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(8 Posts)
Strawberrybubble5 Sun 11-May-14 23:25:17

Should I be able to check my 14 year old's facebook? I dont want to check private messages etc just the part of the page which is public to her friends? Shes being secretive and wont show me which has now ovbisously tested my trust.

Madlizzy Sun 11-May-14 23:32:46

I know passwords and am friends with my teenagers on fb. I don't check messages generally, but I certainly would if I had concerns. is tell her that either she's honest with you, or you pull the plug on her Internet access.

Charlotteamanda1 Tue 13-May-14 06:37:14

It's normal to be secretive at that age.
Option one - have a sneaky look every now and then if she leaves it on her computer.
Option two -insist you look and say your going to stop her using it if you can't look once in a blue moon.
Option 3 - add her on Facebook. The threat of that one will prob get her to compromise to do option two.

YeGodsAndLittleFishes Tue 13-May-14 06:44:06

Their future prospective employers are likely to look over their facebook accounts. Most of DCs relatives are friends with them. A couple of years back one of DD's friends swore a lot in a conversation on her wall, and when I next saw him I asked him not to do this and to delete/edit what was there. They tended to all chat in private, using messenger after that and have since moved on to other (anonymous) social networks.

Bunbaker Tue 13-May-14 06:59:58

"Their future prospective employers are likely to look over their facebook accounts."

How can they do that if the privacy levels are set at their highest?

YeGodsAndLittleFishes Tue 13-May-14 07:07:20

That's a big if and relies on all their friends having privacy settings set as tightly as them. One friend in the conversation without privacy settings set can make the whole conversation open access. Facebook also swap around settings now and then and have been known to do resets which have affected privacy settings.

It's just a good idea to think of it that way. Friends of friends parents could well be interviewing them for a job one day.

bigTillyMint Tue 13-May-14 07:32:28

I am friends with both my DC, but TBH they rarely post anything on their walls - just do the private messenger. I think that all teens cotton on pretty quickly that they do not want all and sundry looking at their pictures/conversations and switch to other more private social networking.

Claybury Tue 13-May-14 09:02:42

DS blocked me on Facebook when he was 13, when I log in as me I can't see him at all.
Last month I set up a second account for myself with a different name - I was then easily able to search for him and I could see some pictures of him, as this new me wasn't blocked. I did this so I could see what other people ( perspective sixth form colleges for example) would see. I told him and he was surprised, he was of course annoyed at first but I didn't reprimand him over what I saw but warned him that what he puts online is public property.
We were told by school to tell students to clean up their facebooks before applying to uni. Better still, be sensible about putting up pictures of yourself that could be open to misinterpretation.
I don't think it is realistic to have open access to your DC's Facebook.

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