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Teenage pregnancy... 😳

(9 Posts)
supportingparents2014 Sun 14-Dec-14 21:01:06

Hi, I'm the mother of a 13 year old that concealed a pregnancy and gave birth we think at 37 weeks. Our beautiful grandson is now 2, DD and DGS live with us....

Are there any other mums that have experienced similar and would care to share your experience

supportingparents2014 Sun 14-Dec-14 22:07:39

Id like to add.... The age of your teen is irrelevant the outcome is also irrelevant, I'm more interested in how you coped? Who did you turn too? This is such a taboo topic I understand. The shame can still root deep to admit we're the parents of teenagers that had sex, let alone babies. There has to be more parents out there willing to share stories? Willing to help others in this crisis right now?

Heyho111 Mon 15-Dec-14 05:45:00

I am not in that position but I thought you'd appreciate my view on it. I have one of each.
My D getting pregnant is not in my top ten list of mental worries that I would hate to happen to her. There are far worse things that could happen such as us losing a relationship with her, drug addiction etc. pregnancy would just take us on a slightly different course. I am also very aware how early sex starts in many cases.
I would however be more upset if my son got a girl pregnant. The reason being that he and us may not have contact. With a D you can help, be involved. To have a grandchild that I couldn't see and my son not be involved with (possibly) is an awful thought.
I would not feel shame. Be proud that you have supported your D and GC and I bet you just couldn't imagine life without him.

supportingparents2014 Mon 15-Dec-14 08:51:59

Thank you soooo much for sharing your view. I appreciate it. Myself and my DD face many inequalities daily and really wanted to stand up for parents that cope or don't cope with teenage pregnancies. I'm hoping to start a support group for parents like myself and generally wanted to see if this would be beneficial for all. I know when I was faced with this family crisis I wanted to scream, rant, sob to someone that just understood. Friends have been a great resource of support but from experience the taboo is still prominent and parents need help with this! Please, if you know or are the parent of a teenager who fathered a child or have a daughter that currently is facing this get in touch., I'm just a um wanting to help others. You are not alone!

alightinthedark Tue 06-Jan-15 00:24:10

To 'supportingparents2014'; thank you so much for your idea of forming a support group. I would be very interested; we've just been hit by the news that out 17yr old son is going to be a father and need all the advice we can get to help us move forward! Your comment about taboo's being prominent I feel is something we will be encountering a lot and having advice on ways to cope with this would be valuable (just thinking about breaking the news to my 78yr old mother is filling me with dread!).
Please keep in touch!

53Dragon Tue 06-Jan-15 00:34:21

Well done for supporting your daughter. In a way it's easier for her than a slightly older child - she has no choice over whether to continue her education. I think it's so sad when girls get pregnant at 15 or 16 and leave school. Having said that, a colleague has a daughter who had her first child at 15 and is now a mum of three at 20. They seem a warm, happy, loving family.
Your poor daughter must have been so scared - no wonder she concealed her pregnancy - how traumatic for you all. None of us can judge - we all hope that our children won't end up in that situation but it can and does happen. I'm mum to two boys and as others have said I would probably find it harder to accept that they had caused an unplanned pregnancy. At 13 your daughter was young and naive but you don't need me to tell you that!
How are you coping? I guess you wouldn't be posting if everything was rosy. I just wanted to offer words of support really - well done you for doing your best for your daughter thanks

Reekypear Tue 06-Jan-15 00:34:28

I'm the product of a teenage pregnancy.

It's not the end of the world but my mother and I have no mother daughter relationship as she basically left me with my GPs while she and my dad had their youth. Frankly I was emotionally and physically neglected because they did not have a clue, and I've been dealing with it all my life.

It's been pretty shit, and I absolutely made sure I did not make that mistake.

My advice, make your child be a mother, don't take over.

supportingparents2014 Thu 08-Jan-15 08:30:03

Hi, for some reason my mumsnet app isn't giving me the notifications I need to keep close with this thread.

I've recent started a blog about my experiences with teenage pregnancy.
I can't really see this damn screen either to write something a little more in depth.
I'm not liking this app and so ill be back, as soon as I've got chance to open the laptop. Here is my blog address http://scarleteen13.wordpress.com

You can find our journey so far here and please, feel free to message me privately if you need support. We also have a Facebook page. You'll find myself there too. Scarleteen - supporting families faced with teenage pregnancy.

I'm off to sulk, this app is not great sad xx

smileyforest Mon 26-Jan-15 07:05:14

Well...My son will be a Father at 18.5..his gf nearly 18y..As parents...its not what we would wish for...but the worse we can do is alienate them...Support is what they need...its another life coming into the world and part of 'us'...Yes its a shock...but far worse things happen...I've shed my tears...now the journey begins....xx

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