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daughters, drugs n facebook

(3 Posts)
heeeeelp Thu 27-Nov-14 16:34:40

My daughter left herself logged in to Facebook. I read some of her exchanges ... mentioned LSD, "changing dealer" and other stuff.

Now she is a fairly conscientious person, working on a levels, and has many positive aspects. And I'm not good at confrontation. So I said nothing. But implied to her mother [we're separated] that I though she might be doing stuff. Her mother said to her that I thought she was doing hard drugs.

Daughter phoned me, did admit to doing ecstasy once, but said she wouldn't do it again. Asked if I trusted her, I didn't say yes, didn't say no either. And now she thinks I dont trust her. [I;m not sure she appreciated the irony there]

I kinda cocked up in many ways! I cant mention I read her facebook.

Thing is I dont want to damage relationship cause the good side of her is good. And I kinda are of the opinion that she's growing up, and that means there is good and bad. I've always been of the opinion that at the end of the day unless you lock them in, or have some magical perfect child, or have done a better job of parenting than I have, there is little that you can do to prevent them experimenting if they feel so inclined. Her mother is of the opinion that best we can do is provide a supportive roof.

So, now I have to confront her ... eeek. Sad thing is there is a lot of love, mostly. Maybe it was a blip.

So what do I do that is supportive, constructive and doesn't create a rift. And what do I do long term? What is your experience?

summer68 Thu 27-Nov-14 22:09:10

I've done the same thing myself and checked out my sons open Facebook - only because I'm so worried about him ( ive never looked at my dds)
I was sick with worry however a student ( teacher) at my work mentioned that teens completely exaggerate on face book ( including taking drugs and excessive drinking) he said he had often done that himself even though he had never taken anything. It was just to sound cool. So my advice is to go on your gut instinct, if your dd isn't showing any signs of drug taking then maybe she isnt. She may well of been truthful to you.
My son does take drugs and can be very aggressive. But I know that he exagerates ( he posted that while we were on holiday he met some Greek dealers- we know he didn't! As we were with him!).
Hope this helps

heeeeelp Fri 28-Nov-14 17:42:44

Hi Summer68, thanks for that. I'm not so sure that that applies in this case - these were in messages between her and a friend, rather than in her normal facebook, I'm a friend of hers so I'd see anything she put on her timeline.

Yes, she doesn't seem to be a regular user, and seems conscientious about her a levels. That said she smokes (may not be regular) and admitted to smoking weed - but not at home - or at least not when I'm at hoe and not indoors if she does.

Anyway she wasn't happy with me cause I had said earlier that I didn't know if I could trust her. I asked her if she'd done anything other than the weed and ectasy she'd mentioned - she said no, but in her messages she mentioned LSD and exodus. And she mentioned that her dealer had 4 cars and it was a bit dodgy hanging around and then giving money to someone through a car window. That was all in messages to a guy talking about getting stuff for a party - so I reckon its not exaggeration

Fingers crossed I can repair the relationship with my daughter and keep my fingers crossed. Not sure I can do much else sad any suggestions would be welcome

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