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How to motivate ds

(6 Posts)
Everythingzrosie Sat 20-Jun-15 12:32:34

17, quit his apprenticeship, has a zero hour contract with a supermarket and hasn't worked for two weeks and says he is applying for jobs (he is doing so as he has had some interviews)

How do I go about helping without nagging? Or do I just let him get on with it? He has no money and has asked a couple of times for 'a few quid'.

mopthefloorwithme Sun 21-Jun-15 07:35:44

Dunno, I think, ideally the best way to help is to step back and let him suffer the consequences of quitting his apprenticeship, but it's so hard to do that isn't it?

His motivation, I guess, will come from the need for money! Rather than just give him a few quid can you make him earn it by doing something around the house? Not just his usual chores but a specific job like painting a room?

Everythingzrosie Sun 21-Jun-15 08:21:12

Thanks for your reply mopthefloorwithme. He helped his dad put up a wardrobe last weekend and it took them a good few hours. His dad gave him a tenner for that. He mowed the lawn for me in the week, I gave him £3.50 (that was all the cash I had in my purse). I know he was very unhappy in his apprenticeship but I am gutted he gave it up. I just hope he finds something he really wants to do and is happy. I just don't want him getting stuck in a rut.

Newtobecomingamum Sun 21-Jun-15 10:55:24

Hi, what about seeking advice from a careers advisor. If you contact your local council they will provide you with details of local agencies/organisations that help under 18's with careers choices, have details of other apprenticeships, jobs, courses, volunteering opportunities etc... He could even get a mentor ( someone a few years older than him) to help support him finding his way.

Best of luck

mistymeanour Sun 21-Jun-15 20:54:42

He could probably get some income based job seeker's allowance despite having a zero hours contract (the DWP encourage my DD to apply for zero hours job based on that). That could help financially a bit, but the motivation bit is difficult - he needs to want to help himself. Is he under 19 ? would he consider going back to college to do a vocational course (plumbing, catering etc) or taking A levels? What things does he like to do - how could he turn that into a career, what qualifications would he need?

Everythingzrosie Mon 22-Jun-15 13:17:59

Thank you-your replies have been helpful. I have emailed a local careers advise centre and am awaiting a reply. It's so difficult-he seems so lost. I try to help but he brushes me off saying 'I'm sorting it'. I also gave him the income support phone number as I'm not sure he can get JS until 18? Income support he can get from age 16 but it changes so often it's hard to keep up.

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