I have just seen on a text my 14 year son telling a friend he's bi - i am worried he will be picked on!!

[josben]

14 year DS has a girlfriend who he is on/off with - and i think he feels a bit isolated and he has friends but he sometimes says no one speaks to him at school ...

Anyway i've just seen that he's told a couple of friends by text that he's 'bi'

If he is, he is ...- but this seems like it may be a cry for attention and i am worried that he may be labelled / picked on if his friends tell people at school ...!

He is a sensitive lad and wears his heart on his sleeve .... i am not sure what to do,,,? especially as i was not meant to see the text...?

:(

[aginghippy]

Why do you think it's a cry for attention?

IMO it's more likely that he actually is bi. And good for him that he feels able to chat to his friends about it.

Defo don't tell him you have seen the texts. Keep the lines of communication open. Ask him in a general way about how things are going at school. If you find out he is being picked on, then you can talk to him about what steps to take. This might include you contacting his form tutor or head of year about it.

But cross that bridge when you come to it. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that his friends are supportive and accepting of him.

[BoBo90]

You shouldn't really be checking his messages as to a teenager that says you don't trust him. He may also be embarrassed as he wasn't ready to discuss it with you yet.

He may be Bi or (like me at that age) suspect he may be Bi because he can find both sexes attractive which doesn't necessarily mean he wants to have a relationship with them, just that he can appreciate a good looking person regardless of sex (which I think we all can do). Therefore he may not really Bi. We are so accepting of lesbian/gay/bi people these days that it's only natural for teenagers to consider they may have those feelings.

I wouldn't worry too much until he decides to tell you himself as that is when he will most likely know for sure who he is

As for the bullying just monitor how he is when he returns from school and be supportive of other aspects of his school life without mentioning the text. I imagine if it spreads around the school and he is bullied for it the teachers will find out and (hopefully) contact you.

[janethegirl2]

Plenty of young males like both boys and girls at that age. He may or may not have these preferences when older.
He will be what he will be.
Please don't let him know you have read his texts though.

[BoBo90]

Also meant to put that if he is Bi (which is absolutely fine) and tells you in the near future you will be ready to support him and it wont be quite a shock Either way it will all be fine!

[rogueantimatter]

I don't think there's much stigma among young people these days. Plenty of teens put the rainbow gay pride stripes across their fb profile pics for example. DD has lots of gay friends.