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Padded bras????

(25 Posts)
Fragglewump Thu 20-Nov-14 11:44:03

Ugh I hate them for teenage girls and when my daughter began to sprout breasts I was horrified by how many teen bras were padded and hunted to find unpadded ones. I object to sexualising young girls by giving them bras which make them look more mature and sexualised than they are. However my daughter has been bought these padded bras by her dd and dsm and she sees her much younger step sister wearing them which her dm has bought for her. Last night she asked if we could go shopping at the weekend as she needs some new bras - like the ones from her dds. I asked her if she preferred that type because they are more comfy or because they make her boobs look bigger. She said "both reasons". I'm having a little wrestle with myself in my head about how to approach this. I know that the vast majority of teen girls must wear these softly padded bras as that is what is sold in the vast majority of shops. I know that she will think I am just being a prudish old fart if I object. She has just turned 14 and is on the whole a fantastic teenager. Should I get over myself or am I right to feel uncomfortable? Wisdom please.......

sweetfluffybunnies Thu 20-Nov-14 11:51:35

My dd wanted these when she first developed breasts, not because she wanted to look bigger, but because they gave her a nicer, smoother shape than thinner bras. I was a bit hmm at first but actually it boosted her self-confidence and made her feel more comfortable with herself.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it per se, as long as your dd is doing to please herself and not to please others (ie boys).

Madlizzy Thu 20-Nov-14 11:57:16

Yes, get over yourself. Padded bras hide sticky out nipples and are smoother under clothes. She's 14 and wants to fit in with her mates.

Merrylegs Thu 20-Nov-14 11:58:30

Padded bras are practical for developing girls whose breasts my be different sizes and perhaps sore. They are also more comfortable to wear under thin school blouses and actually cover up and provide a 'buffer zone' - thinner ones can leave a teen feeling more exposed. There is a difference between a padded bikini for a five year old say, and a padded bra for a teen.

Bramshott Thu 20-Nov-14 12:00:17

Surely very few bras AREN'T padded these days? All the ones I own definitely are.

titchy Thu 20-Nov-14 12:28:41

Yep nothing to make a teenage girl more self conscious than a bra everyone can see her nipples through.....

Get over yourself.

Fragglewump Thu 20-Nov-14 13:24:37

Okay thanks for the feedback. I shall indeed get over myself and buy them. I don't have padded bras myself as am ginormous of norks so can't see the benefits (besides the obvious). I put it out there to see if I was fretting over nothing and it seems I am.

MEgirl Thu 20-Nov-14 13:46:40

OP, if you do want to find something unpadded you could try Sports Direct. They have a Lonsdale (I think) unpadded sports bra up to a D cup. My about to turn 12 year old wears them as she is not yet developed enough for wires (another subject to rant about) and doesn't want padded either.

BadRoly Thu 20-Nov-14 13:54:20

I'm with the previous posters too - I was anti padded bras for youngsters until dd1 started needing to wear a bra. The padding helps hide nipples and make her breasts look less 'pointy' (and therefore less obvious).

She has non under wired ones from M&S (angel range I think), Peacocks and New Look who also do a 'teen' range. I measured her myself using the bra interventionists thread on here to get her proper under bust measurement then brought home a range of bras for her to try. All 3 shops have been very happy for me to do this (or very good at pretending to be) and return the ones that don't fit.

BadRoly Thu 20-Nov-14 13:56:53

I'd also reiterate what Merrylegs said if your dd wears white school blouses that leave nothing to the imagination. My dd often wears a white vest under hers to try and stop them being so transparent!

bigTillyMint Thu 20-Nov-14 14:02:41

Like madlizzy said. DD insists still on lightly padded despite being a 30EE to hide her nipples.

specialsubject Thu 20-Nov-14 17:14:00

there's little choice anyway unless you get the Asda cheapies. Very hard to find bras without padding, ghastly scratchy lace or painful wiring.

when she is older and has learnt not to care which took be about 40 years she can chuck them in the bin where they belong, but meantime make her life easy and buy them.

Fragglewump Thu 20-Nov-14 17:26:25

I found some good plain non padded versions in m and s and next directory.

Heyho111 Fri 21-Nov-14 06:24:36

There's a difference between padded and moulded bras. Moulded give a smooth line and nice shape and hides nipple. Padded is a cusion of material in the bra. I think you may be muddling the two up. Most bras are moulded. She can have nice t shirt ones and pretty patterned ones without looking sexy.

mumofthreegirls80 Fri 21-Nov-14 07:36:01

My teens are slightly padded but not these push up types lol! If they are not padded there nipples seem to show through! That's even worse I think! I think it's ok as long as it's not the push up cleavage type! My girls are 13 and 14 smile

murphys Fri 21-Nov-14 08:02:24

It is hard to find smaller bras without padding these days. But they are out there. Dd has some moulded bras which she likes and wears under her school shirt if she isn't wearing her sleeveless jumper if it didn't get put into the wash as is still laying on the floor crumpled

Just as an aside, white bras show quite a lot through the white cotton shirts, so the skin coloured/cream cant think of the correct colour term right now are the ones that dd prefers as they don't show as much.

Fairylea Fri 21-Nov-14 08:07:11

I think at that age it's more about fitting in with their friends... We see it as sexualised behaviour but to them it isn't. If all their friends were wearing vests then they would rather be seen dead than wear a bra for example! I'd just get whatever makes life easier for them... There is nothing worse than being the "outsider".

Mrsjayy Fri 21-Nov-14 08:54:43

My dds have always wore padded t shirt bras especially for school people are so preoccupied with this I don't get it surely young teenagers comfort more important than a mother yelling she doesn't want her child sexulised they are moulded and light ly padded hardly plunge cleavage bras op you really need to listen to your child look at yhe bras there is bugger all sexy about them.

VikingLady Fri 21-Nov-14 09:27:13

Definitely skin coloured if you can find them! Or I found gold colour didn't show through (Debenhams). Perhaps take a school shirt with you for trying on purposes?

Mrsjayy Fri 21-Nov-14 09:30:00

M n S do the nude ones in twin packs of white and nude

Eastpoint Fri 21-Nov-14 09:33:41

John Lewis do small back sizes with bigger back sizes if she outgrows the cup sizes at M&S. They do 28E in nude which works well under white tops if Caucasian.

sashh Sun 23-Nov-14 08:16:37

Most teenage girls see the padding as protection, Yes to the not having nipples on show as well.

They are not sexualising at all really.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 23-Nov-14 08:23:51

There's been research on this subject which found that teen girls tend to view padded bras as a "barrier" between their breasts and the world. So the padding is kind of a wall which hides their breasts better. So the opposite of sexualisation. They're trying to cover up.

bigTillyMint Sun 23-Nov-14 08:31:50

Yes, I agree with that - DD was/is definitely not trying to show off - she is trying to cover up.

It's such a shame that there isn't much choice in small back/large cups that isn't glamour-model stylie.

Mrsjayy Sun 23-Nov-14 09:10:54

viva exactly that they want to hide them

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