Assertiveness training for teenage DD

[OneHandFlapping]

DD is practically an adult, and so painfully lacking in self confidence that she is barely able to function in the adult world. For example, walking into a local deli to see if there was any work available drove her to tears.

I remember in my twenties that a women in management training course, which was mainly about assertiveness was massively helpful, and I wondered if anyone knew of anything which might help DD?

[Sparklingbrook]

Hi OneHand I am sorry I don't know a bout a course. But WRT the job, if she could have got over the hurdle of going on and asking would she have been able to do the job if offered?

I only ask as my DS was and sometimes still is lacking in confidence. there was no way he would go into places and ask about jobs so he emailed instead, and managed to get a job that way. Which in turn has done wonders for his confidence.

Good luck. It's soo hard isn't it?

[dodobookends]

Perhaps you could accompany her to the GP - it might be possible for her to have some counselling to help her confidence.

[OneHandFlapping]

You know I think the GP would laugh in our face. She really doesn't have a clinical problem - she is just a very shy introvert who needs to learn some skills to overcome her shyness. I was just the same at her age.

She is also a champion procrastinator (also from me) so she's missed online application after online application for jobs she would have liked.

Once she gets a job she will be OK, because she'll feel she's got to go and do it (and she really wants the money). She did go into the deli and do it, but has been beating herself up all day about the things she could have said better.

[SecretSquirr3ls]

I know exactly what you mean. It's something that would be a very useful course for many teens. DS1 has just done one at university, provided by the careers department. I don't know of anything like this laid on by schools or colleges.

[MNlurker]

Will be watching this thread as my DS suffers with very low confidence. He also doesn't take knockbacks very well at all. Best wishes for your DD

[lljkk]

Send 'em to martial arts classes. No I'm not joking. It teaches them to take on conflict. Quietly with great discipline.

But at 16+ they won't listen & you can't make them. What worked for me when I had zero confidence was taking jobs that I logically knew anyone could do. Dinner lady at the school, dog-walking, cleaning a friend's house, whatever.

[OneHandFlapping]

Tried that lljkk. We started karate training together. She gave up after a year or so (too boring and repetitive), and I went the distance and got my black belt.

[Sparklingbrook]

DS1 went to a taster lesson of Karate. Seemed keen but when it came to it he wouldn't go, he didn't want to spar if that's the right word with strangers. DH was really annoyed.