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Dd 13 dropping out of activities

(11 Posts)
Megan001 Sat 10-May-14 08:10:24

Dd is involved in music , she plays the violin which she enjoys and never complains about going to practice. She does that twice a week. However she also plays hockey twice a week and is reasonable at it and also went to a drama thing on a fri eve with some friends. She has since Easter decided to just drop out of the sport and drama. She says she had too much going on and just wants to relax. I know it's very easy to say make her go but the reality of making a 13 year old same height as me do something is not really that easy. She is happy in school and goes to her music practice twice a week. She skypes her friends and interacts by phone with them. We live rural so she wouldn't see them too frequently which is why I liked her to be involved. Do I just leaver her at music only

LastingLight Sat 10-May-14 11:46:32

Did something maybe happen with the friends at sport/drama and that's why she doesn't want to go any more?

Megan001 Sat 10-May-14 13:51:49

Thanks. No I don't think so. The hockey training has got more intense as they are getting older and I think she dislikes killing herself running around . just can't stand the bad moods and fighting involved to make her go and I know music is her first love .

LastingLight Sat 10-May-14 14:02:35

As someone who loves music and hates sports I can totally relate! Could you tell her that you would like her to do some exercise if she drops hockey so she has to go for a run / jump on the trampoline / go to gym? Also explain to her that you are worried about her social life if she no longer goes to hockey or drama, maybe she wants to continue with the drama for a bit and see what life is like without hockey? I don't think it's worth forcing her to do things she doesn't want to.

NameChangeAnon Sat 10-May-14 14:05:32

Why not let her drop an activity, one at a time perhaps? Maybe school work is becoming harder and if not now it will in her GCSE years.

Is she tired? I went through a phase in my teenage years when I almost couldn't get enough sleep and just wanted to sit down all the time. I know it's anecdotal that teenagers are lazy and lie in bed all day but I think there's more than a hint of truth in it.

hockeymama Sat 10-May-14 19:08:46

Check she feels happy with the kit. A firm sports bra is vital for teen girls to feel confidant to run!

ThreeLannistersOneTargaryen Sat 10-May-14 20:32:42

I think some of this is normal at this age. In the past six months, DS1 (14) has stopped:
Piano lessons (after 5 years)
The Scout movement (after 8 years)
Rugby (after 3 years).

So long as he is still active and does something, I'm not going to fight him on this one. He has very little choice about how he spends his time at school, so I want to give him some autonomy over the rest of his time.

Megan001 Sat 10-May-14 22:03:21

Thanks for all the replies. Yes school work takes up a lot of time and homework could be late after all the activities and she loves chill out time at home. Have told her she will be walking with me a few eve a week for 30 mins. Threel your lad sounds similar.

foxdongle Sun 11-May-14 12:20:16

my dd 12 has dropped;
Guides (I was expecting that) and I left my guides at similar age.
St Johns ambulance (not expecting)

But she has carried on with horse riding and is thinking about joining air cadets in yr 8. Mainly though she wants to just hang out with friends.

I think they just change and I wasn't going to force her to go -waste of time and money.

specialsubject Sun 11-May-14 12:48:58

everybody is allowed to change hobbies, at any age. She may now be finding that 'team' games are often anything but, and be bored with excessive competition. Doesn't mean she hates sport in total but time for a change.

liveoutloud Fri 16-May-14 18:38:12

My DD is also 13 and dropped her sport activity; it was a big mistake from my side to let her do it. Six months later she does not get out of the bed, claims to be depressed and is communicating with a group of people online who are also depressed and cutting. I am so desperate but also angry at myself for letting her drop sports. Kids today are not like us. I used to spend all my free time outside playing with my friends, no time to be depressed. Kids today do not know what to do, if they are not on electronics, they just sit around doing nothing and being bored. I say, keep them busy.

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