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Inspiration for my sad teen? Eclectic is good.

(39 Posts)
queenbrunhilda Wed 07-Jan-15 23:39:37

My lovely daughter (13) has had a tough time since going to high school (persistent but usually low-level nastiness/excluding behaviour by some of her peers). The school is being helpful and supportive but she is at a low ebb.

Have been thinking about resources that might help. Books, films, poetry phrases, anything really that might give her a helpful way of thinking about the situation and reinforce her own sense of identity and strength.

Doesn't have to be heavy or serious - she likes playing with the idea of channeling strong women and is a great mimic- so suggestions along the lines of 'what would so and so do?' would be great too!

Kleinzeit Thu 08-Jan-15 10:05:50

How about the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series? It has a good “high-school outsiders” thread and is very witty. You might need to check the violence levels depending on how sensitive your DD is, though I find it OK myself and I have a low tolerance for gore/horror.

HelloItsStillMeFell Thu 08-Jan-15 10:09:54

If you don't think she's a little young at 13 (there a few slightly rude scenes and references but nothing that will be a shock to her at 13) get her to watch Easy A with Emma Stone. It's a wonderful film that will make you laugh, with a really strong, intelligent, independent and brave teenaged girl as the lead character.

Hamuketsu Thu 08-Jan-15 10:31:38

Not necessarily dealing specifically with thosee issues but this YouTuber is pretty funny and is also the positive type. https://www.youtube.com/user/IISuperwomanII

queenbrunhilda Thu 08-Jan-15 19:56:05

All sound great suggestions which we'll explore - very much appreciated, thank you.

TheFirstOfHerName Thu 08-Jan-15 20:00:36

Gilmore Girls is positive and the character of Rory is a good role model for any young person (kind, sensitive, introverted, studious).

TheFirstOfHerName Thu 08-Jan-15 20:01:22

It's also cleverly written and funny.

hufflebottom Thu 08-Jan-15 20:19:31

Is it specifically books etc you're after?

What about youth groups? Army cadets/air cadets/guides/scouts etc.... They have lots of achievements and she can progress also give her a group of friends away from school.

lljkk Thu 08-Jan-15 20:21:47

Oldie but goody. My 13yo is obsessed with Harry Potter & of course Hermione. DD is also a Superwoman fan.

KatieKaye Thu 08-Jan-15 20:24:38

How about the TV show Roswell High? About teen outsiders who really are different.

noitsbecky Thu 08-Jan-15 20:24:50

Video bloggers like Lex Croucher and Rosianna Halse Rojas are obscure (not high profile like your Zoellas) and are very thoughtful, professionally successful young women.

Hakluyt Thu 08-Jan-15 20:25:28

Can I suggest a couple of really left field ones? My dd always says that one of the best depictions of the awfulness of girl friendships she has ever read is Northhanger Abbey. And she also got (and still gets!) great comfort from Antonia Forest's school stories. They are old fashioned, but are very clear sighed about people and relationships.

Hakluyt Thu 08-Jan-15 20:27:24

And obviously, What Would Beyonce Do?

KiaOraOAotearoa Thu 08-Jan-15 20:28:09

How about this?

Cocolepew Thu 08-Jan-15 20:30:22

DD is very heavily into Marvel, she has just started to go to Comic Cons and met like minded Geeks smile.
She is 16 so a bit older, loves Buffy, Supernatural (bit gory, approach with caution), Marvel Agents Of Shield, used to love HP.

ViolettaBridgettettette Thu 08-Jan-15 20:30:40

Excersise and endorphins for a feel good factor

Cocolepew Thu 08-Jan-15 20:31:37

Great link Kia, I must show DD. Nice to seee Judy Blume on it.

albertcampionscat Thu 08-Jan-15 20:36:10

Second Buffy.

Mean Girls?

There's a Swedish film called 'Show me Love' that's completely wonderful and about girl friendships. You might want to watch it yourself first - it's not as straightforward as I'm making it sound and I don't want to give away the plot.

Jeffrey Eugenides Virgin Suicides? Depends on whether she'd find this funny:

“Dr. Armonson stitched up her wrist wounds. Within five minutes of the transfusion he declared her out of danger. Chucking her under the chin, he said, "What are you doing here, honey? You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets."

And it was then Cecilia gave orally what was to be her only form of suicide note, and a useless one at that, because she was going to live: "Obviously, Doctor," she said, "you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl.”

iseenodust Thu 08-Jan-15 20:52:42

I would say take up a martial art. Or at least something like boxercise. Feel fit and walk tall.

Any club or group outside school where she has/can make a second group of friends?

Grease is the word, is the word !

lljkk Thu 08-Jan-15 21:35:59

Carla, Dr. Cox, Jordan or Denise in Scrubs.

cdtaylornats Thu 08-Jan-15 22:36:45

Perhaps this may inspire her

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

chocoluvva Fri 09-Jan-15 09:57:57

IME confidence comes from doing things and feeling valued. Often from membership of a special interest group - drama, sports, music, charity work etc. If your DD can find an interest/group outside school and your immediate neighbourhood that would probably help her. Take the focus off the mean girls. Forget about them and have fun doing something without them.

chocoluvva Fri 09-Jan-15 10:01:19

Good advice about having a healthy attitude, true though it is, can be very difficult to follow at the best of times, especially when you're only 13.

pandora987 Fri 09-Jan-15 10:41:27

Watch unkle adams "I am stronger" on you tube - inspiring and very current. My DD and all her friends (year 7) love it.

bruffin Fri 09-Jan-15 11:06:40

Taylor Swifts - Mean

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