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Demotivated gap year teen

(5 Posts)
Allfurcoatandnoknickers Wed 07-Oct-15 12:42:48

Just wondered if anyone else had been in this situation - if so, advice would be appreciated.

My son is 18 and is having a gap year starting at Uni next year. The idea is to go travelling after Christmas. He has savings that we saved for him over the years, which mostly he will use towards fees at Uni, but before he does anything we want him to get a temporary job to get some of his own earned money so he doesn't just rely on us.

He's making little attempt to find a job, and obviously to get temp Christmas jobs now is the time he needs to do it. I broach the subject in many ways- calmly, angrily, desperately (!) but nothing seems to motivate him into doing anything. He gets up late, prats about on his xbox/laptop, walks the dog, more xbox and that's it. I work from home so see more of what he doesn't do than I would if I was out of the house - I am so frustrated!!!

I don't want him to waste his year off - this is his choice to have the gap year, and I support it wholeheartedly IF he does something. He won't be getting a penny of his savings until he shows he can work. He does have a small part time job (around 4 hours a week) but clearly that doesn't pay very much.

Advice please! Which approach works best??

FernieB Wed 07-Oct-15 13:20:50

Turn off the Internet and change the password. Start charging him board - he's not in education at the moment so he can pay for his keep. Presumably, he needs you to fund some of his travelling? Tell him that won't happen unless he earns some money himself first.

FernieB Wed 07-Oct-15 13:22:44

Or, tell him that as he's at home and not working, he can be responsible for the housework, cooking, laundry etc - all unpaid of course. And make him get on with it. He may prefer to find paid work than clean your bathroom.

Allfurcoatandnoknickers Wed 07-Oct-15 14:07:37

He does do some housework, dog walking, cooking etc., all unpaid -
I think his ears must be burning as he's just applied for a job! Absolutely no way he's getting any funding until he starts earning his own money!

BabyGanoush Wed 07-Oct-15 14:17:36

He needs motivation.

If you cook for him, do his washing and give him money, then why should he do anything?

Am so not letting my DC have gap years grin unless they pay for it themselves! (Please remind me in 4 yrs wink)

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