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Has anyone ejected a 16-17 yr old from their house and refused to have them back?

(30 Posts)
M2GMOJK Fri 06-Jun-14 18:33:20

Please don't pass judgement or criticise my post. No-one knows what I have been through. I just need constructive advice on what is likely to happen if I have my son removed this weekend.

Sisi13 Fri 06-Jun-14 18:34:55

Hi. So sorry you

Sisi13 Fri 06-Jun-14 18:37:44

Are going thru this. He can't be forced back to the family home and you don't have to take him back since he is 16. He needs to go to the council and present as homeless most areas have hostels for young people. Since he is estranged from you he will be entitled to income support and housing benefit.

Does he want to leave?

M2GMOJK Fri 06-Jun-14 18:38:54

No,he's refusing to go. I am going to have to wait until he goes out and pack his things.

JamJimJam Fri 06-Jun-14 18:39:15

No. I have a (just) 16 year old but thankfully, my answer is no.

But I am sure you must be desperate to even consider this, so hopefully someone with experience will come along.

Sisi13 Fri 06-Jun-14 18:44:27


Joules68 Fri 06-Jun-14 18:45:33

If he goes to a hostel/council/YMCA they will call social services

They will then speak to you and open a 'case' if necessary. Where is he being removed to?

Sisi13 Fri 06-Jun-14 18:46:37

My phone seems to be playing up tonight. Grrr! Can he stay with family or friends for a couple of nights to give you some space. Plus you can organise him somewhere suitable to stay long term. Its Friday evening and council and other organisations that may be able to help are closed.

M2GMOJK Fri 06-Jun-14 18:49:36

He has nowhere to go, I have nowhere to send him. It's Friday night and I don't know what to do. I have spoken to Family Lives who have advised me to wait until he goes out, pack his bags and call the police when he comes back as he is likely to kick the door in.

M2GMOJK Fri 06-Jun-14 18:58:08

He has nowhere to go, I have nowhere to send him. It's Friday night and I don't know what to do. I have spoken to Family Lives who have advised me to wait until he goes out, pack his bags and call the police when he comes back as he is likely to kick the door in.

Hels20 Fri 06-Jun-14 19:01:14

Read CouthyMow's thread "I'm Done" - she was forced
To do the same.

So sorry that you are going through this.

M2GMOJK Fri 06-Jun-14 19:26:42

He has a case open already. We have had the 'support' of our local Multi Agency Team for the last couple of years, he also has been through CAMHS three times as a child. We have moved house once to get him away from certain 'friends' and have moved school twice. There us literally nothing I haven't tried and he is now nearly 17 and will no longer listens to a word I say and I know I shouldn't have to live in fear in my own home.

Fletcherl Fri 06-Jun-14 19:30:42

No but I took one in.

Doinmummy Fri 06-Jun-14 19:34:49

I'll watch this with interest.

I can totally sympathise Op. Have been there too.

Doinmummy Fri 06-Jun-14 19:37:40

If anyone pops up and passes judgement ( like they did with me ) take no notice.

If you haven't been in this position before with IMPOSSIBLE teens then you have no idea the limits to which parents are tested.

Stay strong and keep yourself safe x

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Fri 06-Jun-14 19:40:01

Happened to me when I was 16 and then 4 years later it happened again to my brother when he was 16. He deserved it, I definitely didn't btw.

Joules68 Fri 06-Jun-14 21:21:03

I've been there with my own dd from age 13 to 16.... She's nearly 18 now and back to the girl she once was... Almost

They turn that corner eventually

Chin up op. Hope it improves for you

beatingwings Sun 08-Jun-14 12:04:55

No I wouldn't. Part of any problem lies with the parent, not just the teenager.

Joules68 Sun 08-Jun-14 12:59:33

Ha ha.....

M2GMOJK Sun 08-Jun-14 22:25:12

I'm sorry is this funny in some way? I'm missing the joke...

TheSarcasticFringehead Sun 08-Jun-14 22:29:18

I think she was laughing at beatingwings statement. No, I haven't, but my BIL was forced to leave when he was 16. He was violent and aggressive, assaulted his parents and siblings and I know my PILs agonised over trying to get him out, but it was the safest thing for them all. He ended up in hostel. Now 29, still has significant MH problems but is a lot better, holding down a job and had an okay relationship with my PILs and DH.

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara Sun 08-Jun-14 22:41:31

I know someone who had to do just that, and the police were very helpful (he was known to them as violent and dangerous, so she didn't have to convince them iyswim)

I am so sorry you are going through this OP sad

Ignore the idiots implying this is somehow your fault, it isn't. Your son is old enough to make his own choices and sometimes nothing can stop them from making the wrong ones.

ILoveCoreyHaim Sun 08-Jun-14 22:49:15

Yes my dps ejected me at 14 as advised by SS. I also deserved it. I was placed in a girls hostel for 2 years

M2GMOJK Sun 08-Jun-14 22:59:38

Thankyou. My ds has been at his gfds house for the weekend and is going to visit the housing authority tomorrow on the advice of Shelter, Family Lives and Social Services.
My ds hates me atm and this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have to go to work tomorrow in the knowledge that he is presenting himself as homeless.

gamerchick Sun 08-Jun-14 23:03:11

If you kick him out social services will get involved and he'll end up in supported housing.

Might be the making of him tbh... it isn't a hostel, they go into a block of bedsits with staff on the ground floor and taught about bills and the real world but he will have to present as homeless before they'll help.

It will be hard but sometimes something has to give.

Good luck.

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