Please talk to me about your DCs chore routine(25 Posts)
So, we've had Meltdown City here in the Goober household. Apparently, I am the meanest mother, ever, for expecting a 10-15 min chore per day (even at weekends - gasp!).
Surely this is letting our teens off lightly? I did start saying 'when I was your age ...', but this was met with 'yeah, but that was like, Victorian times'.
Please let me know what you expect <begins new rota> Thank you.
My teens do no chores at all. I am racking my brains to think what they do that constitutes a chore. DS will sometimes walk the dog. The battles to get them to do stuff have caused such arguments that I don't even ask now. They will have a shock when they leave home, what can I say.
Help tidy up after supper, ie clear table and put things away. Clean washing is left on their beds for them to put away and keep bedrooms tidy(ish). That's it and think they have it very easy compared to many of their peers!
Claybury I am so pleased to hear somebody else admit to that Actually that's not fair on DS - he does loads unasked. Dishwasher a couple of times a week, shopping, own washing if he needs something and his room is always spotless.
DD is the other hand is purely ornamental and I've gone from a position of "choosing my battles" to just being pleased she goes to school / work!
Yes, about 10-15 minutes a day.
Combination of their own stuff (keeping bedroom tidy, putting laundry away) and communal stuff (emptying dishwasher, preparing dinner).
Less during exam season, slightly more during school holidays.
Another one here sick to the bloody back teeth of the lack of help from teens, actually now adults.
I have tried lists and rotas over the years combined with the occasional screaming meltdown but I nag on and on and on...
Dh and I was just talking about the summer when they will all be home and God help them if I comem home yet again to dirty dishes...
I no longer do their ironing at all, and therefore neither do they. Everything is worn unironed. I don't do their rooms at all...same.
It infuriates me that they can walk past wet towels on the floor, overflowing bins and not lift a fucking finger.
Wish they would all leave home.
In my ( their) defence they are 15 and 16 and are studying far harder for exams than I did at their age. I also insist on music practice. Whilst they are using their time productively I don't really resent the lack of help as I feel I am supporting them and they really don't have loads of 'spare' time.
However, earlier posts have just reminded me what a wind up the school holidays are..
Thank you, we've had these conversations literally over and over with the DCs. I also lay off them during tests etc, but the rest of the time, they should do simple tasks. They just bloody huff and moan, it does my head in. Do the chore, move on! It is exasperating!
I'm failing to get mine to do chores even with the incentive of pocket money. I don't want to pay as I think they are jobs they should do and not be rewarded for but do far nothing is working. Some friends have it all sorted but not me. Mind you I'm my own worst enemy as I do find it easier to have then obeying in the computer so I can just get on with things.
With a "picking my battles in the run up to exams" allowance for less....
My 3 (they are 17, 15, and 12)
Cook the evening meal each at least once a week
Obviously - get their own breakfasts and lunches
One of them has to unload the dishwasher each day, one lay the table / get everyone drinks for the meal
Obviously have to put own clothes away when come back clean / change own beds / keep room in the state they are prepared to live in it
If they want anything ironing, then they iron it.
Then it's doing odd things on request - occasionally put the shopping away if it's done when they are there (isn't, usually) or go and collect the washing baskets from round the house or go and collect rubbish from all the bins around the house or put the recycling out type of job, but those are all a bit ad hoc.
Put away their ironed clothes and dirty ones in washing basket.
One of clear table, empty dishwasher or load it each day
Pick up after themselves (no discarded glasses etc)
Hoover the entire house between them at the weekend (4floors, 3 dc's)
Get own breakfast, often lunch at weekends/holidays
In return they get £5 per week, mobile contracts paid, fed, watered and loved.
I don't allow moaning.
12, 14, 15
Also putting the shopping away by choice because they spot any treats I've bought before I have a chance to hide them.
One job a day, which could be swapping the washing, cleaning the kitchen or bathroom, cooking dinner. They don't get paid for it, I expect them to be fully functioning members of the household. They're 15.
I'm a SAHM.
My girls are 14 and 9 and are expected by default to not make work ie
- hang up coats, put away shoes etc
- tidy up after themselves
- put clothes in laundry basket
- take up their own stuff if it's at the bottom of the stairs
They are expected to help when asked eg
- lay the table / clear the table
- help with cooking
- take up stuff at the bottom of the stairs to correct room
- help sort/hang up the washing
- find coathangars
They each only have one regular chore
- 9yr old rubbish bins collection from every room weekly
- 14yr old put away all clean washing
I am embarrassed to say my DD 14 does very little. She will side the table if asked but that is about it.
I even muck her horse out for her every day.
And have a bacon butty and a brew ready for her when she gets in from school.
And her breakfast ready for her when she comes down in a morning.
She is going to be useless when she leaves home isn't she?
