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13yo daughter won't leave house, says people drain her

(12 Posts)
CowboyJoeFromMexico Fri 02-Jan-15 11:36:00

Hi, I have a 13yo who struggles being around people, even her close friends. It's got worse lately and she is very reluctant to leave the house at all. She's missed a lot of school due to various illnesses and says she is dreading going in next week.

She's very clever and top in most subjects (not stealth boasting) but says she wants to be educated but being around so many people drains her. She has friends, no issue with bullying but is becoming more and more reclusive.

She's very articulate and constantly angry with us, we love her to bits but her rages are terrifying. I wish I could put her in a smaller school but there isn't anything here like that.

I honestly don't know what to do, should I take her to the doctor or do I speak to the school? Her dad has problems with depression and I'm so worried she's going to have this too. Many thanks for reading.

Branleuse Fri 02-Jan-15 11:42:16

do you think she might be a bit aspie?
check out aspergers in girls

CowboyJoeFromMexico Fri 02-Jan-15 11:46:05

Her brother has Aspergers but she's never really ticked the boxes for it as such. I'll look into it more though.

Ohmygrood Fri 02-Jan-15 11:49:23

It could also be anxiety. Have a look at the young minds website.

Branleuse Fri 02-Jan-15 13:14:10

its probably to do with that. often people related to others with diagnosed autism can have a lot of the traits but its not the right ones to get any diagnosis, but afffects your life.

Loads of autism in my immediate family. Im not autistic but i completely relate to how your dd feels about other people. Theyre exhausting

constantlyconfused Fri 02-Jan-15 20:40:03

One of my DDs friends is like this she says "i hate people" and won't see them after school etc. Has your DD always been this way or is it recent?

Minerves Sat 03-Jan-15 00:06:47

i'm the same. no aspergers, just introverted.

some people don't need to be round lots of people/have lots of friends to be happy.

Mrsjayy Sat 03-Jan-15 11:35:31

She is introverted and slightly dramatic about it because she is 13 wink dd was like this at 13 and couldn't really cope with other kids she did have friends and she did start socialising more at about 15/16 I would nt worry to much about her as long as she seems content in herself just let her do things at her own pace.

Mrsjayy Sat 03-Jan-15 11:39:50

Im really sorry I didn't read your post correctly she isn't content at all she flies of the handle has she started this recently or has she always been prone to tantrums could just be her age ask her why she thinks its ok to rage at her family get her talking instead of raging

vinegarandbrownpaper Sat 03-Jan-15 11:50:14

I tell you what, I was like this until I got to uni and was around people who were more like me. It drained me like nothing else having to constantly act like I didn't know things or to try to fit in with a frankly nobby childish round of chatter and popularity games. When I got to uni I could relax, be clever and silly and not feel like I was being pointless. Are you in a smallish town too? I don't quite know what to suggest except perhaps being aggressive about finding ways to make her comfortable with being who she is outside school etc and perhaps find other social groups. What saved me psychologically.. but dropped my grades a bit.. was getting into a music scene that others were secretly jealous of my bravery at being into. I am sure this could be done with other hobbies or interests too. Online might help?

vinegarandbrownpaper Sat 03-Jan-15 11:51:12

Introduce her to Daria pehaps?

NewYearNewBrie Tue 06-Jan-15 14:56:54

they drained me, too. Still do. DM didn't understand that I just hated being around people and having to talk to people just made me depressed as i've always been laughed a and such, I have a stutter.
I've suffered from depression and anxiety since start of high school. It may sound stupid, but it's not. I absolutely loath being around people.

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