DS 18 terribly shy

[BrentCross]

He is a lovely and we'll adjusted young man. Has a few friends at school and from primary. He has always been quiet. I though hed grow out of it but he hasn't. Seems to be getting worse if anything. Don't know how to help him

[Sparklingbrook]

So is he in 6th Form at the moment?

DS1 is 16 and fairly quiet and a bit shy. He has had a part time job since the summer and that has really improved his confidence.

Does he go out, or have any interests?

[BrentCross]

He likes reading and he goes cycling. Sometimes goes to gigs. 6th form yes. Doing well academically but when I see him with people he just seems to suffer it makes him so so nervous. Strangely seems more nervous and ill at ease around adult men, maybe because EXDH Wales out when he was 2.

[BrentCross]

walked not WALES

[Sparklingbrook]

So it doesn't stop him going out and enjoying himself, that's good. Are his friends a bit more gregarious?
I tend to feel like DS1 is the shyest of his group. Also DS2 is not shy in any way at all which makes me feel it's nature rather than nurture.

Do you think it's holding him back?

[BrentCross]

He just seems so so nervous and looks at the ground turns red etc. His friends are nice quiet lads but not quite as shy as him. I just wonder if it will ever lift. It is stressful for him. Is your DS shy with everyone sparkling? How did you notice him coming out of himself?

[Sparklingbrook]

DS tended to never have eye contact. His P/T job is customer facing so he has no choice now so that definitely improved things. Plus he has to answer the phone.

He isn't great at talking to teachers still and will try and avoid having to ask anyone about anything. He wouldn't strike up a conversation with a stranger in public for instance. I think he does annoy himself.

Is your DS looking at going to Uni this year?

[Micah]

He might not need or want help.

Is he happy? Does he like socialising or does he prefer being by himself?

Google the introverted child. Some people are actually quite happy with not having manic social lives, and like a quieter life.

Stop pushing him to go out and socialise if he doesnt want to. Its actually quite horrible to go out and know youre going to have to force yourself, hating every minute. It is ok to enjoy your own company. Doesnt make him sad, or odd, or wierd.

If he wants to do more, you couod see if theres clubs or activities hes interested in.