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What will happen if dd drops out of 6th form?

(11 Posts)
WheresClare Mon 05-Jan-15 22:56:45

DD is 16. She had a terrible year last year (yr 11) including an overdose and self harm. I hoped things would be better this year and they are in that she seems happier at home but she just doesn't want to be at 6th form. Trouble is, she doesn't want to do anything else at the moment either. She hasn't done any studying and is likely to fail this year, she knows she should work but doesn't want to. My gut feeling is that she just needs to leave and have a complete break from education. She has a part time job which she will keep up and I think if she could have a bit of time off she'd sort herself out and either start again in September or apply for an apprenticeship or something but I think she needs a bit of space before she's made to do something else. My question is, will the authorities allow that or will they insist she stays in some form of education/training? How much will they chase us?

Facefacts Tue 06-Jan-15 00:05:24

Worth discussing with school about not taking exams, starting year again (there or somewhere else) after a break from things. It seems from my understanding that once you have a result you are stuck with it going into A2 year. Also if you change schools and they have a different exam board that can be a pain if you already have results from a different exam board ( although there is a procedure for doing this). It is very easy to get caught up in the inflexible treadmill of school but if schools know the circumstances they will usually be understanding. And if she needs a break to get back on track so be it. There are good medical reasons so feel free to fight her corner to get her what she needs.

anthropology Tue 06-Jan-15 01:08:32

My DD took a year out of education in similar circumstances. She also changed colleges at 6th form. More teens than you imagine do this and if you can get a note from camhs and speak to the LEA and school, they should understand especially if she has continued treatment/therapy and at this stage you say she will start again in September. I am not sure if she is in the same school as before, but we found a new college was better , as its difficult to go back a year in the same place. My DD did try. Changing to a sixth form college rather than school was more flexible about the hours she needed to attend . She also changed colleges and exam boards between AS and A levels, which wasnt as impossible as I imagined so do look at alternative courses, colleges for September. It sounds positive your DD is holding down a job after such a difficult time as its important to keep structure when they are at home. . My DD is now at university, not too far from home, which is what she wanted. I agree fight for what she needs,rather than the school, reduce and change A levels if necessary too if she does want to get into Higher education. When she feels stronger, she may feel she can focus more on work. best of luck to both of you.

Anjelica27 Tue 06-Jan-15 12:10:15

So sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. Ds started 6th form and following suicide attempts and self harm obviously not attending. Talked to school and the suggestion to postpone a year came from them. They asked for permission to talk to his doctor and he agreed this would be the best thing as it would take away the added pressure of study. School phoned and told me this and I agreed and that was that - no paperwork or anything apart from a phone call of support from his tutor. I guess before the new school year starts in September 2015 they will be in touch but we would probably look at different college. Hope this helps, sending you a hug x

WheresClare Tue 06-Jan-15 20:57:52

How weird Angelica - we are supporting each other on different threads! My daughter seems to be better after the refusing-help-for-depression episode last year but I'm worried about school - you seem to have sorted the school problem but are struggling with your son not wanting help! Take care!

Reekypear Tue 06-Jan-15 21:04:10

Just say your homeschooling. Absolutely nothing they can do. But she won't get a full time job before 18. She could do home based correspondence courses if she wanted.

wigglybeezer Tue 06-Jan-15 21:58:13

My DS1 has just done this, he really needed a break, no issue as the rules are different in Scotland but I am regarding it as a form of homeschooling anyway and he will be doing an online course soon and is working on some life skills and looking for part time work, more teenagers than we think probably need this.

Messtermind Tue 06-Jan-15 22:15:38

I think you wrote this about me about 2 years ago.. I'm nearly 19 now and at 16 I was your daughter, the best thing for everyone concerned is to listen to your daughters wishes.. I left 6th form in February and decided to start college in September which was the best thing I could ever have done (no longer go due to other issues) but I was much much happier doing what I decided when I was in a better state of mind than when I decided to go to 6th form, it's not for everyone!

WheresClare Wed 07-Jan-15 21:00:22

Thanks all - esp. messtermind - it's always so good hearing people who've come out the other side of a problem.

Messtermind Wed 07-Jan-15 23:02:35

I did and so will you and DD, good luck with whatever she chooses smile

OhMjh Sun 11-Jan-15 12:49:43

I did it. Battled with an eating disorder, too much pressure ( predicted all a's) and just wasn't in the right place to be in education then. Left at 18, had a full time job a week later and within 6 months was the second most senior member of staff in a multinational business. I'm now 20, in a long term relationship, financially sound with a 6 week old baby. Sometimes the 'right order' of doing things doesn't exist. I shudder to think where I would have been had I stayed in education when it wasn't right for me; the support of my parents through what can only be described as a hellish time helped me infinitely.

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