Should my daughter be allowed to go to a music festival

[Rainbow72]

My daughter is 16 years old. She has asked to go to reading festival for the entire weekend. We were initially unsure but did agree we would think about it but in the meantime she would need to revise and work hard at her AS level exams in May. We said we would review the situation then. She has now gone ahead and booked her ticket (albeit with her own money from her Saturday job). We are really disappointed that she has just gone ahead anyway regardless of how we feel about the situation. Please can I have some advice with how to move forward.

[nooka]

I think I'd just reiterate your view, ie tell her that you know that she has bought the tickets, and that your expectation is that she is going to be working hard up to her exams, and that if she doesn't she won't be going. You might need to think what working hard means to you so that she understands the rules (ie are you expecting her to spend a certain amount of time revising each night or is it more how her teachers say she is doing).

[mumeeee]

I agree with nooka. Did she book the tickets because she was worried they might be gone by May?.

[Rainbow72]

I think there was an element of her friends had booked and then also that the tickets could be sold out. However, I think she booked so that we would have to let her go regardless of our worries or concerns. We appreciate that she is growing up but we are just upset that she seems to have been a bit deceitful in her decision that she's going regardless of what we think.

[ravenAK]

How would you go about not letting her go, though? It's not really a practical proposition.

You could have a discussion about spending money being contingent on effort re: exams, though. A weekend festival is much more fun with a decent budget...I'd be making her earn it.

[Nocomet]

Given she's Y12 and therefore closer to 17 than 16, your going to have a hard job stopping her.

It's a bit cheeky, but I have a Y11 (16) who's best friends are Y12s. They are all chomping at the bit for a bit of independence. I half expect them to pull a stunt like this and DFs mum won't know what's hit her.

In the end I think we have to accept they are growing up and we can't control their comings and goings for ever.

[Rainbow72]

Thank you all for the advice, you're quite right in that we can't control her as she is growing up. I guess it's the way she goes about things sometimes that makes me want to stop her from going at all. I think we will say that she can go but on condition she put all her efforts into revising in the meantime. Thank you so much for your advice, it's been a big help :)

[Chloerose75]

The tickets would have been sold out in May. I did this exact same thing as well at her age for a festival, asked my parents and they were a bit vague about the answer so I just booked the ticket. They were a bit annoyed but I did very well in my exams, went to the festival, it was all fine. She is growing up and should be allowed a bit of freedom for things like this. I don't think she has done anything wrong.

[notquiteruralbliss]

As was said above, tickets would be sold out by May. Reading is incredibly popular as a post GCSE festival. At least she isn't planning on going to Glastonbury which, if I remember correctly, clashes with GCSE exams. My year 10 is thinking of going to a festival with some year 11 friends this year though I doubt it will be Reading as they weren't organised enough to book tickets in time.