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Irrational fear of teenage daughter

(4 Posts)
Joannaelise Tue 10-Nov-15 23:11:59

I have a 17 year old daughter. Since birth she has been a very difficult child. Cried non stop, very clingy and very insecured. I used to shower and go to toilet with her sitting next to me.... I have to stop woking to look after her fully. Lately, she started to have irrational fear of dirtiness. If her book touches the floor, it will be treated as dirty and will be left at a separate corner. And if I accidentally put her other things with the so called dirty book, she will be very angry and throw her things to the dustbin. But normally, she is very untidy and sleep with her school uniform on without shower and changing. I am at a loss at what to do. I do like to clean up her room as it is always very messy.

librarypictures Fri 13-Nov-15 22:36:55

Watching with interest as this could have been written about my DD (13).
Initially CAMHS thought it was OCD and went down the CBT route but this just made my daughter worse - really anxious and stressed.
DD is currently in limbo while they decide what route to take - ASD / autism / aspergers or psychiatrist / anxiety / PTSD (DD was 10 when her grandad died and it was v. distressing cancer / alzheimers). We have filled out social and communication questionnaires, as have school, and once assessed this will define which way they go.
DDs behaviours seem to be escalating at a worrying rate, virtually daily more things become contaminated or have to be avoided. The meltdowns are monumental when items are contaminated or if dd has to go near items that have been contaminated.

Joannaelise Tue 17-Nov-15 13:25:20

Thank you for sharing, I feel I am not the lone soul facing this issue. My DD is now 16, and we just moved from Singapore to UK recently hoping for a change to lifestyle will help her. Education in Singapore was very demanding and stressful for her. DD seems to be awared of her own problem but she just can't control it. I am not sure what is the appropraie course to take now, I suggested to her we should go to see a GP but she refused. She is socially awkard and throughout her secondary school, she has no friend and constantly bullied by peers due to her inability to socialise. But in England, she seems to be mixing better and not being bullied so far.

Northernsoul58 Wed 18-Nov-15 09:26:39

Don't have experience of this but it sounds like your daughter could be a Highly Sensitive. Try reading Elaine Aron's The Highly Sensitive Child (not the HS Person).
Take this test
I would reassure her that it is normal for people under stress to have these irrational fears and there is nothing wrong with her (ie she's not going mad!). But that perhaps she needs to talk more about what she feels around the time this fear kicks in. A bit of self-analysis, if she's capable. Use the 'stop and think' principle.

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