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How honest are you with your teens about your own teenage shenanigans?

(36 Posts)
BigSandyBalls2015 Fri 29-Jan-16 18:59:52

Drugs, sex, booze, bunking?

I think DH is sharing too much with our impressionable 14 year old DDs,
and trying to look like a cool guy with an exaggerated misspent youth

PolovesTubbyCustard Fri 29-Jan-16 19:01:17

Ooh I keep quiet.

I let DS know that I know 'stuff' but no need to overshare. grin

Diamogs Fri 29-Jan-16 19:26:24

I make it known that I know what teens get up to but don't confess my sins

MissFlight Fri 29-Jan-16 19:28:13

Only when they reach the age of 19 wink

CremeEggThief Fri 29-Jan-16 19:30:38

Hmm, no need to share my past with 13 year old DS just yet!

Bluelilies Fri 29-Jan-16 19:31:02

I talk about lots of friends and people I knew (never named) who got up to all sorts of bad things, but never me ;)

It is something I've grappled with a bit tbh as I do really value an honest open relationship, but have decided that admitting to some things normalises them and makes them seem OK, when really I'd rather my DC didn't do them.

DC1 (16) seems to have developed a "my body is a temple" attitude and won't touch a drop of alcohol, not now, not ever hmm so don't think I'll have much bother with him. DC2 (12, going on 19) meanwhile is a different kettle of fish....

donajimena Fri 29-Jan-16 19:31:27

No way would I tell them. I wasn't particularly wild if you discount the underage drinking and smoking cannabis etc
I am sure I read somewhere that admitting anything normalises it and gives them a green light thinking that nothing bad happened to you. Whereas the truth is I was extremely lucky to have not suffered a serious mishap especially as some of my habits brought me into contact with some extremely shady people.

MayhemandMadness Fri 29-Jan-16 19:31:28

Dear lord - absolutely nothing at all.

In fact, as far as they are concerned, I spent all my free time in a nunnery, reading the bible not catholic and dont go to church I'm an excellent fibber when needs must blush

Bluelilies Fri 29-Jan-16 19:35:24

That's how I feel dona - that they'd be bound to think that if I'd done things and turned out OK, it was safe. But actually I was lucky.

worriedmumred Fri 29-Jan-16 19:37:13

I won't be telling them anything....and I got up to a lot and my parents were Puritan in thinking so....its up to you, but if my parents were free with stuff I wouldn't new here I am now

Shallishanti Fri 29-Jan-16 19:38:23

I don't think you actually need to lie, just don't tell the whole truth
mine have been shocked to the core to learn I briefly smoked tobacco I think any more revelations might finish them off!

Sleepingbunnies Fri 29-Jan-16 19:39:29

Good God no! My DDs are only 6 & 4 at the mo but when the time comes I am keeping quiet! very misspent youth

springscoming Fri 29-Jan-16 19:43:03

Thankfully, my teens are/were very much more sensible and lovely than I was at that age. I tell them nothing. The upside of a very mis-spent youth is that they'd get nothing past me anyway. And they know it. smile

littledrummergirl Fri 29-Jan-16 19:59:20

I tell them loads, but I was a fantastic teen. I wish dh would keep more of his teen years to himself but as he won't we both talk about what a stupid idea it was, what the consequences could have been etc and ask the dc to make their life choices better ones than us.
Seems to be working at the moment.

Ticktacktock Fri 29-Jan-16 20:38:35

Omg, nothing shared here,God forbid!!!!!

Dh has an extremely chequered history and it won't ever be shared. I was squeaky by comparison, but still did stuff I shouldn't!

3catsandcounting Fri 29-Jan-16 22:27:53

I tell DD18 stuff about my youth (and even slightly embellish it!) and she just looks at me like hmm

SiwanGwynt Sat 30-Jan-16 11:34:09

I tell them nothing. I had quite wild teenage years and am very lucky I came out unscathed.

One night I smelt weed coming from DS's room, I went in and told him off. He was amazed that I knew what the smell was.

cdtaylornats Sat 30-Jan-16 12:22:53

It's much better to tell kids about their parents misdeeds.

donajimena Sat 30-Jan-16 12:34:14

I don't agree cdtaylor but I guess we are all different.
I am not my children's mate and I don't want to be 'down with the kids' its my job to set boundaries. Absolutely no way can you do that if you practice do as I say not as I do (or did)

tsonlyme Sat 30-Jan-16 12:42:29

Told my eldest (19) loads as she asks and I was advised by CAMHS to be honest, but they also advised that we didn't leave out the bad bits, like the people lost to drugs and/or alcohol, or who ended up in prison, or with huge addiction problems.

Youngest (16) never asks and isn't even remotely interested in being a wild child.

Ragwort Sat 30-Jan-16 12:59:48

I don't go into specific details blush but I also don't make out I was goody two shoes.

Clare1971 Sat 30-Jan-16 23:08:11

I don't say much - I wasn't particularly bad if you don't count the rampant sex but teenagers are designed to push boundaries so I'd worry if I told them stuff they'd feel the need to go one better/worse. Having said that, now they are a bit older (youngest almost 18) if they asked direct questions I would probably answer. I do think if you tell them stuff too young, especially if you're making it sound 'cool' you're giving them the impression that they ought to be doing it too. Although I'm pretty sure mine have all avoided getting tattoos because Iv'e got one so who knows - maybe it's reverse psychology?

nooka Sat 30-Jan-16 23:25:43

I generally go with an honest approach with my children, it's worked well through their childhood and I don't know why I'd change now they are teenagers. I didn't do anything particularly wild, but I certainly made my fair share of mistakes. It generally leads to some interesting conversations which is I think good. Neither of them are showing any particular signs of going off the rails. Some of the stories we've told them have horrified them, some just made them laugh.

Wineandchovolateneededasap Sun 31-Jan-16 00:11:15

I don't tell DD she would hold it against me. I pretend I worked hard and was studioushmm.

Ellarose85 Tue 02-Feb-16 15:23:22

DP and I were massively into going to free parties and taking drugs recreationally right up until with had our DCs. I'm totally torn as to weather we should be open about this or keep stum!

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