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Dd about to get fired do I interfere?

(20 Posts)
Deckthehallswithdesperation Wed 17-Jun-15 18:33:35

Just had a call from my 17yo dd telling me she's heard on the jungle drums she's about to be fired from her part-time job. She swears blind she's done nothing wrong & that there's a culture of bullying at her work. I'm wondering if there's more to it than she's letting on? She's really pissed. This job also involves her favourite hobby so the impact of her losing it could be far reaching. Do I get involved or let her clock up some life experience? She's a good kid & popular, I can't imagine what's gone wrong.

Nightboattocairo Wed 17-Jun-15 18:37:37

She is virtually an adult so I think you must let her sort this one out. She will only be telling you her side of the story, too.

Floggingmolly Wed 17-Jun-15 18:40:35

What can you realistically do that will have any impact in what happens that she can't do for herself?

Humansatnav Wed 17-Jun-15 18:43:23


Outofthewoodwork Wed 17-Jun-15 18:43:51

If she is fired she should calmly ask for the reason why and the evidence that this is the case. She should also question why any problems gad not been raised previously and why she had not been given a chance to rectify the situation. It is likely they will pay no attention to her concerns but if she has a proper contract and has been working there a while they should have followed proper procedures. I suspect whatever happens, an intervention from you could cause more harm than good.

TheFairyCaravan Wed 17-Jun-15 18:46:43

I remember a colleague's father phoning the dentist we both worked for when she was 17 because he thought she wasn't being treated fairly. (She was) It really, really didn't go down very well.

I have never spoken to DS2's (18) boss, he's worked there 2 years. I definitely wouldn't ring in your position.

Deckthehallswithdesperation Wed 17-Jun-15 18:54:15

What about asking to speak to her boss in a day or two, nicely, just to find out their side of what happened?

Slippersmum Wed 17-Jun-15 18:56:11

I would say no too. My friend owns a business where she employees a number of young people. She occasionally gets calls from parents and it is more of an irritation to her than anything and would not alter any choices she would make regarding their employment. It is hard to not get involved though and I do feel for you!

Lucy61 Wed 17-Jun-15 19:00:46

No no no! Keep well away. This is an opportunity for a valuable life lesson. Teach her how to question why she's being fired and to find out what her rights are and ask for them.

These lessons are worth more in life than a teen part-time job .

Floggingmolly Wed 17-Jun-15 22:45:15

What about asking to speak to her boss in a day or two, nicely, just to find out their side of what happened?
What about letting your daughter do just that??

Shenanagins Wed 17-Jun-15 23:00:59

Her boss shouldn't engage with you as your not the employee and it would be a breach of confidentiality regardless of who you are.

usualsuspect333 Wed 17-Jun-15 23:05:50

No, advise her about her rights etc but do not speak to her boss.

ClashCityRocker Wed 17-Jun-15 23:22:07

i don't think its a great idea.

from the boss's perspective, it's unlikely to change his mind and more likely to make your daughter appear a bit of a numpty - particulalry if it is just rumours.

You should encourage your daughter to find out what is/has been going wrong, if anything.

Heyho111 Wed 17-Jun-15 23:41:47

All you can do is give her advice on what to do and say. You cannot get involved. She is now in an adult world.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Wed 17-Jun-15 23:43:31

DO NOT get involved. Seriously. It is embarassing for her. Embarassing for her boss. You will make her look a tit.

Stay out.

NotCitrus Wed 17-Jun-15 23:45:21

Advise her; don't contact anyone involved yourself.

PerspicaciaTick Wed 17-Jun-15 23:45:40

Listen to your DD. Talk through your DDs options with her, help her plan an approach, but let her carry it out. Later, ask her how it went.

LynetteScavo Wed 17-Jun-15 23:51:02

DH had to fire someone once. His dad asked DH directly why his DS had been fired (the son was over 18). DH would not disclose why. The Dad to this day thinks DH is a knob head, but I'm sure if the Dad knew what his son had done he would be shock shock shock

Do you really want to get involved?

eyebags63 Thu 18-Jun-15 08:50:34

No. Do not be that parent. Advise your DD on what to say and what her rights are, but FGS do not get involved yourself as it will be embarrassing for everyone involved and achieve nothing.

specialsubject Thu 18-Jun-15 11:41:53

as an ex-rep I've seen mummy's little darlings get fired, and also seen what mummy's little darling tells mummy, and how far it is from the truth.

I also know that the company will pay no attention to parents.

I am absolutely not saying your daughter is in the mummy's little darling category, but you CANNOT get involved. You can certainly advise on what she can do to raise grievances, battle rumours etc, but she must fight her own battles.

and if it is a bullying workplace, why stay? It's not the only place she can combine work and hobby, although she may have to move.

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