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My son is 14 - is he too young for the sex education talk?

(111 Posts)
shakethetree Fri 23-May-14 13:24:35

Ds is 14.5 and we think he has a girlfriend, we know it's nothing serious but I'm wondering if I should talk to him? I don't want to embarrass him ( or even worse encourage him ) but at the same time I want to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. Would talking about pregnancy & sti's be too much at this age?

juneybean Fri 23-May-14 13:25:40

No I'd say it was a bit late...

AWombWithoutARoof Fri 23-May-14 13:25:52

Good lord no, I was having sex at his age!

SavoyCabbage Fri 23-May-14 13:26:22


Hurry up I say.

CatsCantTwerk Fri 23-May-14 13:26:24

You have left it far too late op!

MirandaWest Fri 23-May-14 13:27:17

Do you mean he knows nothing about sex?

If so you have left it very late.

Hassled Fri 23-May-14 13:27:49

By this stage I'm sure he will have had some sex education at school where they cover condoms, safe sex etc so he won't be clueless. I'd maybe wait until it is serious - although a general "have you ever been taught about condoms at school?" might be a good opener if you do decide to have the talk.

mousmous Fri 23-May-14 13:28:17

too old!
have the talk and give him a pack of condoms.

LeBearPolar Fri 23-May-14 13:28:41

Is this a wind-up?!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Fri 23-May-14 13:29:56

Um, what have you told him so far? Agree that it's very very late... (though not TOO late obvi)

shakethetree Fri 23-May-14 13:30:49

I'm just looking at the school website now to see what's covered ( & when )

CarCiKoTab Fri 23-May-14 13:31:09

No you are definitely doing the right thing. They need to know!

NigellasDealer Fri 23-May-14 13:31:24


shakethetree Fri 23-May-14 13:32:51

I haven't said anything to him at all - he's only just started going out at weekends & he's home by 6pm, I know he isn't having sex so I just haven't mentioned it.

Helpys Fri 23-May-14 13:33:17

Are you talking birds and bees or respect and emotional maturity. Both conversations should have been going on for a decade- please talk to him now.

winnertakesitall Fri 23-May-14 13:33:21

Agree with the others- he may already be active, and pretty aware. I'd sit down with him, and run through exactly what he is aware of or not.

"So- what do you know about contraception? Well, of course you should always use condoms, but if you need a back up method, what do you know about x,y,z...?"

"What do you know about STIs... well, yes those are the obvious ones... but what about x,y,z?"

Also, maybe a bit of emotional stuff- as I was reading another thread where an OPs son was devastated about being 'dumped' during GCSE time- and maybe it would be worth talking over some of these sorts of things, and making sure that he knows that the communication channels are always open.

Just be yourself, and that should avoid embarrassment. I think that there is no way that you chatting about sex with him will 'encourage' him! Teenage hormones will take care of that either now, or later!!!

Northumberlandlass Fri 23-May-14 13:33:47

My son is Yr5 and is having 'Puberty' talk next month. Are you saying OP that you have never spoken to your son about sex / 'The Talk'? Has he never asked questions?

I'm not convinced this is real. 14 ????

LeBearPolar Fri 23-May-14 13:34:38

How do you know he isn't having sex?

But you must have talked to him at some point over the last few years about sex, pregnancy and so on? I mean, he must know where babies come from! confused

MinesAPintOfTea Fri 23-May-14 13:35:02

Far too late, but you can only start now, not 5 years ago.

winnertakesitall Fri 23-May-14 13:35:17

And how do you know that he isn't having sex? My folks probably didn't think I was having sex (and was only a year older than your DS)- but it was happening!!!

AbbeyBartlet Fri 23-May-14 13:36:58

Another poster wanting to know how you can be so sure that he isn't having sex....

I didn't tell my parents when I started, and they were fairly relaxed about that sort of thing.

NigellasDealer Fri 23-May-14 13:37:13

I am really not convinced this is real

CatsCantTwerk Fri 23-May-14 13:37:18

I knew about sex from a young age but not because my parents discussed it with me, it was never mentioned or talked about at all. I learnt through my peers.

I was pregnant at 15!

shakethetree Fri 23-May-14 13:40:22

He's only 14, that's very young to be having sex isn't it?
I know for sure he isn't having sex, all he does is go to school & plays football at the weekend.
But I will talk to him.

Impatientismymiddlename Fri 23-May-14 13:41:28

This has got to be a wind up or a mistype. I wonder if the OP meant 11.5 years old.

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