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I seem to have spent a lot of time this xmas preventing friends/relatives from plying DD(14) with booze!

(13 Posts)
BigSandyBalls2015 Tue 29-Dec-15 12:18:43

Never experienced this before but several different sets of friends and relatives seemed very keen to offer DD drink this year. She'll be 15 in the spring and she's often had a little glass of fizz with us when there's a celebration, or sips of our wine if she's asked. And the occasional shandy etc.

One adult friend was constantly topping her prosecco up - I deliberately gave her a small glass, and he kept commenting saying I was babying her etc. Then my brother arrived on boxing day with a load of fruit ciders for her, suggesting she might like these now she's 'nearly 15'. Even MIL thought it was a laugh to give her some sloe vodka. And another relative bought her a beer in the pub!

I'm not anti drink at all, in fact me and DH drink far more than the recommended amount, particularly over this sort of holiday, but why encourage DD to start drinking when she hasn't even expressed that much interest. Seems weird to me.

MyballsareSandy2015 Tue 29-Dec-15 18:53:52


roundandroundthehouses Tue 29-Dec-15 19:05:49

Not sure. I've not encountered that with my two (17 and 14), but remember a couple of older relatives plying me with drink and fags at a similar age. I think they were trying to be the 'cool' type of adult.

coffeeisnectar Tue 29-Dec-15 19:10:49

I had this with my oldest who's now 17 and I had a lot of surprise that at 14 she wasn't drinking like a fish.

She drinks fruit cider at home on the odd occasion and on a night out that my sil was attending, sil asked me beforehand if it was ok to buy her a drink. She's the only one that's asked though.

roundandroundthehouses Tue 29-Dec-15 19:10:52

I actually remember making up little comedy sketches about them in my head.

- Houses, do you want a fag?'
- No, thanks.
- Aw, go on.
- No, thanks, I don't smoke.
- Come on, I know you smoke, really.
- I don't!
- You can tell me.
- I don't bloody smoke!
- Damn right. I'm glad you know you can fucking swear in front of me. I'm the sort of person who's cool with that. I won't bloody tell a fucking soul.


Hedgehoginthegarden Tue 29-Dec-15 22:14:48

I would not be happy with this at all. Dd16 drinks at parties etc I know but I certainly don't encourage it and would be having a quiet word with said adults about it.

SisterNancySinatra Tue 29-Dec-15 22:23:06

Yea I've noticed it with my DD who is very prudish and a sensible teenager. It annoys me when other teenagers and young adults try and see if she will give in . I think it's a bit like bullying but she does stand her ground .

SleepIsForTheWeakAnyway Tue 29-Dec-15 22:25:07

I have this with my family for my eldest DC who are only 13 & 11. I had to stop my DM from buying alcohol for dc1's stocking. It drives me nuts. I'm not against alcohol but not for the children ffs. I just take a deep breath and repeat 'no, they are too young' until they get the message... Until the next time at least angry

StealthPolarBear Tue 29-Dec-15 22:27:22

Good for you op. My dc are 9 and 6 but I plan to stand my ground on this. I remember wondering whether I could give dhs cousin a drink at a hen party, she was 17 and her mum was there

EachandEveryone Tue 29-Dec-15 22:30:56

I have my nieces wish me tonight 13 and nearly 15. They spotted the Baileys straight away and told me they are allowed. I text my sister who said they had a mouthful on Xmas day and it was alright to do the same so I gave them one diluted with milk.

Canyouforgiveher Tue 29-Dec-15 22:43:16

I have a 15 year old and a 14 year old and if a grandparent or uncle or family friend started plying them with alcohol and buying them drink, I would think that adult was deranged - at best.

Admittedly I live in the US where the legal drinking age is a stupid 21 (and an adult buying drink for a 14 year old would definitely be at risk for prosecution) but I am originally from Ireland and have plenty of nieces/nephews/friends children who live in that environment, and even then someone giving anything more than the small glass of fizz/whatever to a 14 year old would be regarded as someone with a really bad attitude to alcohol.

I really don't like the idea of young teens (and 14 is a young teen) being taught that fun and celebration must have alcohol.

BackforGood Tue 29-Dec-15 23:53:00

I have a 14 yr old and wouldn't be happy with this.
My 17 yr old is just trying different drinks, and 'finding her feet' with what she likes / doesn't, and, tbh, I wouldn't be keen on any adult encouraging her to have more than 'a little' either. The 14 yr old, I'd be furious.

MyballsareSandy2015 Wed 30-Dec-15 00:23:16

Thanks. I feel as though I was being a killjoy but she's still young

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