Syringe and spoon found in 16 year old stepdaughters drawer.(62 Posts)
Yesterday I found a tea spoon and a narrow syringe tucked away in a cosmetic bag in my stepdaughters drawer, when I was tidying the carnage of her bedroom, while she is at her mothers house. I was immediately alarmed and suspect drug use or at least intention of drug use, so I mention it to her Father. He hardly reacts, and then today says there is probably some rational reason for it, and says he will ask her. He doesn't seem at all bothered, and laughs when I mention possible drug use. She has (non) eating issues, anxiety and depression, which lead me to suspect drug use may be a possibility. He sees no reason to be concerned. Today he suggests that she be allowed to "study" at our house while we are away on holiday, next week, which I strongly object to, as I don't feel comfortable letting her have unsupervised access to the house, while we are not there. She says there is too much distraction at her Mothers house caused by her Mum and her brother. I feel she should ask her mum and brother to be quieter, so can study or maybe go to a library! or use earplugs! Her father and I have now had an almighty row because I feel he doesn't listen to me. He says she should be allowed to, and if she messes up, he will deal with it. I'm imagining all sorts going on in my home, while we are away, if she has a key! He doesn't believe she shouldn't be trusted. I feel undermined and as if I'm catastrophising. Am I being unreasonable or over-reacting? I've been a 16 year old girl and I've also had a 16 year old daughter, so I'm basing my reasoning from experience, but I now doubt my own judgement. Help!
It isn't correct to assume that injecting = longer use.
There are plenty of users who go pretty much straight onto injecting. I have worked with enough of them. They might have smoked dope for a while but many of them don't progress from smoking, say Heroin to injecting it. For many it is a matter of economics.
So many assumptions about drug use are incorrect.
If it's in her makeup bag, I suspect she uses it to mix her makeup. Seriously. I use a syringe for that and a small bowl, not a spoon, to crush and mix eyeshadows to create different shades and put them on wet (hence the syringe, for water or makeup remover) which is often better. I also use the syringe and bowl to mix foundations together.
From what youve said about her I think whoever mentioned the dramatic Instagram photo might be the closest! People are right to say if she's injecting then she's been in to drugs for quite a while. It doesn't sound like it's the case.
I don't think you should speak to her about it, rather keep a very close eye. Shame her Dad isn't interested as it shouldn't really fall on you. If worse stuff happens and he still turns a blind eye you may just have to detach
For what it's worth my step daughter and I go in each other's make up bags all the time. She wouldn't bat an eyelid. She also has tea spoons in lots of weird places because she takes them to school for yogurts then secretes them.
Well Im always in my dd's make up bag, she borrows my stuff and I borrow hers. We both annoy each other with it but it all ends up merging into one.
Both me and my dd are disorganised currently in my make up case there is a Rubber, a crayon, paracetomol, glue, iron tablets, the side of my broken sunglasses and a needle (I thought it was tidy )
A oral plunger is a plausible item, I have used it for medication for both my girls and have a couple of them in the bathroom. A clean spoon is also an item that seems to appear in our bathroom from time to time and could easily end up in my make up bag if i was using it while getting ready. Have you thought about asking her?
I wouldn't consider looking in a makeup case snooping tbh.
My dd is messy to the extreme and I have to sort through her stuff to help her organise however she has a few drawers/boxes that I know are out of bounds and won't touch. Her make up bag is not one of these places.
I would have thought if it was for drug use she would have a better hiding place and there would be other signs.
Deranged at looking in a make up bag? My stepdaughters and I were constantly in and out of each others make up bags .
I remember a thread here where the OP hid Australia immigration forms in her bedside drawer to freak out her evil MIL who had form for prying.
Your sdd may have done something similar - you have outed yourself as deranged enough to even go through her makeup bag. Maybe your DH was nonplussed as you have form for drama
Why are you going through her drawer, and her make-up bag in her drawer?
As others have said, oral syringes cannot be attached to needles so useless for injecting drugs.
I saw a YouTube video where a teenage girl showed how to do eyeliner flicks using the side of a teaspoon as a guide, so if I saw a teaspoon in someone's make up bag I would assume that's what it is for.
i think the OP knows that, she just put that thread title to be dramatic and get attention.
like I said, if my stepmother had been going through my stuff at that age, I would be packing my bags.
Agreeing with Mrs DeVere.
An oral syringe is designed so that needles cannot be attached to them as a safety feature (so that oral drugs cannot be accidentally injected).
