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Christmas sleeping arrangements! My kids not happy, help!

(129 Posts)
Jojorobrob Sun 20-Dec-15 18:50:45

Hello, I have 3 daughters of my own, I am divorced and have a wonderful partner who I've been with for 3 years, who is widowed and has 2 children. Over Christmas I want them all to stay with me, and they want to, but my eldest daughter has really kicked off over sleeping arrangements, ie, my second eldest daughter will need to give up her room for a few days and move in to my eldest daughters room. I feel I should stand my ground on this as it is my house, I pay the mortgage, and surely what I say goes?? But i'm a pushover and I have ended up telling my partner that he cant come over Xmas. My kids have their own way and are happy now, but i'm devastated that I cant see my partner and I cant stop crying. We want to move in together over the next couple of years too and I just cant see it happening with my daughters acting this way and kicking off until they get their own way?! I just want one big happy family. Can anyone advise me what to do please? Am I being completely selfish? Thanks in advance

Getit Sun 20-Dec-15 18:57:48

I can't believe that you have allowed your dd's to control and end your plans with your partner of 3 years!!
You should of put your foot down .
How must your partner feel about it all ?

Getit Sun 20-Dec-15 18:58:30

They are being selfish not you .

Chasingsquirrels Sun 20-Dec-15 19:00:00

How old are they?

Kelsoooo Sun 20-Dec-15 19:00:42

How old are your children? Because theyre behaving dreadfully.

SavoyCabbage Sun 20-Dec-15 19:01:51

How old is she?

VintageDresses Sun 20-Dec-15 19:02:47

Agree, sometimes you just have to tell them how it's going to be.

My teens will be "camping" in dsis' conservatory for three nights grin

Jojorobrob Sun 20-Dec-15 19:04:47

21, 15 and 9. My partner thinks i'm too soft too, and hes devastated that I've made this decision, as I am

Chasingsquirrels Sun 20-Dec-15 19:05:09

sorry, just realised it's in teens - so at least 13.
You have been together for 3 years, presumably they have all met etc. Do they get on?

But yes - tell them what's happening.

Chasingsquirrels Sun 20-Dec-15 19:05:54

Are there other issues between your daughter & partner?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Sun 20-Dec-15 19:06:20

It's not too late to change your mind. Your oldest daughter is an adult and should know better, and you were v foolish to pander to her. Tell her that, on reflection, you need her to behave like an adult and will need her room.

EeyoresTail Sun 20-Dec-15 19:07:09

Could the 9 year old go in with the 15 year old?

ilovesooty Sun 20-Dec-15 19:07:34

Perhaps your 21 year old needs to consider moving out if she wants to dictate like that.

Just tell them it's happening whether they like it or not.

atticusclaw2 Sun 20-Dec-15 19:08:29

Blimey. Tell your eldest daughter that she either shares with her sister or else she sleeps on the sofa! What a madam!

Nyancat Sun 20-Dec-15 19:09:37

I would tell your daughters to suck it up, if it's simply an objection to sharing for a few days your 21 year old in particular is being ridiculous.

BitOfFun Sun 20-Dec-15 19:09:58

Just change your mind. It is allowed. Why should your Christmas be spoiled by somebody else's selfishness?

kilmuir Sun 20-Dec-15 19:10:33

STOP being a doormat.
tell them what is happening. At 21 she is an adult, if she wants to sulk all holiday, let her.
Feel sorry for your partner

TotalConfucius Sun 20-Dec-15 19:11:16

I'd get the suitcases out of the loft and put them in the hall. When your grown woman of a daughter asks why the suitcases, explain that you and the two children are going to stay with/at a nearby hotel to your partner for Xmas.

livvylongpants Sun 20-Dec-15 19:11:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklycat Sun 20-Dec-15 19:12:24

21 and she's having a strip about sharing for a couple of nights?? Totally unreasonable. It's your house and at that age she should be living out of the home or paying you rent. If she was paying rent she might have some tiny cause to whinge (but shouldn't!) and if she is not the. Lay down the law and say it's your house so your rules. Or get her a tent for the garden.

Chewbecca Sun 20-Dec-15 19:12:30

Goodness me, is the decision reversible? Please reverse it.

Sparklycat Sun 20-Dec-15 19:12:45

Strop not strip!!

kilmuir Sun 20-Dec-15 19:13:08

and i have teenage daughters so know they need telling whats happening whether they like it or not sometimes!

BlueBlueBelles Sun 20-Dec-15 19:14:28

Either a. Put the 15 and 9 year old in together or b. Tell the 21 year old to grow the fuck up tbh.

Please tell your partner and his children to come. Do not be dictated to by your children. You're not asking for this to be a permanent arrangement. It's two to three nights at christmas. How much is the 21 yr old really going to be there?!

INeedNewShoes Sun 20-Dec-15 19:14:52

21! Unbelievable!

That is inexcusable behaviour from an adult (actually, in my view, from anyone of any age).

Giving in to this will has given your daughters all the information they need to know that if they whinge enough you will give in.

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