My DD 13 is so sad and says she doesn't want to be alive anymore. I am taking her to GP and presumably she'll get a camhs referral, but I'm so worried about her. She is writing down some terrible things about how she feels with phrases like she's a waste of space and can't see the point of going on and how everyone would be better off if she's not alive anymore. She told me the other night that it doesn't matter if she's here or not and she doesn't want to be anywhere anymore. She has an uneasy relationship with her father, but this seems to be better recently. She was seeing a boy at school but this has just ended. She has friends at school and used to enjoy it but now says she hates it. She still does after school sports and some other activities like violin lessons and karate and still enjoys these. She then tells me she's fine and not to worry about her. (like that's going to happen)
Has anyone got any advice? I know GP and Camhs and counsellors are a good starting place , but is this teenage angst or much more. I'm terrified my lovely girl isn't going to make it... All I can do is cry.
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Depressed 13 year old DD
pandora987 · 19/01/2016 11:02
Would you say she's having some quite rapid mood swings then Pandora (
and [hugs] by the way, really feel for you)? She sounds quite like my DD also 13. One min she's laughing and the next she's down in the gutter and everything is terrible. I bought some Well Woman tablets for her last month to see if a diet supplement would help. Sounds obvious but diet and enough sleep are big factors in how good you feel and there's also the dreaded hormones!
How much of this do you think is to do with this boy at school btw, does she say much about it? Hopefully it will pass soon if that is troubling her.
Whilst you are waiting for GP (how long are you waiting they should get her in quick) etc have you had a look if there are any good books out there on self confidence/self worth. Do you tell her positive stuff about herself and her life OP, what I mean is don't just assume she know's that xyz love her or she's pretty or kind or whatever, tell her, often. Have you got any other family members or friends she might talk to eg an Aunty or someone?
Good luck and stay here for help.
I totally understand that one too, toddlerhood was FAR easier - at least then you weren't trying to juggle teen angst, with severe anxiety etc & allowing them the freedom to be independent & grow up. Mine is in a wheelchair now too, so that's even harder. She accuses me of smothering her one minute(which I don't) & then "why weren't you there when I needed help" the next
Diet is a good point - hers is pretty bad but a blood test is a problem as she has a massive needle phobia!! rockinhippy do you think she should have supplements anyway?
Some supplements might be a good idea as several vitamin deficiencies have depression as a symptom.
But with B12 deficiency you need to be sure that there isn't any underlying absorption problem, if there is, then supplements containing B12 won't help, but will skew any future blood test results.
I learnt that one the hard way with my own DD, we have a very strong family history of autoimmune Pernicious Anaemia. DDs blood results were on the low side, but not low enough for our doctor to take seriously & treat, as she had been taking supplements, but it's the wrong form of B12, so doesn't help her health problems. If you can afford it though & there are reasons to suspect an absorption problem of some sort, then there is a private uMMA urine test which is the gold standard test. Unfortunately NHS tests are known to be unreliable, but not all doctors work on that basis.
IF you are sure there are no underlying problems such as family members with PA, she's had ongoing stomach trouble, chrohns, colitis, IBS etc, certain drugs such as nitrous oxide for teeth extraction etc which block B12 absorption, possible parasite such as a tape worm & she doesn't eat a lot of animal produce, - (sorry, I've been on a huge learning curve with this stuff lately & it's been a real eye opener for us health wise, so I can ramble on 
). - Then yes, she could well benefit from a Complete B vitamin supplement & maybe an added B12 sublingual spray or lozenge too to boost her B12 right up - it's a water soluble vitamin, so she can't have too much. She will also need to take Folic acid to help the body absorb the B12.
Other B Vit deficiencies, such as B6 (I think) also have Depression as a symptom
& Vitamin D is something most of the U.K. is deficient in, especially in winter, this causes depression too(& other symptoms) the NHS good levels for this are actually pretty low, so where as you can over dose on it, you can safely take quite a lot -
my DDs vit D was low, so I gave her a "loading dose of 10,000iu of D3, plus 200pu of K2, with a spoonful of coconut oil (fat to help absorb it) daily for 2 weeks & her next blood test it was a bit high (as far as NHS goes) & I now give her 5000iu, plus Vit K 2/3 times a week as a maintenance dose, she also takes magnesium & 5htp too, though I've heard good things about sAME too for helping depression, so I'm looking into swapping 5htp for that
My own DD does have a lot more going on than the depression & anxiety though, pain, insomnia etc, but she actually chose to meet 2 of her school friends in town on her own this week & insisted that she would be okay with the wheelchair on her own, she's also,looking forward to visiting school this week, this might not sound a lot, but it is a HUGE step forward for her, so I do think the supplements help
Oh & I forgot to say - CAHMS have given us contact details for the MIND charity, apparently they have "young persons advocates" who are fully trained & can be available far more than CAHMS can (thanks to cut backs)
I really hope some of that helps your DD, it's hellish for them & us to deal with 
That's great Pandora, much easier to put right with supplement
In the beginning we found the Holland & Barrett Complete B Vitamin B Complex pills, taken with 1 X H&B 50g 5HTP to be helpful for DDs anxiety, depression & insomnia. The Complete B, has B12 in it too, not great for us as it skewed blood results, but would be fine for your DD, plus it has all,other B vits in it, which are known to help with depression & sleep etc, as is 5htp. We also give her H& B high dose magnesium as it helps regulate stress levels, pain etc & I explained about Vit D below, vit D & K I buy stuff that was recommended to me on Amazon. Shout if you want more details on those.
Re; counselling
We haven't had private (just spotted that you are doing that for her, which is great
) but with CAHMS & School counsellors when she was a bit younger, we do/did get feed back from the counsellors, not detailed as such, but I did get the impression that they would flag up any concerns that it would be helpful for you to know about. As you are paying, & she is still a minor, then my guess is that you can insist on more details if you want to.
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