Mixed sleepover - Year 8

[Appleby39]

Hi there, my son is currently planning a day out in Jan over his birthday weekend whereby the plans include going into town with around 9 friends, shopping in the Jan sales. He is 12 but will be turning 13. All his friends are in year 8 so all around 12-13. We will car pool with another family to ensure they are dropped off in town and then picked up after. The plan is to shop a bit, have a meal, a bit more of a shop etc and then all come home to us where pizza and dvds will ensue. This has turned into wanting a sleepover, which i agreed too but am now thinking about the situation at hand. We are currently thinking of having the girls sleep in a different room, i.e upstairs in our guest room and leave the boys too it downstairs, just not sure how one can ensure that they don't just fall asleep downstairs before they get upstairs. How do i work it? Don't want to upset other parents either as they may only agree to it because of the separate sleeping arrangements. Never done anything like this before, nor have we met all the children so have no idea as to how they would behave. We have said that all those sleeping over would need to bring sleeping bags/pillows etc. Any help and advice on this would be most helpful. My son is so excited as he's never had a sleepover of his own, other than maybe when he was a lot younger and then it was only with 1. Ugh, what to do? Also, would you allow the kids to eat, sleep and drink in the tv room or would you suggest they eat at the table and then move into the tv room/lounge? Oh gosh, i need all the help and advice i can get haahaaa. Thanks

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

It's tricky isn't it.

People do this differently.

I would; let them all eat and drink in the tv room. ....have them sleep separately......tell DS if there is any behaviour issues or non following of the rules, it never happens again.

[Sparklycat]

Yea defiantly separate rooms or only say the boys can sleep over. I teach secondary and will not repeat some of the tales I have overheard but suffice to say parties will be kept a close eye on when mine hit secondary school!

[Socialaddict]

Most definitely separate sleeping arrangements, although if it was me, I'd only allow the boys to stay and the girls will have to be picked up say by midnight. Also, I would prefer them to eat at the table and then retire to to room with some popcorns( which is bad enough if you ask me). Good luck and keep a watchful eye on them.

[Travelledtheworld]

It's your house, your rules apply.
I agree separate rooms for boys and girls for sleeping, or send the girls home at 11pm.
Warn your son you want quiet after a certain time, (midnight?) and at that time go in and remind them of this and be prepared to unplug the TV at some point in the next hour. Some will want to stay up all night but some will want to go to sleep so it's better to set a TV off time.
Only let them eat in the living room if you don't mind pizza on the carpet.
And check to make sure no one has smuggled in vodka in a bottle of lemonade. This happens even at 12/13.

9 kids is a lot to fit in, you must have a big living room !

[Rascalls3]

I am mum to three, now almost all out of these tricky teenage years. I definitely recommend you send the girls home at 11/12. I have done this ( sent boys home) and it works very well. If you allow them to stay in separate rooms this time you are setting up a precedent for future years, which will be much more difficult to manage. In all likelihood one or two of the girl's mums will be happy to collect and host their own sleepover. Don't make your life more difficult than it needs to be!

[TheLesserSpottedBee]

Considering that in year 7, two children had sex, there is no way on earth I would have a mixed sleepover. My son is now in year 8.

There are far too many opportunities for sexual contact.

So I would be sending the girls home late and the boys could stay.

[JustDanceAddict]

I would send the girls home and let the boys stay too. Having one in year 7 and one in year 9 I can see what would happen, even if you do intend to separate. We didn't have mixed sleepovers after parties til year 10/11 and yes, things went on!!! Not sure I'd want those things going on for my two just yet.

[Appleby39]

Thank you ladies for your replies, they are very much appreciated. It is hard to know what to do when you inadvertently let slip that its okay without having really thought about it. Oh boy was i a dumb nut!!! AGGH! He's our only child and were still seeing him as a little-un where all this teen stuff just doesn't happen haahaaa....yeah right!!! Anyway, we have sat down and will continue to do so to discuss the situation until a plan is made where everyone is happy, primarily us and son of course. I have even shown son some of the replies on here so as to show him that we are not being mean or irrational and that we are trying to come up with a plan where no-one either misses out or can't come due to our decisions. The main problem area is that most of the children are at least a half hour drive away as son doesn't go to the local comp. Son is of course, bless him, doing his very best to assure us that none of his friends would mis-behave especially as its his own birthday that would be ruined and has suggested that the girls sleep upstairs in the guest room and use his bathroom up there, the boys would sleep downstairs and use the cloakroom down there....so no sleeping room or bathrooms would be shared at all. He's also mentioned the fact that us parents probably won't even sleep to ensure nothing happens haahaaa, cheeky monkey, even though he has a point haahaaa...still i would say never say never @_@ as some of you have rightly pointed out!!! Anyway that area of his day is still under discussion but at least the rest of it is coming on fine. Just ordered his birthday cake too. I have to say that this experience has opened my eyes and i'm glad too, as i do have to stop seeing my munchkin as a small child now but as a teen....sad but true...oh the joys heehee. Thank you all again though seriously xx

[notquiteruralbliss]

DDs have hosted / been to quite a few parties where a lot of people slept over from about age 11 or 12 (most recent one was about 8 boys and maybe 4 girls aged 16 to 18. They generally don't split off into single sex groups, preferring all sleep in one room. TBH I have never given it a second thought. Maybe because we are quite rural, so getting home late at night is difficult.

[ParochialE9]

I'm with notquite, mine have all hosted/attended mixed sleepovers (dd in particular had lots in years 7 and 8) with no problems whatsoever. I work with this age group and the vast majority of 11-13 year olds are not actually obsessed with sex and are can just be mates without an orgy happening as soon as the adults back is turned, which is what it seems most people on here expect to happen with a bunch of 12 year olds!!

[Hatethis22]

Raging hormones and camera phones. What could possibly go wrong ...

[rollonthesummer]

We've had two mixed sleepovers-in y8 and y9. All slept in the lounge. Good kids-no problems. No rudeness. Kids have all known each other since they were in reception and had numerous sleepovers.