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reasonable parenting ?!!

(4 Posts)
constantlyconfused Thu 14-Aug-14 14:59:09

I am finding parenting a teen pretty challenging ! My DD is 14 and can be a sweet lovely girl on the other hand she can be the total opposite. It is like living with two people she is so unpredictable. Her moods usually surround her social life . She is in a large social circle of about twenty girls most are lovely two dominate and can be really vile . They turn on them randomly and the others try to please them . DD is very anxious paranoid and withdrawn if its her turn to be outcast . So unhealthy and as much as i've tried to get her to cut these two girls out easier said than done i suppose. If everything's all lovely between them i have the opposite problem constant aggro about me being the worst mum ever "everyone else is allowed to" .They want to have constant meet ups in local parks till midnight .If it was a one off or rare it wouldn't be so bad but they are more or less daily so i have the same row daily!She slept at a friends whose parents let them stay out till midnight . Am i being unreasonable?! I want her to be happy but these meet ups make me feel very uneasy .Usually because of the drama that occurs at them! There seems to be no happy medium in our house.She is not good at asking she plans then announces as an example she ignored all my texts yesterday to let me know what her plans were for that day so im stuck in limbo then says "oh sorry i did reply it must have failed" .

heyday Sun 17-Aug-14 09:35:46

Life with a teenager can be hell. Staying out in the park until midnight is crazy. They may well be obtaining alcohol and unsupervised teenagers may well be experimenting sexually. I would say that 10 0'clock is late enough for her being out. She is in the midst of massive rebellion and is trying desperately to fit in to her peer group even though it is a painful experience.
Does she have friends round to her house as at least then you would be able to keep a bit of an eye on them.
She has to have clear boundaries and consequences for breaking those boundaries. Do try to take her out for a girly shopping time or coffee/lunch from time to time to try to stay connected in a good way as the endless arguments can really wear you down so any positive mother-daughter time can be precious.

adeucalione Sun 17-Aug-14 13:11:08

Does she pay for her own phone? If not I'd threaten to cancel the contract if she doesn't respond to your texts in a timely manner (and follow through if necessary).

chocoluvva Sun 17-Aug-14 17:19:40

My 15YO DS is allowed out to the park until it gets dark. He has a nice bunch of friends but I've told him that teenagers out after dark give the impression that they're up to no good even if they're innocent.

I used to tell mine to keep specific days free for 'fun' day trips. They sometimes complained beforehand but they usually enjoyed them - though, I don't work in the summer so it's easier for me.

A good quality vitamin and mineral supplement for women of child-bearing age might help a bit and definitely won't hurt.

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