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Teen internet relationships

(11 Posts)
Mumteadumpty Sat 10-Jan-15 11:37:00

My DD has struck up an online friendship with a boy she has met on Minecraft. Obviously I have been concerned about this. My question is to those of you with a teen DS, how likely is it that they would be chatting to a 15 year old girl?

TeenAndTween Sat 10-Jan-15 11:42:27

OP. Not sure you are asking the right question.
Even if 100% of teen boys would chat to a teen girl, you need to ask, I think, what is the chance this isn't a teen boy at all?

Sorry nothing more useful to add, we're not a gaming family.

Mumteadumpty Sat 10-Jan-15 11:57:14

Yes, that is my concern! But as my DD is adamant that he is who he says he is, I am approaching it from an alternative angle.

HarrietSchulenberg Sat 10-Jan-15 12:06:53

My 14 year old ds has a 14 year old girlfriend he met through a Facebook fan page. We had many, many conversations (some more heated than others) about how "she" was probably a 50 year old bloke hunched over t'internet in a stained onesie but to no avail.
Eventually he skyped her and found out that she is genuine, and has met her once (very public place but sadly the whole thing was done and dusted before he bothered to tell me).
Don't know if you want to try the Skype route but it seems to have worked for my ds.

SunnyBaudelaire Sat 10-Jan-15 12:08:24

well she would say that wouldnt she. THis is one thing I put my foot right down about.

honeysucklejasmine Sat 10-Jan-15 12:15:57

I still have friends i met online as a teenager. Be sensible about it. Voice chat is a good way of ensuring they are the right gender etc.

When we first met IRL my dad came with me and we met her and her mother at Lakeside. From then on they were happy to let us meet up in London etc.

The last thing you want yo do is stop communication with your child about this. Be open with each other. Ask questions about them (how's their coursework going? Are they doing the same exam board as you? How are they coping with X?) like you would any other friend. In time, offer to go with them for a meet up.

If friend is in fact a filthy paedo then they won't want to come, knowing you'll be there. Make it clear to your dc that you insist on coming the first time but from then on you'll butt out. After all, you'd love to meet them, you know all about them.

Mumteadumpty Sat 10-Jan-15 12:31:38

Thank you for your responses. Initially I was anxious about this, and although I don't want to become complacent, I am looking for reassurance that not everybody online has ulterior motives (as of course they don't, being here myself talking to strangers).

velocityofbeans Sat 10-Jan-15 12:38:14

My dd met her dh online, although that was through a forum rather than a game. She was 17 at the time, and I had so many alarm bells ringing it's amazing I could hear anything else. We did always keep the pc in the living room though, so we could keep an eye on things, and when they eventually met we made sure one of us went with her. Happily it all turned out ok, and they have been together for 9 years now.

I think, as long as you are keeping an eye on things, and make sure she doesn't meet him alone the first time, you should let her get on with it, for now anyway

PeaStalks Sat 10-Jan-15 16:53:19

Yes of course anyone online could be a mad axe murderer / paedophile. Chances are though that it's just another teenager playing minecraft.

My DC are gamers and have grown up in the online age. They know the dangers and I wouldn't encourage them to meet up with strangers. Eyebrows were raised when I told them I was meeting up with a MNer I had met online wink.
DS2 has made some long standing friends on Minecraft and LOL. He chats on Skype to a Dutch boy of the same age.
She has told you about this person and so you can keep a continuing eye on things.

bigTillyMint Sat 10-Jan-15 16:58:11

My friend's DD has lots of friends that she hooked up with online. But through FB/Twitter/Insta, etc.

It's good that she's told you - you can keep an eye on it.

rockchickbarbie23 Tue 13-Jan-15 00:30:52

Get her to Skype him, ring him and put it on speaker anything to see/hear him, if he makes up excuses it's probably a old man, watch the show called 'catfish' on mtv that might give you ideas

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