Do I let her hibernate at home or come up with che cheap idea to go out?(11 Posts)
DD is 14 and finished school on Friday. Saw friends Friday, Saturday & Sunday, as well as going to a sport club she belongs to.
Mon, Tues & Wed all she has done is hibernate at home playing music, reading and craft - she seems happy enough. Yesterday we played a game and she went out after tea on a bike ride. She's been chatting to and messaging friends about nothing in particular, but has made no plans to see them, so nothing else planned for rest of week. Would you try and do anything with her? I'm happy to, but we really haven't got much money right now so it's thinking of something that'll interest her but hardly costs anything.
Trip to shops, let her pick menu and help cook it?
Baking, teach her how to make bread, scones etc.
My DD is 13 starfish, and I'm finding this age really hard going - she gets up at about 11am, and takes another couple of hours to get dressed, eat breakfast etc....
If your DD likes playing music, would she join a music group? If she likes reading, how about the library?
My DDs favourite thing at the moment is going to Costa Coffee, and we have one in the town we live in, and as DH has the car for work, we walk/bike down to Costa which is an incentive to get her out of her bedroom if I'm paying. Not ideal, but working at the moment, and not too expensive.
I think when they have just finished school they really relish not having to rush off and do anything much. I know when i have time off work i sometimes just want to chill for a bit. As the weeks go in she will probably start to get a bit bored and want to do more. Give her a break this week.
I think leave her be - if and when she has the need for more social contact, presumably she'll make the effort. Mine always start the holidays in hibernation mode - I think they're just exhausted.
Is their any way your DD can earn a bit of money? I'm hoping that I've got some babysitting work for my DD soon. Also she helps wash the car and do some gardening for a bit of cash, gets her out of her pit!
My DD (13) doesn't engage much with me, or do much either, but will enjoy a game of cards. I have started saving all loose change so we have a float for betting games as well ( that will even encourage DS out if his pit as well ! ). I remember as I child my parents would just use matchsticks ! I suppose you could use sweets instead.
I agree that this is a difficult age and I am trying not to expect too much. My DS asked me the other day ( in a rare moment of communication ) what I did in my school holidays. I grew up very rurally and I did casual jobs when I was 15/16, but when I was 13/14, I don't really think I did anything other than read, take dog for a walk, and see friends/ to town once a week. I think maybe our expectations are higher now and we all feel we should be doing more, maybe because more is available.
Poor thing is only three days into her school holiday, I would give her a bit of time to unwind.
I found that from this age onwards I missed the old school holidays when we all did stuff together every day. They don't need entertaining any more and you don't really want them to tag along unwillingly. I used to ask them for ideas for a couple of big days out (Go Karting / theme park) which they could look forward to but otherwise leave them to it.
DD is the same. She is 15 and has had a very stressful year 10, including taking 2 GCSEs. She finished on Friday and needed this week to wind down. We are on holiday and getting her to get up to do something or go somewhere is a major work of art.
I think you should let her chill this week personally - I remember needing to at that age and my father stamping into my room shouting at me to "haul your carcass out of your pit" at 8.30am and objecting if I was sitting about reading... My eldest is only 10 but already she sometimes needs a few days doing absolutely nothing during the holidays.
Give her a week to hibernate then encourage her to do more next week.
Thanks everyone. She's up and planning to write a story of all things - at least I can't complain she's on the computer or mobile too much! Maybe I'll take her lead this week. I've got to go shopping later so I'll see if she wants to come though. I'm cooking one of her favourite meals tonight, so might ask if she wants to do it with me so perhaps she can have it more often if she knows what to do! Also, I'll suggest another game sometime and a bike ride which she does enjoy if she's in the mood.
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