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money + 16 year old please help

(15 Posts)
twinkle1983 Fri 11-Sep-15 21:13:54

Just want to start by saying Hi! And I've literally just joined to ask for some advice, I will try to keep this as short as possible smile
I have a difficult 16 year old daughter she's not naughty in the sense of staying out late drinking ect she's actually doing very well just started college also has a job and for this I'm really proud of her but I also try to teach my children the value of money and that they just can't have everything they want! My dd earns typically £500 pm I don't touch a penny of this at all its all hers but I do keep her child tax credits this is around £30 pw and also £20 maintenance pw so basically this £50 per week is her rent that covers everything apart from clothes. She thinks she deserves this as her money basically I should give this to her! As well as buy her clothes. Do you think what I'm doing is wrong is she right she causes me so much stress and makes me feel like an awful mum sad TIA

tootiredtothink Fri 11-Sep-15 22:10:06

I think you're right. That £50 is yours to feed and clothe're certainly not making a profit from her.

I certainly wouldn't dream of taking housekeeping at that age, however, she would be buying more of her own clothes and paying her own way when going out with friends.

And if she persists in being so bloody cheeky by asking for that money I'd write out the true cost of her food/electric/gas/toiletries/clothes etc and explain that she'll be paying for everything if you're no longer getting maintenance to help towards the costs.

3catsandcounting Sat 12-Sep-15 09:37:48

She earns £500 a month, and wants more?? What does a 16 year-old spend that amount on?
And I agree with tootired; it's not her money, it's your money in order to support her! (otherwise my 2 would be claiming years of Child Benefit as their own!!)

titchy Sat 12-Sep-15 14:56:23

Dear god no don't give her that as well. £500 a month is a massive amount of money if she has no outgoings. My year 12 get £50 a month from us, earns about £100 a month and is expected to use that for everything except food and bus fare.

BeautifulBatman Sat 12-Sep-15 14:59:30

Tell her she can have the ctc & cm. Then tell her she has to pay a third of her wages as keep. See how she likes it then. Cheeky moo.

AyeAmarok Sat 12-Sep-15 15:17:18

OP keep the CTC and maintenance, as a PP said that is the money that is supposed to put a roof over her head and feed her, which is what you are doing.

500pm is a LOT of money for a 16 year old.

twinkle1983 Sat 12-Sep-15 15:43:05

Thank you for all your replies! She just doesn't see how much she is getting I've sat with her worked out the household expenditures rent council tax food sky Internet gas electric water ect it totals 1500 pm so I said have what I get for you but your contribution will be 500 pm she just laughed at me! She only has to get her clothes everything else is paid for even the college pay for her bus pass. I also have 2 younger children 7 and 2 the 2yo needed shoes the other week which I got and I had 2 days of "well you buy them stuff not me" we have never had the greatest relationship I try my hardest it just never seems good enough she makes me doubt myself constantly maybe I should show her this to see if other people's opinions will make any difference?
Thanks again smile

twinkle1983 Sat 12-Sep-15 15:44:16

Oh she literally spends her money on rubbish clothes that don't fit 2 phones in 2 months she wastes it all :0/

peggyundercrackers Sat 12-Sep-15 16:21:25

I wouldn't give her the money, it's not hers - it is given to you to keep a roof over her head. I wouldn't have an issue about her spending her money - it's what it's there for and at her age she shouldn't have to worry about what she spends money on, that will come soon enough.

peggyundercrackers Sat 12-Sep-15 16:23:03

I also wouldn't be doubting myself over what a teenager says to me - she's young and doesn't really understand the way of the world and is obviously a bit naive and a bit of a chancer smile

calamityjam Sat 12-Sep-15 16:26:33

I give dsd 17 her child benefit £20 a week standing order into her bank but I no longer buy her clothes. I do buy toiletries and food but clothes she pays for herself

BackforGood Sun 13-Sep-15 15:24:31

The tax credits/maintenance / Child benefit etc is for her keep - food, utilities, roof over her head, type thing. Of course you are right.

I'm just wondering, what on earth the job is that she is doing, around college, as a 16 yr old , to earn £500 per month ????

icouldjusteatacroissant Mon 14-Sep-15 22:10:35

500 a month! Wow. I would be insisting she saved a good wedge of that. She'll be wanting driving lessons and a car soon! She should be learning how to budget.

twinkle1983 Mon 14-Sep-15 22:39:42

I no! Wish I had that much to myself each month! Lol
She works at McDonald's general take home is 120-125 each week paid fortnightly she does put some hours in as well as college now and I am really proud of her doing this! But then she ruins it and let's her mouth run away. I'm really hoping this is just a phase, there's always hope right ??

icouldjusteatacroissant Tue 15-Sep-15 08:51:30

at least she's working, mine is a lazy little twat.

it is most definitely a phase yes! they apparently become human again eventually!

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