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Going out on NYE

(19 Posts)
thunderbird69 Tue 29-Dec-15 20:25:48

DS16 is expecting to be allowed out on NYE. He says there is a party at someone's house in nearby town. No idea where he will spend the night or get home.

I want him to stay home with the family. I don't think he is old enough to expect to go out and I don't know the person who is having the party (he says he doesn't know her that well but all his friends are going).

He has let us down/lied to us in the past and so doesn't have our trust. We do let him have a couple of drinks at home and don't mind if he does the same when he is out, but I would expect there would be more than a couple at a NYE party.

Wondered what other teens are up to and what is 'usual' for 16 year olds?

ThatIsNachoCheese Tue 29-Dec-15 20:30:31

My 16 yo is going to a party and will be getting home at 2am.
She has never given us reason to not trust her, she always goes where she says she's going, has never come home too drunk or not come home.
I moved out at 16 and could do whatever I damn well wanted!
Will be interested in the other replies!

ThatIsNachoCheese Tue 29-Dec-15 20:33:07

I wouldn't let her go without there being a plan for getting home or staying with someone I know.
Last Nye I didn't drink and collected her at 12.30 am from a party nearby. I kind of think they're young, let them have fun with their friends.
However, having said that, you have had issues with him being honest in the past. Could you speak to him and say this will be his chance to prove himself? And come up with a plan for getting home etc?

harridan50 Tue 29-Dec-15 20:33:30

My 16 year old daughter is going to a party of approx 20 friends about 15 minutes from home. I dont know them all well, there will be some alcohol but I do trust her judgement based on previous experience.She will be sleeping over.
My less sensible 18 year old is going to a club in a city an hour from home which is more concerning

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Tue 29-Dec-15 20:35:12

I'd only encourage ours to go if they were staying over, or within walking distance tbh. Either that, or let them have 3 or 4 friends round to ours.

AgentProvocateur Tue 29-Dec-15 20:37:02

I'd let him go as long as he made arrangements for coming home in advance ie, booked a taxi.

Haffdonga Tue 29-Dec-15 20:38:58

My 16 year old is going to a party (walking distance). I agree I'd probably want to agree return times and mode of transport and use it as a bit of a test to see if your ds keeps tp the deal.

SinglePringle Tue 29-Dec-15 20:40:48

Blimey. At 16 I was out all night at parties. My parents were fine with that.

MrsPnut Tue 29-Dec-15 20:45:04

We are hosting a party, dd18 decided that paying £30 to get into a club was too much. 4 other girls are staying over by the rest need to get home. We will probably end up trying to get taxis for hapless individuals late at night.

Sparkyduchess Tue 29-Dec-15 20:54:11

Mines going to a party 20 mins drive away, he thought he was getting a taxi back to a friends but we'll pick them up and deliver mate home. Don't like the idea of a couple of 16 yr olds hanging around waiting for a cab that likely someone else will grab, leaving them stranded.

DurhamDurham Tue 29-Dec-15 21:05:35

My two girls are 18 and 22, I honestly cannot remember the last time we spent new year with them. I think they were to parties from about 15 onwards, we always dropped them off and it was always with families who we knew. They either stayed the whole night or we picked them u enroute home from wherever we had been.
Just lay down a few rules and regulations and let your teen know that if it doesn't go well it will be quite some time before you let him out again.

stayathomegardener Tue 29-Dec-15 21:06:16

DD 16 is going with two friends to a New Years party for 300 16+.
A bit nervous but she is very sensible and has talked through most possible problems.
DH commented before that we will be toasting the new year with a bottle of sparkly water driving around Cheshire with pick ups and drop offs, home about 2am.
But you know what, they are only young once and this is her first proper New Years Eve out so embrace it I think.
Might even take the Christmas cheese and biscuits with us for a midnight car picnic.

thunderbird69 Tue 29-Dec-15 21:20:47

Sounds like I'm worrying more than the norm then.
If it was someone I knew having the party it would be different, but even my DS doesn't know them. Plus I've not met the friends he hangs out with and what I hear of them isn't great ( eg fights, dropping out of education and jobs). I really don't like being a parent right now!

Alvah Fri 01-Jan-16 02:23:33

Thunderbird I completely understand your concern. This sounds like something my DS would want to do, and has already. It has been a complete nightmare as I have been unable at times to stop him. Ended up contacting police and SW myself because this last year he has practically done as he pleased.

Now almost 15 I can see that I'm going to have to meet him halfway. Next year he'll be 16 and could move out theoretically. I wouldn't mind so much if I knew the parents/ other kids were sensible, but a fair few are not that great.

This is his first New Year out with friends and he's staying over with a friend down the road. However this is the 3rd party this Christmas and I know they are drinking hmm

I'm definitely not liking being a parent at the moment- it's terrifying flowers

rogueantimatter Fri 01-Jan-16 11:43:39

Our 16YO came with DH and me to a (small) party hosted by his friend's mum. There were three families with teenagers there. He had two or three beers and a glass of bubbly (I think). Home at 2pm. Drinking then not coming home afterwards won't be allowed till he's 17. (practice for being 18)

lincolnshirelassy Fri 01-Jan-16 12:24:02

I would allow this but I would want to know exactly where the party was and how they were getting home. I avoided this by having three of dd's friends over here (they're 15 and the drinking at house parties is just starting) who got slightly tipsy and ended up playing hide and seek with the younger ones, it was great fun actually!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Fri 01-Jan-16 12:25:40

Yes, I think hosting a sleepover for a few friends is the safest way forward!

thunderbird69 Fri 01-Jan-16 14:10:02

I decided to pick him up ( I don't drink). That meant I knew he was safe and at could sleep.
He drank more than I would have liked but wasn't too bad

rogueantimatter Fri 01-Jan-16 16:49:22

Glad it worked out thunderbird. It's all very well letting them be independent but IMO the possibility for disaster in such a situation is enormous. Safety is important!

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