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Is your 13 year old Ds an inside or outside boy?

(19 Posts)
Needaglassofwinedotcom Sun 13-Sep-15 22:39:28

My Ds is a quiet boy, he has a group of friends at school but none close by, he is happy inside on his pc/ps gaming with friends or programming/gaming on his own. Doesn't want to play out. He's happy, but I wonder if I should insist on him going out.

I invite his mates over and they play fine.

Who else has 'mancave' boys?!

BackforGood Sun 13-Sep-15 22:45:26

By 13, they don't tend to "play out" as such.
When my ds was that age, he did a lot outside, but it was organised stuff like Scouts / camping/ climbing / kayaking / etc. Not many 13 yr olds have the organisational skills to arrange to meet their mates in the park for a game of footie or whatever, IME.

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sun 13-Sep-15 22:46:45

He's never been into scouts, always been a happy at home kid

MabelSideswipe Sun 13-Sep-15 22:53:20

Mine is very much an inside one. He prefers lurking in his bedroom with his curtains closed. Weirdo!

BackforGood Sun 13-Sep-15 22:54:05

....and that's fine, but you asked if you should insist on him going out. My question is, where would he go out, to ? At 13, IME, lads tend to either stay in, or go out to something that's organised - maybe playing in a sports team or something, they don't tend to just "go out", as they do when quite a bit older, unles they are skaters and you have a skate park nearby.

Needaglassofwinedotcom Sun 13-Sep-15 23:01:38

Thanks all. He's not into sports. There is a skate park nearby, but he's not into that either. Asking as my I have 3 step kids (7, 20, 15) and they're always out. I'm find with mine being in, i guess its just highlighted as the sks are out iyswim

Thumbcat Sun 13-Sep-15 23:08:27

Mine is only 7 but is very much an indoor boy. No Saturday morning footie for us. I turf him out into the sunshine now and again to prevent rickets grin

angelcake20 Mon 14-Sep-15 00:59:25

Mine is 13 next month. He loves being inside, doesn't play football and has few local friends. He's very sporty so does lots of organised stuff outside but has hardly ever "played out" except in the garden with Dd. Some of his peers from primary (he's gone to a different secondary) do seem to spend a lot of time hanging around on their bikes.

CremeEggThief Mon 14-Sep-15 01:12:50

Mine is 13 later this month and very much an inside boy. He needs to have a reason to go out. He does like Scouts though, but isn't at all sporty.

Todayisnottheday Mon 14-Sep-15 02:14:29

Mine was always outside as he had horses but turning 13 seemed to flick a switch. He goes off to town and mates houses but definitely prefers his cave (or pit as it is here) he still comes to my horses some days but is very much fair weather. I think it's normal for boys who aren't into the team sport kick around thing.

Travelledtheworld Mon 14-Sep-15 02:44:43

Another one here with a teenage son who spends all day inside with the curtains closed. I do not think it is good for his health he does need fresh air and sunshine, when there is any. I occasionally insist he helps me with some gardening just to get him off the sofa.

Needaglassofwinedotcom Mon 14-Sep-15 21:36:24

Thanks all, glad I'm not on my own. When they're in ard you happy for them to do their own thing in their rooms, gaming, tv etc or do you insist on breaks?

wannabestressfree Mon 14-Sep-15 21:41:57

I have three boys,one outsider and two in smile I definately make them have a break on games etc. No more than an hour at a time and I do 'find' the youngest something to do that requires him going outside.

Sparklingbrook Mon 14-Sep-15 21:48:30

Ds is 13 and very much an outside boy. We hardly saw him over the summer. He was usually to be found at the playing fields or at the park. He would catch the train with friends to town and go shopping or Nandos/cinema. Loads of sleepovers.

He does like his bed though and had a lot of lie ins and spent time online on the PS4.

Ludways Mon 14-Sep-15 21:49:30

For the most he's indoor but he does play two sports, once they're done he's back indoors, no hanging about.

DramaAlpaca Mon 14-Sep-15 21:51:20

All three of mine were inside boys at that age. I just used to let them do their own thing, but I did insist they took breaks from screens regularly. If it helps, they've all become more sociable as they've got older.

weaselwords Mon 14-Sep-15 22:24:35

Mine is a creature of extremes and is either out for days at a time, up a tree or in with his headphones on, killing things on screens. He seems happy enough.

myotherusernameisbetter Mon 14-Sep-15 23:06:55

I have 15 and 14 year olds but they have been the same for the past few years. They do outdoor stuff at Scouts and are doing dofe as well, but otherwise their entire social life is on-line gaming with friends from school. None really nearby for seeing in reality and if they do meet with friends, its usually them coming to ours.

our limits are that during the week, they can go on when they get home from school, but we generally eat at 5 ish so homework is done after dinner and then they are free to go on on nights they are not out at an activity or go on until it's time to go to the activity.

Weekends they get up and go straight on screen. I chuck tem off before lunch and the rule is they aren't allowed back on until after dinner so have to occupy themselves for the afternoon. they do homework, read books etc. They also need to get fresh air and exercise at some point. generally they will take a pound or too and scooter up to the shop and park for an hour or so. Better than nothing...

The advantage of a stay at home child is that as long as you are monitoring what they are doing on-line, they are safe at home and you know what they are up to.

disadvantage is that social skills are clearly lacking!

elephantoverthehill Mon 14-Sep-15 23:16:11

If it is any help my 13 yo was feral during the summer. Now the weather is getting worse I am beginning to worry slightly about screen time. But he announced he was going to play football tonight and he will be at rugby on Sunday. Just as you think you have a young person sussed they go in a completely different direction is my experience.

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