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Trouble with teenage boy

(6 Posts)
Freya15 Tue 24-Nov-15 21:53:00

How do I contend with my teenage son who has little to no respect for myself or anyone else for that matter?
Only time he's anyway polite is when he's getting his own way.
I'm a single mum, I've not been soft with him. I've tried to guide him on the right track. But living with him recently has been a complete nightmare. His attitude and behaviour is terrible.
I have tried grounding him, sitting down and talking to him. Nothing seems to help our situation.
Can't help but feel I've gone wrong somewhere.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

BackforGood Thu 26-Nov-15 21:01:51

I think there are many, many many teens who go through a stage like this.
First, don't try to take it personally.
Second, have a browse thouhh some of the older threads in 'teenagers' - there are loads and loads that go through difficult patches and do come out the other side.
I've never been one for parenting guides, but I did like 'Get Out of my Life but first take me and Alex into Town' and found it very helpful.

Jinsky Thu 26-Nov-15 21:03:14

Apart from the single mum part, this could be my post. I feel your pain and frustration.Not much advice to give but this is how I deal with it - I just keep saying that his behaviour is not ok, withdraw favours such as ironing and lifts, reinstate them when behaviour improves, allow as much freedom as I see fit and pick my battles very carefully. The battles I choose to pick are ds letting me know when he is going to be later home than arranged and treating me with a certain level of basic friendliness, even if he seems to hate me at the moment. I also tell him that I love him but not his behaviour and he is entitled to his negative feelings about me but seeing as we live in the same house, he should treat me as he would like to be treated ie with some respect. Doesn't always work (recently not at all) but I will never give up trying.
There is a thread somewhere on teenagers about teenagers turning into lovely adults - cheered me up. I see my son not as a very hungry caterpillar (remember that book?) but as a very angry teenager who one day builds a coccoon around himself and when he comes out is not a beautiful butterfly but a beautiful adult.
Stay strong!

Jinsky Thu 26-Nov-15 21:04:56

The book backforgood mentioned is worth buying!

BackforGood Thu 26-Nov-15 21:12:15

That's a good analogy Jinsky - about the coccoon.

Also agree about picking the battles, about really noticing the good things and focusing on them as much as you can.

Jinsky Thu 26-Nov-15 21:23:28

Tell me a Happy Ending to raising teenagers.17
This is the thread I mentioned.

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