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Should I have told my 14 yr old about smear test ?

(41 Posts)
Debbieandeva Thu 25-Jun-15 06:37:06

Good morning all smile, just a quick question as I have a social worker question me on the fact that I have told my 14 year old daughter about smear tests and how important they are , said social worker seemed to think I had done a terrible thing ?? And I was wrong to have told my daughter at all ?, the reason I had told my daughter about smear test is that she was having the HPV vaccine and that she would still have to have the test done when she gets older , do you think I have done the wrong thing as I believe teenage girls should be educated about this now as maybe it will prevent them from getting full blown cervical cancer , any way I would like your views as now I feel like I have been a bad mother telling my daughter this .

Skiingmaniac Thu 25-Jun-15 06:40:38

Your telling your daughter about something so important is sensible and highly suitable. Shocked at social worker thinking otherwise! confused

Sparklingbrook Thu 25-Jun-15 06:41:11

Did the SW say why this was so terrible? How did it come up in conversation?

bakingtins Thu 25-Jun-15 06:43:27

Of course you weren't unreasonable! It came up n the context of discussing her HPV vaccine and it was completely age appropriate to tell her. I can't think why the SW thought it was wrong??

Loveleopardprint Thu 25-Jun-15 06:44:14

I would tell both of my teenage daughters (15 and 12) about smear tests if the subject came up. I don't see any problem with that at all. You are a sensible mother not a bad one!!

GlitzAndGigglesx Thu 25-Jun-15 06:51:11

I don't think 14 is too young at all. At 14 the majority are aware of some other types of cancer so why not this too and how it's carried out?

anotherdayanothersquabble Thu 25-Jun-15 06:56:23

SW is crazy. Your daughter is expected to make informed consent about the HPV vaccine. In order for her to make informed consent, she needs all of the facts about it. Smear tests are very relevant to a discussion about a vaccine which is targeted against cervical cancer.

Debbieandeva Thu 25-Jun-15 07:03:42

This is what I thought too so thank you for sharing the same view as me smile

Nolim Thu 25-Jun-15 07:07:57

Why would be a terrible thing to share factual health information??

Sparklingbrook Thu 25-Jun-15 07:08:45

I was wondering how it came up in conversation with the SW.

McFarts Thu 25-Jun-15 07:11:03

My 12yo Y7 daughter has just learnt about smear tests at school! the SW indeed sounds crazy.

Groovee Thu 25-Jun-15 07:12:52

The more awareness teens have of tests like these, should hopefully help then realise they are important and to go. Why did the social worker find out and question you about it?

Finola1step Thu 25-Jun-15 07:14:26

I opened this thread expecting to see a "my DD wants to know why I went for a smear test, how much should I tell her?". I was all ready to post that you should tell her why they are so important, that its a routine, regular check that all women should have etc etc. I am gobsmacked that a social worker thinks you shouldn't tell a 14 year old about smear tests.

ludovica Thu 25-Jun-15 07:14:48

I can't understand this at all. Was the social worker involved already or did they become involved as a result of you talking to your daughter about smear tests? Presumably a 14 year old would know what a smear test is and why they have to be done anyway, without you telling her. They are in the news quite regularly. I know I certainly knew all about them by that age and my mother would never have discussed them with me.

FWIW I think you are quite right to be open with your daughter and answer any questions she may have.

meglet Thu 25-Jun-15 07:18:11

of course a 14 yo should know about smear tests. (Not a parent of a teen but veteran of smear tests)

nooka Thu 25-Jun-15 07:28:04

Weird. I have a 14 year old and would have no issue about telling her about smear tests, makes total sense in the context f having her HPV vaccinations. I think I probably told her a year or so ago when I had my last smear test. She recently decided to join a big research project on the HPV vaccine that involves her doing a self swab every year and had no problem with the idea (she signed up on her own).

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Debbieandeva Thu 25-Jun-15 07:49:47

We are going through a parenting assessment at the moment with social services , I won't go into detail but one of the questions I was asked was about sex education of my daughter and told them that I had told her all about it and then I told them that myself and my daughter had had a frank conversation about sexual diseases and the HPV and what it's for and smear testing , but I think social worker thinks it is inappropriate to talk about this to my child at her age !?? I was pretty shocked that they would object so badly to something so very important?? She really made me feel like a really terrible mother for doing such a thing ?.

ludovica Thu 25-Jun-15 07:54:41

It is completely appropriate to talk to a child that age about these things. The social worker is barking mad. In less than two years your daughter will reach the age of consent and she needs to know about these things well before she has sex.

MamanOfThree Thu 25-Jun-15 08:01:12

Well actually, she could well have sex alreadt at that age.
And I beliieve that, in that case, SW think it's good to talk about sexually transmitted disease, how to avoid pg and how to protect yourself confused

Bakeoffcake Thu 25-Jun-15 08:03:57

you did exactly the right thing. I expect lots of mums have been talking to their DDs about this. They have the HPV injection so it's bound to come up.

The SW sounds rather mad to me.

sooperdooper Thu 25-Jun-15 08:05:29

The SW is bonkers, I think smear tests should be part of learning about sexual health and 14 is an entirely appropriate age to tell your dd about what they're for and why it's important to have them

BertrandRussell Thu 25-Jun-15 08:06:00

"She really made me feel like a really terrible mother for doing such a thing"

What did she actually say?

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 Thu 25-Jun-15 08:06:54

I can't even begin to imagine why sw would have a problem with this. Sounds fine to me and laudable in fact that you will talk to her about things like this a lot of parents don't.

bloodyteenagers Thu 25-Jun-15 08:13:04

That Sw would hate us.
We talk about sex, sti's, contraception, different relationships, checking your boobs, bowel movements, smears, urine and a million other body and relationship stuff.
I would rather my kids get this info from me than from their mates.

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