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Advice about dd19

(6 Posts)
ClareDeLune Tue 24-Nov-15 07:42:38

My dd has recently got together with a man who is her first "proper" boyfriend. Since then, she's dumped us as a family, stays over at his three times a week, goes out with him every night etc. She's dumped her friends too.

I've gone out of my way to welcome him into our family but in four months, I've met him three times. He's welcome to stay here, they can socialise here etc but when I broach this with her, she says "yeah yeah" and he never materialises. I really have tried hard to include him (even inviting for Xmas day!) but she isn't keen for him to be part of our family.

I can't help thinking he and his parents know more about my dd than we do at the moment - I know nothing of her life now as she shares very little, especially with regard to this man.

Advice wise people - is this just a phase and will she come back to us? I'm inclined to hope/think it is a phase!

PurpleWithRed Tue 24-Nov-15 07:49:54

She's 19 and she's moved on a stage with this relationship. I'd recommend playing it cool - treat her like she's moved in with him. Invite them together to yours for a family meal, or arrange to meet her for a quick coffee for a catchup.

titchy Tue 24-Nov-15 08:36:34

Blimey she's only been with him 4 months and you're inviting him for Christmas!!!! Bit intense there op I think....

mumslife Tue 24-Nov-15 17:14:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumslife Tue 24-Nov-15 17:17:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClareDeLune Tue 24-Nov-15 22:15:49

Thanks for the replies. Uninvited him for Xmas because I thought she was making noises about going there, so thought I'd put a marker down saying we'd really like her here with the rest of the family and if that meant D too, then he was welcome. I'd far rather him not come tbh!

She has changed a lot since meeting him - doesn't go out with her friends any more, it seems like her life has shrunk a lot. Before she was outgoing, had loads of mates and went out a lot. Now she only sees D plus occasionally his mate and mate's GF. That shrinkage of her life included her family too.

Really I was concerned that it was all a bit intense and that eventually she'd be a bit more normal.

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