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Can I leave very nearly 14yr old DD at home alone overnight (at her request)

(22 Posts)
MN216 Tue 13-May-14 19:27:02

DH and I hav an invite to a party in June - we are staying overnight in the same town as the party (about 40 miles from here). Very nearly 14yr old DD has an event in the same town as the party the next day. Should be simple - she comes with us, stays over up there and we go to the event. However, she is asking if she can stay at home overnight on her own and then get a lift to the event where we would meet her. She says she would prefer to be in her own bed and get ready for the event in her own room etc My feeling is she is too young to stay alone overnight, but I can't put a finger on why, on what I am worried about, and at what age I would feel happy about it. We live in what is virtually a gated estate, with very good neighbours all around, on whom she could call if necessary and who would be more than happy to pop in to check up on her during the course of the evening. Any views?

17leftfeet Tue 13-May-14 19:28:45

Too young

I would think 16 ish for over night

ImperfectTense Tue 13-May-14 19:30:27

There was a thread fairly recently about a sleepover that turned into a disastrous teenage party - better not worth the risk!

MN216 Tue 13-May-14 19:32:32

17leftfeet - i think you are probably right. ImperfectTense - I genuinely wouldn't worry about that being the issue with DD, although her nearly 16 yr old DB would be a different matter!!

TheWave Tue 13-May-14 19:34:54

Too young and it could be quite unnerving late at night as she's not used to it even with neighbours around.

feckawwf Tue 13-May-14 19:41:24

I wouldn't do it, just started leaving my 14yr old in for quiet nights out with DH (cinema, local bar) overnights are a long way off yet

eatmydust Tue 13-May-14 19:43:20

Even on an almost gated estate with good neighbours, I would say 13 is way too young to leave her overnight.

napoleonsnose Tue 13-May-14 19:43:53

I woildn't do it either. Have a DD,16 and DS, 14 and its only in the last year we've started going out for an evening and leaving them alone. Wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them overnight yet though.

Mildpanic Tue 13-May-14 19:44:03

No, I really wouldn't. Far too young!
At 14 they really do think they know better and will be very convincing in their persuasion. It could all go so wrong on a number of levels, don't put her in that situation please!

PaulinesPen Tue 13-May-14 19:46:07

I wouldn't. My dd is similar age and v sensible, but I wouldn't leave her overnight.

MN216 Tue 13-May-14 19:46:13

Glad I posted, thank you for the consistent replies, I am now convinced that she really is too young and that i am not being irrational and can therefore hold firm in the face of teenage cries of "it's not fair...". Thank you oh wise ones smile

tryingtocatchthewind Tue 13-May-14 19:47:03

I wouldn't do it especially as it seems to make more sense for her to be with you in the town where both events are happening

ItsBritneyBitch Tue 13-May-14 20:01:49

I used to get left overnight sometimes at that age. No wild parties stayed up a bit later than normal but I thought it was fine. hmm

SirChenjin Tue 13-May-14 20:04:07

No, I wouldn't - we live in a naice area, and we've only just started to leave DS(16.5) overnight by himself. I think 13/going on 14 is still too young.

TheFairyCaravan Tue 13-May-14 20:10:17

I wouldn't have left mine at 13 and we live on a Forces base 'behind the wire'.

littlegreenlight1 Tue 13-May-14 20:46:47

No way.
DD is 16.5 and now allowed to stay "alone" with my brother (28) at our parents house (they live in spain half the year, he house sits and says while she is allowed to stay, he is not being "responsible" therefore I deem her as "alone"). She hasnt stayed in our house alone (well at least not with my knowledge, cos there was one time when I was away and she stayed here because she didnt like the party she was at, so Im not soooooo mad as she made a sensible decision, people were drunk etc)

This came up last summer with her being 15.5 ish and I wouldnt have dreamt of it. And she is def a sensible girl.

DS 14 is sitting here with me and I couldnt imagine leaving him. Not because he isnt trustworthy but I think he'd hate it!!

Bowlersarm Tue 13-May-14 20:47:27


littlegreenlight1 Tue 13-May-14 20:47:32

oh in case that sounds bizarre, she stays at my parents as its much much closer to work for her! We dont live in a good area for public transport!

bigTillyMint Tue 13-May-14 20:56:41

Agree with the others - not at that age.

We have been leaving ours home alone in the evenings for a couple of years, and nearly always locally. When we get in, they are always in bed (sometimes asleepwink) and nothing untoward has ever happened. However I still don't yet feel happy about leaving them overnight.

DS is 13 and is very responsible and sensible but I wouldn't feel happy about leaving him at home alone overnight with us in another town (and probably incapable of driving back in an emergency!) DD is 14 and I wouldn't leave her overnight yet either -even though she is usually responsible and sensible, you never know what they might get up to!

SoonToBeSix Wed 14-May-14 00:40:11

No too young

NearTheWindymill Sat 24-May-14 23:04:59

No. Too young. Our dd is almost 16 and it would still be a no and she's very very sensible. And it would have been no for DS too at 18 because he would have had a party

Nocomet Sat 24-May-14 23:22:23

I'd leave my two together 13&16, but I'm not certain I'd leave DD2 all night on her own. She'd be fine. She gets left for a few hours in the dark quite often, but she'd still feel a bit young.

DD1 did stay in a house with her three 16y friends last year, but they are very sensible. Also the house owner is very strict, no way would they have held any kind of party (even if they could, in our bus free area, gather anyone together)

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