Bed time for 15 year old DS

[Headspaceneeded]

My nearly 15 year old does not seem to accept that 10.30pm or 11.00pm is too late to go to bed on a school night. He has to be out of bed by 7.00am to get ready and catch a bus and does manage this with a bit of nagging. But I really feel that he is not getting enough sleep. What time do your teenagers go to bed / sleep and how do you get them there at a decent time?

[Bowlersarm]

14 year old at 10.00, 16 year old at 10.30. Weekends and holidays they go when they want to.

I don't know why they go when they are told. Possibly because they have so much freedom in other ways. I've always been strict about bedtimes though, to me sleep and rest is of paramount importance. If our 16 year old started to complain he would get more leeway, but he hasn't yet.

[Daria01]

I don't have a teenager, but I'd agree that 10pm is an ideal bedtime for a 14 year old.

Is he staying up to do anything in particular, or does he just stay up for the sake of it?

[TsukuruTazaki]

10:30 pm really isn't too late for a 15 year old to go to bed on a school night! I would leave him to it and let him sort himself out re going to bed. If he starts feeling too tired and can't manage then he will go earlier, but tbh you sound a bit OTT telling him 10:30 is too late for a 7 am wake up as that is more than enough sleep!

Never went to bed anywhere near that early myself as a teen (nor do I now) and it was never a problem.

[AnyFucker]

My 14 yo goes at 10:30 but he farts about for at least another hour despite my nagging

I would chill out a bit

[myotherusernameisbetter]

I have a 14 and a half year old DS and a 13 and half year old DS. bed time is prett similar to yours - off screen at 9/9.30 ish and lights out at 10/10.30ish. Never had an issue up until last few weeks.

Elder son has been increasingly saying that he can't get to sleep and I do believe that teenagers do find it hard to get to sleep at a reasonable time however, he shot himself in the foot by saying it takes an hour to get to sleep regardless of when he goes.....so my answer is that he should be going earlier not later then!

He has got into a bit of a routine of coming down to get something just at lights out time and trying to string it out by getting me to chat to him. Part of my quite likes it, but as he struggles with social skills I am finding it tiring as it's a pretty much one way conversation. new rule this week is that he either attempts proper conversation or he goes to bed. I feel guilty as I've got to the point of ignoring him sitting there saying nothing and me saying "go to bed" every so often until he does.

[18yearstooold]

Mine have gone to bed when they feel like it for a couple of years

They had a giddy week at first when they stayed up until all hours but very quickly realised they need sleep and are generally on bed, through choice between 10 and half past -bed time is not a battle i'm prepared to have

[Bowlersarm]

NHS says 9 hours sleep for a 14 year old. Teenagers vary, I guess, like people, but use that as a guide and see how you go. My 14 year old needs to go to bed at 10.00, he does get tired and he doesn't cope well with it when he is.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

I don't have any problem with them getting out of bed at roughly 7.30am. They get up without nagging and at the weekends get up at about 8am on their own but there is no official bed time.

We went out the other weekend to a wedding and left them in the house and they text me at 11 to say they were going to bed and again at 11.30 to say that they'd put their lights out :)

[notquiteruralbliss]

Don't do bedtimes. Sometimes 15yo confuses her teachers by doing online homework at 3am. Always gets up for school though. If she is tired, she sleeps.

[Artandco]

I don't think I would have a bedtime for a teenager tbh. I would encourage them to work out for themselves they should sleep when tired/ or sleep when not if they have early start

Ds's are 3 and 4, and already decide vaguely when they need to sleep. Bedtime is around 9pm for them, but some days one will say they are tired at 8pm, sometimes at 9pm they will say really not tired and ask to look at a book 30 mins

[BackforGood]

My (just turned) 16 yr old is often awake when I turn in around 11.30 - 12.
She makes her own judgements. She's up at 7 every morning and is no trouble to get out of bed, she's doing well at school , and fitting lots of other things into her life, so I can't see that for her 11.30 or later is a problem.
Of course - like adults, we all need differing amounts of sleep, so maybe your ds needs more, but if he's not having a problem getting up, then I'd fight another battle, tbh.

[Heyho111]

Mine went up at 10.00 but what time he went to sleep varied between 10 and 1.00 in the morning. You can't physically make them sleep. He used to and still does catch up at weekends often surfacing between 12 and 1.00.

[RabbitOfNegativeEuphoria]

My nearly 15 year old DS (well, he's 14.5) usually goes at 10 however tonight all the kids have only just gone to bed because we were watching The Newsroom en famille. I predict sore heads and grumpiness in the morning but they wouldn't have gone to sleep at 10 knowing DH and I were watching it. The deal is, if they give us trouble in the morning then they don't get to watch it 'live' again. A powerful incentive.

[caroldecker]

My 15yo is up at 6.30, bed at 9.30 on school nights

[bigTillyMint]

Well, they are generally up in their rooms about 10, but they don't go to sleep straight away. I think generally by 11, but it could be later. LIke Heyho says. They probably get 8 hours sleep on a few week nights and catch up on the weekends if sport/parties don't get in the way!

I would like to know how the NHS/parents of teens get them to go to bed earlier. And go to sleep! Or are your DC just naturally tired by then and early wakers?

[nooka]

My 14 and 15 year old go to bed (lights off) at 10pm. They have always had set bedtimes, and it's never been an issue. We are otherwise pretty relaxed about rules and they both recognise that sleep is important. Also dd gets migraines if she gets over tired. They get up at 7 during the week and anything up to midday at weekends.

Most of their friends go to bed later than they do, especially ds's friends who he plays online with in the evenings, but they seem to accept that he's not available after 10pm.

[Sparklingbrook]

I have no idea what time my DS (15) goes to sleep. He always gets up on time for school.

[Theas18]

My 15yo up at 6.30 bed 10.30-11 if we are lucky. Given up nagging tbh. Every now and again I'll switch off the router at 10 to " encourage" her!!

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

I can't imagine my parents giving me a bedtime when I was 15! They trusted me to decide when I needed to go to bed, and I had to be up at 6.30am regardless so it would only be me that suffered if I didn't have enough sleep. Sometimes I went at 11 or even 12, sometimes if I was exhausted id go at 9.30.

[Arlagirl]

I go to bed before my 15 year old..between 9 and 10. I have no idea when he goes to sleep.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

I have no idea what time my 16 and 15 year old go to bed.

I tend to be in bed by 10 as I get up at 5.45. They are normally still awake when I go to bed.

I can't really imagine enforcing bedtime for a 15 year old.

[Ragwort]

My (nearly) 14 year old goes to bed around 9pm on school nights and I usually have to wake him up in the morning (still in bed now ). No set bed time at weekends but we all go to bed fairly early in this house and there is no tv/gadgets in his bedroom ............ although he sometimes sneaks his mobile up to bed with him.

It's tough but perhaps we just need to leave them to face the consequences of being late for school and getting a detention or whatever?

[Sunna]

DSs were sent to bed at 10 - 10.30. If they didn't sleep it was up to them but there was hell to pay if they weren't up and ready for school at the right time.

Life is too short for nagging.

[ssd]

my 2 roughly 10 to half 10

always get up in the morning

[Medge68]

Can I just tag on to this and ask about bedtime for 12 year olds? My DS thinks 10 to 10.30 is wholly appropriate and I don't! I think my older kids went at about 9 at this age - can't actually remember!! Thanks. If it's any help my 18 yo was going up at about 10 when she was in 6th form.