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13 year old lost all interest in extra curricular activities/hobbies

(3 Posts)
Aretha16 Mon 13-Jul-15 15:56:56

Hi, up until around a year ago my 13 year old daughter was passionate about the performing arts, doing dance and drama 3 times a week, performing in musicals and basically grabbing any opportunity to be involved. As a result we sent her to the local academy that has performing arts status and has 25 places per year for selective students in dance, drama and music of which she is one. However in the last year or so she has lost her enthusiasm for it all; she asked to give up her dance classes at the beginning of the year as wasn't enjoying it and wasn't getting on with her dance teacher. We let her do this on the condition that it was replaced with something else. However I am struggling to find something she is enthusiastic about, she isn't interested in the many arts opportunities the school offers and doesn't seem to want to do anything. I think there are some issues here around her current friends not being involved in these activities, it not being 'cool' and also a lack of confidence - at her primary school she was always one of the best singers/dancers/actors but obviously this changes in secondary school where there are lots of talented kids. My question is how far to push this, should I let her have time out to find a new interest or force her to do something she says she doesn't enjoy in the hope that she will grow to. At home she is constantly on the piano, singing, dancing etc but doesn't want to engage with any formal activities or groups. I am a firm believer in kids having outside interests such as arts, sports etc as think they offer skills that pure academic learning doesn't and opportunities for new friendships but I really don't know what to do for the best here. My husband and I have had many discussions about this with my daughter but with no positive outcome. Advice please!!

cdtaylornats Tue 14-Jul-15 10:41:19

Something like judo or taekwando might interest her. Same kind of movement skills as dance but different group of people

ladymalfoy Tue 14-Jul-15 10:50:19

Have the group dynamics changed at her clubs?
As someone who has run drama clubs in and out of school id suggest you have a little chat about any new starters.
It might be a 'tall poppy' moment and she's being bullied or pressurised by other children to give up because she's gained so much from her extra curricular experience.
I experienced this but just thought to hell with it and carried on.
I hope she regains her enthusiasm. thanks

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