Hi northernsoul58
What can we do to get her away from them, she is 18 and if we try to talk to her about it she says we are controlling and she is leaving home.
A lot of the young people who are part of this group are vulnerable in someway and some have left home since joining.
Her youth/cell leader has a hold over all the girls in her cell group and my DD jumps when she clicks her fingers. She has 4 children who she home schools and she has baby sat for them lots and then had to make her own way home when she has been there a full day without food. I don't mind her being kind but they exploit her good nature and ask her to do things when she has other things arranged , like going to college or a family holiday that she has agreed to go on. We paid for her to go away last year to see her sister and she wanted to come, but at the last minute she had a trial for a job so didn't go, we have found out since there was a conference at church at the same time and she didn't need to go on the trial.
Alarm bells started ringing for me when I had a meeting with the cell leader and she said the kids were encouraged not to worship at any other church because they might teach them something that they don't believe- surely if you're a Christian everyone believes in the same thing.
when I was first concerned and had a meeting with cell leader I said I might come along to the services at night and go to my local church in the morning but I was told I couldn't do that as people are expected to be fully involved in their church and you can't go to another church at the same time.
Before I was really concern DH and I went to a morning service it was all very lively and welcoming without much content a lot of jumping up and down and praying in tongues at the front.
They passed a big bucket around to put money in.
When she first became involved she was always at the cell leaders house as it was just up the street ( luckily they have moved 5 miles away to start another church belonging to this same church) the pastor also lives on the same estate. It was very difficult for us as every time she had a row with us they would collect her in the car or she would storm off up there they would take her out for coffee and say how much they loved her. I would text her and tell her to send her home but she would just ignore me. At this time she didn't do any college work and it got into a vicious cycle of me nagging her to do her work and her having a row and storming off up the road.
I spoke to the pastor about it and he said his kids managed to do their homework, theY still continued to fill her week up with stuff preventing her from getting her work done and she failed her course.
The last straw this week is that the cell leader decided to run for conservative councillor , the young people voted likewise possibly because they idolise her. I don't mind who my DD votes for ,that's her right but to use your influence on a group of young people as a church leader like this is very wrong. My DH was fuming when my DD and her friend from church were dropped off on Thursday pm by the DH of cell leader after delivering leaflets for them , then cell leaders DH couldn't drop the friend off home he didn't have time and expected her to get the bus from ours and walk in the dark from a shopping centre back to her house ( she lives on a very rough estate 4 miles away from us)
I text her cell leader about this and she said DS friend has walked from bus before and said she didn't know about it cause she wasn't there.I lost it I'm afraid and told her I was disgusted by her behaviour and that they are being irresponsible there is still a rapist at large nearby. She wants to meet up to discuss DD and involve her in discussion but I don't want to involve her as they'll just use it against us.
Sorry for such a long post, lots of stuff has happened but I can't list it all.
To the outside world it looks good cause she's not into drugs and drink and feel I can't talk to people about it , everyone thinks she'll outgrow it. I feel she can't get away from it ,the pastors son is on the same course with her this year and she meets young people from cell at lunch time so can't make new friends. I didn't know he was on the same course until she had made the decision to go.
