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Does all this conflict have a long term impact upon your relationships?

(10 Posts)
slippersmum Mon 27-Jul-15 20:01:33

Just wondering really. I have a very fraught relationship with my dd and of course I love her but I do spend alot of my time avoiding her as I know there will just be conflict. Its made me feel very anxious and I have started taking some anti anxiety medication to help. Is this a phase or will these years linger with me? Some mornings I wake up with a feeling of dread about what lies ahead. Maybe its just me?

AnthonyPandy Mon 27-Jul-15 20:34:04

I'd like to know the answer to this too. Depressing, isn't it?

slippersmum Mon 27-Jul-15 21:23:05

It certainly is!!

scatterthenuns Tue 04-Aug-15 21:48:12

There is no answer.. just as you don't get on with all the people you meet, there is no guarantee of a friendship with your adult DCs. Sad, but true. Hundreds of posts on here about MNrs with distant/poor relationships with their parents.

Do you have any shared interests you could bond over to improve your relationship?

hesterton Tue 04-Aug-15 21:51:20

Keep believing in them and keep telling them you believe they are smart and wonderful enough to find the best things for themselves on the long run. Keep handing back their issues to them , more and more as they get older, with a kind smile and a ton of (faked if need be) faith in them. Be solid and there for them but don't own their issues.

The rewards are multiple in the long run.

Mrsjayy Wed 05-Aug-15 11:06:36

My eldest is 22 and she was a moody mare as a teenager walked on constant eggshells around her we get on great now i said to her recently god you were a suly bugger at 15 she said i was just mysterious hmm hang in there it takes time but you get there. Dd2 is a different personality and never really had any fallouts with her

Mrsjayy Wed 05-Aug-15 11:11:24

I meant sulky anyway i used to say things like Im not sure why you spoke to me like that or i dont speak to you in that way not sure i deserve your lip it sort of stopped her and made her think till the next time obviously but it difussed a lot.

YeOldeTrout Wed 05-Aug-15 11:13:59

You have to work hard to enjoy the good moments even though they drive you so crazy much of the rest of the time.

Mrsjayy Wed 05-Aug-15 11:22:05

Thing is whatever you do will never please them they will always find something to be annoyed /angry about I stopped trying for a while

sillygiraffe Wed 05-Aug-15 18:38:04

I have a very odd relationship with dd at the moment. We are trying to be polite to each other but I feel like I am treading on eggshells and have to think carefully about everything I say so I don't "offend" her and start another strop. At least I am in good company here.

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