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What age do girls stop being so vile to eachother

(63 Posts)
lucydaniels4658 Fri 15-Aug-14 13:41:31

Getting sick and tired of the all consuming dramas DD and her friends have. Its been non stop in last year. Things are great for a week or two then they spend the next few weeks being awful. Freezing DD out ,slagging her off on social media etc . She has a large friendship circle with many lovely girls but a couple are leaders and seem to control the others . I feel like i'm getting to involved emotionally and feel like throttling them (dont worry i wouldn't do it only in my head). I know DD is no angel but she is almost to nice to her friends to keen to please . She is currently going into year 9 .Someone please tell me it calms down a bit on the drama front?! A few a year fine but nearly every week HEADACHE.

juliascurr Fri 15-Aug-14 13:44:42

wish I knew
dd yr 10
no signs of peace breaking out, just different alliances

ChillySundays Fri 15-Aug-14 13:48:45

It was still going until the day my DD left Y11/school. I am sure if they had all been in sixth form together it probably would have carried on.

lucydaniels4658 Fri 15-Aug-14 13:58:23

oh no :-( i was praying someone said " oh by year 10 its much better" . Things were bitchy when i was a teen but without social media and mobiles it died down by the next day! Now they all fuel the fire. Its actually driving me a bit mad i get anxious the second i hear of the latest drama its never ending.

ProfessorPickles Fri 15-Aug-14 14:16:06

It was like this until year 11 when I was at school, it was still a bit like it at college too but not as bad.

What's up with young girls? I rarely saw this sort of thing happening between the boys at school

Madlizzy Fri 15-Aug-14 14:19:39

I see women still behaving like this.

Madlizzy Fri 15-Aug-14 14:20:05

I see women still behaving like this.

Bunbaker Fri 15-Aug-14 14:20:05

I hate it. I agree that social media just fuels the fire. I had pretty much the same friendship group all the way through school, and while we fell out occasionally, it never lasted more than a day or two. I'm sure my mum didn't worry about me the way I worry about DD. Teenage friendships are so fragile these days.

dannydyerismydad Fri 15-Aug-14 14:20:37

Judging by some of the behaviour by posters on this forum, I fear never.

KernowKids Fri 15-Aug-14 14:22:19

I see women still behaving like this

^^ Sadly sometimes MN itself is proof that some will always behave like this. I think the best course of action is to encourage friendships, activities and interests outside of school for your dd.

lucydaniels4658 Fri 15-Aug-14 14:58:39

Oh no there's no hope then ;-) .
Friendships between girls are hideous.Not all of them but the queen bees seem to be our biggest issue. They are possesive,abusive and manipulative so if DD steps out of line half the school jumps on board.I don't even think the others like them they just go along with them rather than face their wrath. This is when a slightly scary sibling would come in handy ;-)

TomatoSorbetWoman Fri 15-Aug-14 14:59:20

It gets better in y 11. Honestly. Years of experience here

lucydaniels4658 Fri 15-Aug-14 15:10:49

Thank goodness.Thanks for giving me hope. Hate it! i recently found i can't believe its not banned bloody awful place . Just full of abuse.

ElephantsNeverForgive Fri 15-Aug-14 15:27:32

Some never start. DD1 and her out of school friends are lovely they have reached 16/17 with no angst.

DD2s bunch were OK in Y7, but were daft by the end of Y8. DD2 hasn't seen any of them this holiday, just her primary mate who goes to a different school.

Hopefully they will get better DD1s class did by the end of Y9 (not that she gets involved with her school peers anymore than absolutely essential, being the sort of child who gets a lot of nonsense for existing).

And sadly certain women, in their 40's still behave like they were 14

Agggghast Fri 15-Aug-14 17:26:00

It is not all groups of girls, neither of my DD's friends got involved with this, indeed DD1, 23, has just been on holiday with 3 of her friends who she has known since reception. They didn't just support her through teenage angst but her father's death and cancer. One of her friends had a baby at 17 who they all love and another had a 1 year marriage but they were all there for her.
However as a teacher I would say there is always one friendship group who live their lives as if they are in a soap opera, tedious for staff, I would imagine utterly exhausting for parents. But in school I would say these group problems end at Year 9, just leaving the horrors of the boyfriend issues!

BTW boys also have problems but usually resolved by a headlock!

lucydaniels4658 Fri 15-Aug-14 17:42:19

Yes not long if end of year 9.Im sure boys have issues but my friends sons don't seem to moan about it and make it all consuming for everyone. I do think they get addicted to the drama i always have to remind DD when shes gossiping remember when it was about you and it wasn't even true!Seems to have sunk in .

weegiemum Fri 15-Aug-14 17:44:34

My dd1 is in S3 (just started) and it's drama all the way! (Think this is roughly = to y10, she's just starting her exam courses).

Girls are horrible.

ToffeeMoon Fri 15-Aug-14 17:46:27

We didn't have social media in my day (the horror that must bring) but I reckon the bitchiness had stopped by about 14/15. Probably once the reality of exams had kicked in.

ElephantsNeverForgive Fri 15-Aug-14 17:56:52

I agree with the except for boys!

My BFF and another of our group had a massive falling out over a boy in sixth form. Then they realised they were the only two girls in A level geography and not speaking was going to make very dull lessons intolerable.

PuppyMonkey Fri 15-Aug-14 18:02:46

My experience with DD1 was that Year 9 was a blardy nightmare - she was ostracised and kicked out of the group she'd grown up with. Terribly upsetting time. hmm

Year 10 - she made new and much better friends but old group still attempted to exert their influence. Not as bad though , she learned how to deal with them.

Year 11, DD still with new group, more confident and the old group had given up goading her. In fact, there was actually something of a truce and a sort of respect between them all.

Went exactly the same for me, coincidentally grin

insanityscratching Fri 15-Aug-14 18:03:17

Dd's 21 and was never really all that bad tbh, I definitely got off very light compared to some of my friends and her friends' parents. I'd say age 13/14 she was moody and hormonal but it was fine from then. Mind you she tweeted a few weeks back "I'm 21, I've been good all my life, time to have some fun" so don't know if things are changing.

frames Fri 15-Aug-14 18:04:53

They dont. Women remain bitchy for the rest of their life.

dexter73 Fri 15-Aug-14 19:01:12

I would agree with year 11. My dd is going into year 13 in September and there is rarely any drama these days. They are actually really quite sensible now!

Primrose123 Fri 15-Aug-14 19:15:47

Does it ever end?

DD was bullied in primary school, there were queen bees and followers and one of the queen bees took a real dislike to her. She moved schools in year 7 and made good friends, including a best friend. At the start of year 11 her best friend changed completely. She wasn't nasty exactly but she dumped DD and stopped bothering with her.

DD is now best friends with a group of boys, it's much easier, but I wish she had good girl friends too.

bunnybing Fri 15-Aug-14 20:07:26

I would have said that it's generally bad from primary through to yr 9 - when it starts to ease off because they are more interested in boys.
Obviously some comments on this thread contradict this!!

Am sure social media actually causes loads of problems, at least when we were young we could forget things at home.

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