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Good luck to all of trying to get angsty teens to return to school this week

(14 Posts)
PoppySeedRoll Sun 03-Jan-16 18:48:20

Dreading tomorrow morning as meltdowns have commenced already today. School have bent over backwards to be helpful, CAMHS are involved and the ed psych but every morning is hellish trying to get her out. No bullying, very very bright, just doesn't want to go. I feel this is going to be the year I have to pack my job in so I can cope with her. Yes, I'm being unfair and bitter but the drama of the past year has been so difficult and unpleasant and I'm worn out. Meh.

TheSecondOfHerName Sun 03-Jan-16 20:54:02

You have my sympathies.

My teenager doesn't go back until Tue, but we do have an appt with the CAMHS psychiatrist to look forward to tomorrow.

Hetty3838 Sun 03-Jan-16 21:04:29

I feel your pain DD spent most of year 8 and 9 like this. I had to battle her in every day and she'd find a way to get home anyway by faking illness or injury. She is in year 10 now and has marginally improved but she has that look in her eyes that spells trouble so I'm expecting a fun day tomorrow.

BigSandyBalls2015 Sun 03-Jan-16 21:41:30

I was sitting here thinking here we go again, as DD hates school. I've so loved the holidays. On a positive note, half term is 5 weeks away. Good luck for Tom.

MyballsareSandy2015 Mon 04-Jan-16 09:24:49

How did it go? Mine was surprisingly very good this morning, no moanng and ready before she needed to be!! I can't quite believe it.

Finola1step Mon 04-Jan-16 09:33:23

I take my hat off too all of you. My dcs are primary age so not yet had this experience as a parent. But, I was that school refuser. As was my older sister.

I truanted and refused from year 5-9. Knew every trick in the book. Even faked a knee injury which got me out of school for the last few weeks of Year 8. The main reason was boredom. I just really disliked going. Yes, there were other family things but at the time all I could say was that I just really didn't want to go..i didn't fit.

But I did start attending regularly from Year 9. Got a decent set if GCSEs and then A levels. Then university.

My parents did pretty much throw in the towel. But I did have some fantastic teachers who were on my back all the time.

Whatever you do, don't throw in that towel.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Mon 04-Jan-16 09:36:59

year 8 Ds got in on time despite a strop lasting 6-8am

Sitting with a tea a kit Kat to recover.

ButEmilylovedhim Mon 04-Jan-16 09:37:48

Mine was meant to be going in for 11 (reduced timetable) but has handily developed a cold/fever thing late last night and is still asleep so can't see him going in. Sigh. Then we'll have the anxiety when he is well. So so hard to get him to go. I'm a SAHM but would have had to give up work, otherwise he would have never gone in, without someone pushing hard. I wish the CAMHS people were here in the mornings sometimes!

PoppySeedRoll Mon 04-Jan-16 11:12:37

Mild stropping but went in. I helped her get ready. School refusal is awful and I feel for all of us. Not just the anguish of trying to get your child to go but the judging from people who tell you they'd soon make her go in. It took over our lives last year and I'm praying this year is better. CAMHS seem to do a lot of nodding and agreeing but nothing really practical unless you're in crisis (we had that last year). Big hand hold, tea and sympathy to all of you. Not throwing in the towel but definitely going to make more time for me this year.

TheSecondOfHerName Mon 04-Jan-16 12:54:23

My plan for 2016 is to be supportive and patient but try not to end up joining DS on the emotional rollercoaster. He is currently attending school full-time, but timetabled for 80% lessons, 20% self-directed study. That was working last term, but the next two weeks are mocks, which is not going to help his anxiety levels.

MyballsareSandy2015 Mon 04-Jan-16 12:54:25

I'm lucky thst my work have agreed a late start time to enable me to get DD up and out to school. If I had to leave the house before her she would never go.

I'm aware that some colleagues think this is ridiculous for a nearly 15 year old but most of them are either child free or have small children. Perhaps I would have found it odd when mine were small, who knows!

TheSecondOfHerName Mon 04-Jan-16 12:56:23

the judging from people who tell you they'd soon make her go in

Yes, I've tried that. He goes in, then has panic attacks or self-injures at school, then they phone me to come and take him home.

MyballsareSandy2015 Mon 04-Jan-16 22:55:08

DD moody and miserable this eve, she has been fine during the hols. She can't explain why.

CuttedUpPear Tue 05-Jan-16 02:46:22

Oh lord, I'm there with DS (18).
Every time I think we're on track he pulls something else out of the bag.

I actually permitted him to leave school at the start of yr11 due to ADHD and social communication issues, and home edded him along with the Pupil Referral Service. Managed to pass 2 GCSEs. Then eased him back into college.

He HAS to stay in education this year, I can't manage financially otherwise. But he's flinging his 6ft frame around declaring that he isn't going to go back in.

Cue the big conversation again. He says he wants to get a job but he actually doesn't have the inclination to look for one.

I'll be glad when the day comes when I can stop supporting this massive man-child.

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