16 year old and seperation(3 Posts)
Hi . Im new to the forum . I seperated from my partner of 23 years last august and moved out with daughter whos 16 . I have kept my daughter out of things he was mentally abusive and I had been wanting to leave for years but stayed cause of daughter. I left him house furniture sorted all his bills has every thing was in my name. I left him with 30.000 of my share off the mortgage so my daughter still had security in future or inheritance. Since moving daughter has been diagnosed with depression she went councilling and its down to the moving of homes seperation off parents and exams which she is going though now . Shes been put on citropram. She's always been loner type just in room. Im hoping with starting college in sept . It will bring her out. She ment to see her dad two weekends a month . But he has her for one sat night in every 4 . Doesnt do nothing with her she goes to her room . And comes back even more depressed . I texted him saying how ever he feels about situation he should keep his feeling to himself . At the beginning he told her he wouldnt be around much longer ( take his own life ) hes always been a moaner and puts every one esle down . Well its been 9 months and I have started to see a man I use to go school with . My daughter is so rude she wont talk. If I go shopping its where are you . I feel trapped like im living back with him just a different house . Ive told her if shes not happy living with me she can got to live with her dad . Im 45 this year . I wasted 23 sitting there not allowed out she doesn't understand has shes never had a boyfriend . Sorry just needed someone to talk to
She's scared, she's depressed, she lived in an abusive situation for years, she has major exams and her life has recently been turned on its head. Her father clearly doesn't care all that much about her and now, her one source of stability is seeing another man?
I'm not surprised she not reacting well - 9 months is very little time and she's still on meds - she needs support...not a threat that if you'll send her to her abusive father if she doesn't perform as you want!
Sounds like she needs more intervention. You won't have hidden the abuse as much as you think you have. She'll have heard it, if not seen it. Whilst the abuse is your expartner's fault and shame, it's now down to you to support her properly. As the previous poster stated, she's scared, depressed and worried about losing you, poor kid. Turn it on its head - give her as much attention and reassurance as you can. By all means, have a new relationship, but keep it away from her.
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