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DS 18 not getting written work done -is their a different way of talking to him about this?

(7 Posts)
NightTimeCometh Sat 15-Nov-14 18:38:26

DS is a bright lad and is doing a practical course (Btec level 3) at college. He's happy to go to college and do the practical side, but is very resistent to doing the written part. He has dyspraxia but is capable of writing using a laptop, but not getting his written work done has almost become a habit.

He's not going to be able to progress further unless he starts doing his written work. He knows this and, along with his very supportive tutors, I've had the usual conversations with him about needing to do the work in order for the future to be brighter etc and he's well aware that he can't progress to a higher level course - which he'd like to - without applying himself more to his written work.

DS could receive support at college, but refuses it even though they'd be prepared to be discrete about it - its more about not wanting to be bothered, rather than him being embarrassed about needing support. He will only accept help from me when he has a deadline and can't get out of doing the work. Then he just produces the minimum he can.

Is there an alternative, and more effective, way of talking to/approaching DS about this, do you think?

BrowersBlues Sat 15-Nov-14 19:51:29

You and everyone single person in the world is going to think I am absolutely stark raving mad but ... would he do it if you paid him a tenner for a piece of work?Yes I know its a very bad idea and will teach him lots of bad habits but seeing as he has a complete mental block with writing it might work. If it did work and he starting writing he might get confidence in his ability to write.

Its a crazy suggestion but people do say the carrot and the stick do the same job. Maybe the carrot might work with your DS. He sounds like a lovely boy who is trying with the practical side of things. I wouldn't underestimate the issues that arise with dyspraxia. My son had trouble learning to read and sometimes he approaches things in a different way to maybe the majority do. It is part of his charm (when he is not being a nightmare).

I told my daughter the other day that I would give her £100 per A in her A levels. She is not the most keen student in the world and her coursework is always late. Bribing her is one of the things that I said I would never ever do and before I had children I would have poured scorn on parents that bribe their children.

Hereshoping1 Sat 15-Nov-14 21:36:05

Ds1 has dyspraxia and avoided written work too. He has actually left his BTEC course (having also not managed AS levels) to do an apprenticeship (also level 3) and is very happy, so far! I have spent years trying everything (bribery, persuasion, deadlines, withholding allowance). In the end, unfortunately, it has to be his choice to do the work, and to find the means to do it - dictation software, whatever. I simply try and keep telling him that he has the ability and intelligence, in the hope that at some point in the future he will take getting good qualifications seriously. For now (he is 19) his apprenticeship is keeping him moving forwards - with the prospect of an HNC and HND afterwards. Sorry no answers just my full empathy!

NightTimeCometh Sun 16-Nov-14 16:20:52

Thank you for your responses BrowersBlues and Hereshoping1

I did actually try financial bribery with his GCSEs but it didn't motivate him to revise, although he did okay in some of his exams.

I'd not considered dictation software - will investigate that. The empathy is much appreciated.

Hereshoping1 Mon 17-Nov-14 22:12:11

Yes I offered a very generous bribe for GCSE.s but made no difference (he did pass them all but only just). good luck - remember that education is more than school / college.

Roseformeplease Mon 17-Nov-14 22:15:27

Break it down. Doing a long piece is very hard. Break it into chunks. One paragraph and then you will bring him a cup of tea, two and he can have an hour off to listen to music etc. Try to set easy chunks and frequent manageable targets.

Hereshoping1 Tue 18-Nov-14 23:04:53

My dyspraxic Ds1 as well as struggling with writing and concentration, avoids things rather than tackling them (I think you though this could be an issue, OP). He also struggles with planning - like many dyspraxics - not just getting school / college work done, but with seeing long term consequences of not doing something now - or buries his head in the sand rather than face up to the challenge. But there are ways round most problems - he just got to see the need for it and want to do it.

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