, smart shorts and a sparkly top. She absolutely detests dresses/skirts too x

hellsbells99 Sat 30-Jan-16 06:43:55

What about something like this (but with the V neck sown up a bit more)

Ellybellyboo Sat 30-Jan-16 09:38:07

Oh, I like that. It looks like a good compromise

Will show DD and SiL


Jitterybug Sat 30-Jan-16 10:20:20

Love that jumpsuit! Back to my cream lacey top grin but would look great under it.

BackforGood Mon 01-Feb-16 21:33:33

Honestly ? I don't really think the trouser suit is appropriate.
My older dd never chooses to wear a skirt or dress, but she would understand that if she agrees to be bridesmaid, she would be expected to wear whatever the bride would like her too. Your SiL sounds lovely, but I would want to be sure she really, really, really doesn't mind as the suit looks like something you might wear to work, to me.

EdithWeston Mon 01-Feb-16 21:39:14

That jumpsuit could be exactly the right thing.

Because it doesn't look remotely like office wear.

Sadik Mon 01-Feb-16 21:50:11

"Honestly ? I don't really think the trouser suit is appropriate."

Surely it depends on the wedding! I'd have been perfectly happy with a bridesmaid wearing that at my wedding and in fact my dress hating witness/best woman - not so far out of her teens as we got married quite young - wore a suit & looked lovely.

HermioneWeasley Mon 01-Feb-16 21:57:14

I think either the trouser suit or jump suit are fine. They're not ripped jeans!

katienana Mon 01-Feb-16 22:02:17

I really like the trouser suit, with some glam accessories I think it would look fab for a wedding. Would she be carrying flowers? Or wear a buttonhole? Worth considering how that would work with the ensemble.

TwoTooManyKidz Tue 02-Feb-16 12:50:07

I think at her age you can just give her a set amount of money, some guidelines and send her into primark a clothes shop and let her pick.

Ellybellyboo Tue 02-Feb-16 12:59:15


DD and SiL preferred the jumpsuit so I've ordered it and will see if the neckline can be altered a bit. It looks like it should be fine.

DD will be carrying cream flowers and her hair is going to be curled and put into a low, side bun with small cream flowers pinned into it

Fingers crossed it looks ok!

OneMagnumisneverenough Tue 02-Feb-16 18:38:00

That looks a good compromise. If it doesn't work out this is also nice:

or something like this if you wanted something more covered up - teamed with plain bottoms:

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now