How do you stop yourself from being terrified of drugs / driving / DANGER in general?

[wickedwaterwitch]

My son is 17. A friend of his died recently from a drug overdose.

He's gone to a party tonight and I won't sleep until I know he's back safely - he's staying with a friend and the mum is collecting and has agreed to text me when they're back. I doubt very much he'll take any drugs. I'm sure he'll drink and I'm ok with that.

I know you've got to let them go, I know you have but I'm finding it tough, especially given the tragedy of the friend.

What helps?

[Alvah]

Wickedwaterwitch - sorry not to be of any help, but I am wondering the same!! My DS is 14, so dangers are less/different to that of a 17 year old, but still the worries and dangers are there.

Sometimes I manage to switch off, literally put him out of my mind, but other times my whole body feels shaky and weak (adrenaline). It's horrible.

I have gradually managed to get into a frame of mind where I accept that there is only so much I can do to keep him safe - provide a loving, caring and nurturing home, appropriate boundaries, a listening ear and non- lecturing advice. Out width that I cannot prevent random things happening or him making bad choices, therefore I can only trust that he will be okay...

[Alvah]

Sorry, I'll maybe explain that the reason that I worry is because I know that there are drink\drugs around them and quite a few of them are experimenting. I know that my DS has been drinking on occasion (always home on time and never 'drunk') and with drugs being widely available (even smoked at school!!), it is a constant worry. I look back with nostalgia to the days my biggest worry was him drinking an energy drink

[Alvah]

Sorry, I'll maybe explain that the reason that I worry is because I know that there are drink\drugs around them and quite a few of them are experimenting. I know that my DS has been drinking on occasion (always home on time and never 'drunk') and with drugs being widely available (even smoked at school!!), it is a constant worry. I look back with nostalgia to the days my biggest worry was him drinking an energy drink

[Heyho111]

I can understand you worrying. But your son lost a friend to drugs. This tragedy will make him see the danger and the friends death should keep your son from doing anything dangerous.
The one major enemy to a teen is the feeling they are almost invincible. They have now seen its not true. Over time your worry will subside as he continues to come home safe.

[ChillySundays]

Heyho has written it perfectly.

[wickedwaterwitch]

Thank you, that's helpful.

[BackforGood]

Totally agree wtih HeyHO
I was going to say that talking about options and choices, from an early age really helps. Encouraging them to think for themselves and make decisions based on what they want to do or what ^they think is the right thing o do, as younger children, gives them the understanding - confidence, if you like - to be able to make the right choices as they get older. They realise that you still have friends and it's OK if you don't want to follow the herd.