Put dirty clothes in the wash basket (they can both put a load on, but I'd rather sort it all etc myself), put away clean clothes, keep their rooms tidy, load and unload dishwasher, feed pets, tidy their things away.
DS also puts recycling / bins out, mows lawns and helps with DIY.
I'm currently listening to a 12year old girl rant about how mean I am because I asked her to do the washing up. She and her brother tidy their rooms, share looking after their two bunnies (feeding and cleaning out0, get their breakfast and packed lunch sorted, hover, dust, clear the drainer and put the recycling out. Others on request.
She did not cooperate with a task at the weekend and had her kindle and phone removed. To make up for it I suggested the washing up... she has now been sent to her room, still doesn't have her phone or kindle and will lose out on a friend coming over. She 'doesn't care'. What more can I do?
I have a 13 year old dd who , with a lot of huffing and puffing will do things like washing up and emptying dishwasher, taking out recycling etc. She will set the table and so on, and if nagged will do other chores when I ask. She is fairly good at helping with her younger siblings and will help tidy their toys if asked. That said most things are a battle and I have taken to hanging her freshly ironed clothes up myself as I was getting so fed up of finding stuff I had ironed screwed up or whatever or just shoved in a drawer- drives me mad!!!
As for other stuff like washing - despite being shown several times how to operate the machine she argued yesterday that I had never even shown her how to use it , and that she didn't know what programme to use etc!!
The biggest problem I have is the "half a job" carry on - e.g empties dishwasher but leaves half stuff on worktop claiming she doesn't know where it goes, or leaving cutlery on draining board cos that's not part of the drying up - the list goes on !
I seem to constantly bang on about tidying things away and making sure she's got her stuff together for the next day and so on. DH thinks I should leave her to it, if she forgets her pe kit or whatever she will learn. I prefer to pre-empt such things and try to encourage her to be more organised but not sure what its achieving!!!
My (almost) 13 year old ds does the washing up after tea every other day, keeps his bedroom tidy, brings down his dirty washing and puts away his clean wasg, he also empties all the bins in the house twice a week and puts the big bins out on bin collection day.
Also, on a Saturday morning I write down every job that needs doing in the house, the internet and all tvs are then switched off and me, ds and both dd's (aged 6 and 9) work our way through the list and nobody is allowed to stop til all the jobs are crossed off. It usually takes about 1.5 hours to get it all done.
The Saturday morning routine does generate a lot of moaning but it's non negotiable and I refuse to turn the broadband or the virgin (tv) back on until it's done.
Mine help when asked rather than having regular chores. However as a general rule, DD1 puts the washing on the line, gets it in, helps with the dogs. DD2 wipes up regularly (more than once a day), looks after her cat, feeds the gerbils and cleans them out, and hoovers.
Both are expected to make tea and coffee for other family members, put their own clothes washing away, and tidy away their own stuff like scraping plates and hanging up coats.
DD1 is 18, DD2 14 but they've been helping out for a long time. I'm not willing to be the family domestic skivvy - everyone has to pull their weight. I don't take moaning - if they want clothes washed, food cooked and lifts to places (this is the key one! ) they must do their bit in return.
Only in the last 2 months have i set my Ds's chores, they are 8 and 13.
I was sick of them sitting doing nothing helpful while i do everything on my own around the home.
So i set them some jobs, not very hard jobs mind you.
So for doing them they get 2 hours on computer games each day...That reward was their choice, they only seem bothered about playing their games as rewards.
They both have set jobs each, eg- Feed the cat, make their beds, take the rubbish out, hoover downstairs after dinner, dry up and put away dishes, tidy bedroom if it's messy each day, and a couple of others.
I sat them down and told them that they don't have to do any jobs if they don't want to, but if they chose not to then they wont get any time on their computer games that day. At all.
Every job has to be done, if they want to play games that day.
And surprisingly, they do their jobs every day.
We had a few blips with my 13 ds refusing to do things some days, but he soon got fed up of not being able to play his games and just does the jobs now.
It works for us and it also restricts them playing games for hours on end.
Nothing serious. I let them clean their own rooms (I have three kids 15, 13 9), they unload the dishwasher in the morning (all three work together), walk our dog some times, fold laundry and put it away (each their own), put dishes away after dinner, load the dishwasher. That is about it.
My 16 and 15 year olds have to
Cook dinner once a week
Clean up after dinner once a week
Walk the dog in the morning on alternate days
Fold up and put away clean laundry after school every day
Hoover alternate days
Clean bathroom once a week each
They also are responsible for washing, drying and ironing their sports kit, they have training 4 days out of 7
my lot all pitch in, apart from cooking really, and that is to be stepped up with the looming summer holidays and dd finishing college.
they all do it for the joy of it,
hahahahahaah but no financial incentives!
They've always been involved in it at some level or other since they were able.
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