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Are all 15 year olds taking booze to parties?

(112 Posts)
Kbear Fri 11-Apr-14 18:14:16

apparently my DD is the only one whose parents don't buy her alcohol to take to parties...

I am remembering being 15 and drinking cider and hiding my drunk friends from my parents

I am remembering DH being the same and worse - so we have no room to talk about underage drinking but of course we don't want our DD doing it! haha

I'm not in AIBU but you're all going to tell me I am, right?....

advise please and sympathetic hugs about parenting teenagers smile and boundaries and letting go and other difficult stuff!

NurseyWursey Fri 11-Apr-14 19:34:39

When I was 15 nearly everyone in my year drank regularly

LynetteScavo Fri 11-Apr-14 19:37:04

I definitely don't give ds alcohol and he and his friends aren't interested in drinking anyway.... Sue that'll change over the next year or two, but I won't be supplying them.

TheZeeTeam Fri 11-Apr-14 19:39:57

No but the drinking age is 21 here so I wouldn't want to get arrested! Nearly all the parties my sons' friends have seem to end up at our house and none of them have ever brought alcohol or drugs. They're 17.

Although I think a legal drinking age of 21 is a little crazy IMO, I do like that his liver isn't getting a regular thrashing before its ready.

holmessweetholmes Fri 11-Apr-14 19:48:24

Didn't 15 year-olds always do this? I'm always a bit grin that loads of people drank underage themselves but are quite convinced that their own dc wouldn't dream of doing so!

Kbear Fri 11-Apr-14 20:14:15

the fact that we did it is precisely the reason we are worried sick lol

DS1 is 16. I'm happy for him to have a beer or two at family gatherings (he's 6'3 and built - I don't think it has any impact on him whatsoever) however, like a couple of people have already said, I don't and won't buy him alcohol to take to parties (not that he goes to many!)

I'll admit I was drinking fairly regularly at that age. DH (then just BF) is older than me and we were boring old farts who sat in grubby pubs for our exciting nights out, but my parents wouldn't be providing me with drink. I looked old enough to buy my own...

Looiloo79 Fri 11-Apr-14 20:24:43

I buy my 16 yr old dd drinks to take to parties! Does that make me a bad mum? I buy her it so she doesn't drink something she shouldn't and she's happy with what she gets! I'd rather it be that way than doing what I did when I was a teenager and drank anything in sight without my parents knowing!

kaumana Fri 11-Apr-14 20:27:28

holmes I have stated that my peer group, at the age of 15, were drinking alcohol.

However, my prior life/ DS's current peer group/online media friends has lead to full and frank discussions from an early age.

TBH the idea that alcohol is a norm is really worrying to me and I say that with a glass of Pinot in hand.

PortofinoRevisited Fri 11-Apr-14 20:30:09

I was in the pub drinking tequila sunrises purchased by Royal Marines at 15.. blush I turned out OK. I would be happy with the softer end of the alcohol scale - beer/cider etc. I would not recommend my grandad's peapod wine that I stole as it made us all sick as pigs.

PortofinoRevisited Fri 11-Apr-14 20:31:42

I am locking up my PFB of course.

kaumana Fri 11-Apr-14 20:39:56

porto Peapod wine?!

PortofinoRevisited Fri 11-Apr-14 21:11:08

Jeez it was bad.

SirChenjin Fri 11-Apr-14 21:16:04

I bought DS 2 small bottles of low alcohol cider when he was 15 - he was going to a party at his friend's house, someone we've known for ages.

I would much rather that I knew he was drinking and where, and the rule here is that if he comes home drunk he doesn't go to the next party (they are not a regular occurence). So far, he's behaved himself.

TheAwfulDaughter Fri 11-Apr-14 21:16:55

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

kaumana Fri 11-Apr-14 21:29:35

porto grin That made me LOL!

TheZeeTeam Sat 12-Apr-14 00:10:44

Tbh, I think the whole "well, I did it and it didn't do me any harm" mantra is probably quite responsible for the fact there are record amounts of under 40's suffering from liver disease in the UK.

This is not 1994. The pressures on our teens are totally different from the pressures we had. So, encouraging them to make the same, dumb mistakes just because we did is, quite frankly, a little bit stupid. Not least, because their drunken mistakes may end up staying with them for a lifetime if put in the wrong hands.

MillyMollyMully Sat 12-Apr-14 00:22:32

It's a bit like people who advocate smacking children because they themselves were smacked a lot and it didn't do them any harm.

Clearly it didn't do them any harm.

I agree with TheZeeTeam.

SirChenjin Sat 12-Apr-14 18:12:18

Yes, that's absolutely right - providing my son with 2 small bottles of cider for the occasional party is absolutely the same as advocating smacking.


PortofinoRevisited Sat 12-Apr-14 19:08:59

It is much better to let them have small quantities and talk about it than complete banning and no discussion in mho. I can remember my dad and sm talking about parties in the 60s. Drugs, alcohol, sex etc. Tales went from teen pregancies, people getting their eyebrows shaved off, to someone overdosing on heroin. Some of the stories were funny, some were so not. It made me very careful and gave me confidence to turn stuff down. And I lived through the ecstacy generation without even being tempted. I wish they had extended it to smoking though....

LaurieFairyCake Sat 12-Apr-14 19:13:34

I know that my DC wouldn't do it because I know where they are at all times, they're not allowed in pubs, wandering about aimlessly or to house parties.

Much different than when I was young and I was very poorly parented - allowed out at all times to go to nightclubs and pubs, no curfew, given alcohol.

There are many things I don't do that my parents did.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 12-Apr-14 19:14:44

And I was regularly given money for cigarettes - everyone smoked when I was young, my parents smoked 40 a day each - fags were a pound a packet.

Claybury Sat 12-Apr-14 19:31:38

My DD15 and DS16 will not touch alcohol. ( weirdly ) I have offered them a small drink at home and they will not try it. At family gatherings relations try to get them to drink , like it's a treat, which really annoys me as DD has had on occasions to pretend to like it to be polite - I have said to DD15 that lots of people don't drink these days and it is perfect acceptable to say ' I don't drink ' . Society seems to put pressure on people to drink which is pretty unhelpful.
Before anyone tells me how lucky I am I should DS is much happier smoking weed, and had has tried other drugs, the only consolation being he doesn't mix them with booze.

IHaveAFifthSense Sat 12-Apr-14 19:36:06

It hasn't been all that long since I was 15, and I was drinking at parties then but my mum wasn't buying it for me. She did buy me a bottle of Lambrini (because I'm classy) to drink in the house on my 16th birthday though.

BackforGood Sat 12-Apr-14 19:39:58

Not here.
I have a 17 yr old ds and a 15 yr old dd.
It seemed to start happening once they got into the 6th form, so dd has another 18months before we'd consider it.

chocoluvva Sat 12-Apr-14 20:06:31

DD didn't start taking drink to parties until she was 17. Once aged 15 she took some alcohol-free beer with her to look as if she was drinking. She denied all knowledge that it was hers!

Her BF used his brother's ID to buy drink when he was 16.

The 'cool' thing is to have shots apparently. Some parents provide their DC with beer or cider in the hope that they'll drink it instead of other alcohol.

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