Thinking back to when I was a teenager, I remember vividly that I was always happy to do chores and be helpful, on one condition: that I was asked in a neutral manner which befitted an adult. (As a teenager, and even as a child, I valued every bit of independence I had: I longed to be an adult, and now that I am one, I am in a very happy place indeed, even at the age of 35. After I was at university, I moved back in with my parents for a few months, and found the resulting loss of independence very hard indeed.)
Whenever my mum used a voice which was at all naggy, or whiny, overly concerned, or sounded like she was addressing a naughty child or disobedient dog, I remember I used to resist fiercely whatever she was asking me to do; or if she asked me about my school day, or homework, or test results while sounding or looking worried, I remember refusing to say anything. But I was always happy to answer if the question was asked in a neutral tone. (I do realise now this wasn't easy for her; sometimes she used to get other members of the family to ask me important questions, as I think she found it difficult to keep emotion out of her voice. Bless her.)
I'm just wondering how normal this is. Do you have a teen who insists on being talked to as an adult (deservedly or otherwise), or do you remember being like this yourself?
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Teenagers
"It's not WHAT you say, mum, it's the WAY you say it."
6 replies
wanderings · 09/07/2015 10:51
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