So it seems clear that this syringe isn't plausible as drugs paraphernalia. What we don't know is what it was actually for. As ppl say, if she is acting out, or maybe trying to start on drugs but clueless, it's a worry. If its just a silly selfie, or a party outfit, not so much.
Then again some people use a spoon to curl their eyelashes.
DD(16) used to take calpol when she had a headache or period pain, as she didn't like swallowing pills, and would either use a teaspoon or syringe type thing that comes with nurofen. could that be an explanation?
It was v annoying as usually meant there wasn't enough for DS when he needed it, and also probably wasn't that effective for her. she has now overcome that, and takes normal pills, but teenagers. can be funny about things like that.
The fact that this syringe is actually a dropper that you bought to feed a bird completely changed the tone of this question and I'm not sure why you didn't state that in your original post if not to be dramatic? Highly unlikely to have anything to do with drugs given the update. I think you shouldn't snoop in future.
As shes 16 I have heard recently about buying and injecting or eating of tanning substances. possible long shot
Needles are very easy to come by. Most chemists offer free supplies and will hand them to anybody who asks for them sixteen and over, no questions. That is the whole point of a needle exchange. They have prominent signs too and teenagers would be aware of them.
There are plenty of users who do go straight onto injecting.
There are plenty of users who don't get abscesses for quite some time. If ever. Clean needles have eliminated some of this risk. Info on how to inject is easily available and it is not hard to learn. Pretty easy in fact.
Most early users don't need to spend much and it doesn't cost a lot. A small amount of a drug will last.
Not all initial and early drug use is accompanied by dramatic behavioural changes. Many of the most 'usual' behavioural changes can masquerade normal adolescence or mimic it. That is why so many cases go undiscovered for quite some time and then their is a physiological dependence alongside the psychological one.
An 8ml syringe is too large for a beginner. They are very very hard to depress the plunger upon whilst maintaining steady hold on a vein- they can collapse it because the suction is too great when you pull back on a plunger to check it is in the vein. One handed it'd be very hard. Also when a barrel gets older, the rubber bung on the depressor becomes stiffer and makes it even harder to depress and pull back on. So highly unlikely she'd use this as a newbie to it. I hope that reassures.
Just back to the possibility of vaping - wouldn't discount it if you are aware she has bought tobacco and papers in the past. Like others have said if it is hard drugs she would display other behaviours and would need the cash to purchase them. Smoking or vaping as a much cheaper option does seem more likely.
Just asked DS and his friend tells me he uses a syringe and spoon to fill his cartomiser, as without a needle to fill it he drops some of the liquid into the spoon, picks it up with the syringe and then puts it in the ecig. He says it is a common way of filling some types of ecig and not sinister (DSs friend is a police officer!!) Just google filling ecigs with syringes and there are lots of videos and instructions.
Quite agree with you that this needs to be addressed, but please don't jump to the worst case scenario if there is no evidence, she will feel strongly that she has a right to her privacy and you could destroy her trust in you. Sure you don't want her smoking or vaping either, but it's a lower key conversation. Can't say I'm happy about DS vaping in my house, but he is legally old enough to buy cigarettes and smoke and the vaping is much more preferable than the roll ups he smoked before.
i must say if my stepmother had been going through my stuff at the age of 16 i would have been pretty pissed off, alienated even.
not the way to any kind of trusting relationship tbh
You tidy up the inside of her make up bag?
It's not even a syringe that's usable for drugs why are you making such a big deal out of it when her father doesn't think it it's an issue?
I'm a leetle surprised by this.
Injecting drugs is a big step. Long before injecting, you should have seen many warning signs of drug use: erratic behaviour; a change in the circle of friends; a change in socialising; things like money going missing - unless she has access to a trust fund, right now, she is unlikely to be able to afford regular access to hard drugs.
People don't just wake up and decide to buy some cocaine/smack/very pure amphetamine on their way to Tesco, and then inject it. You need a circle to buy it from, use it with, and teach you how to inject safely.
You would see abcesses from bad shots. And they would be pretty visible , because, apart from anything esle, it takes practice to inject neatly.
Basically, you would have had cause for concern for a while now. If this is the first time you have noticed something amiss ...
Also, where is she getting the needles from? They are not easy to come by.
So, if all of the above has been going on - the erratic behaviour; the troubling friends; the theft; the noticeable decline in school attendance and attitude; the changed social life - then, yes, your dh sounds a complete fuck-up.
Well there is that I suppose, Herrena, and that is what she will say, but while she lives in my home I am responsible for her welfare. I wasn't looking for anything in her room. I do her washing and I tidy up after her. I posted my concerns on here for constructive advice. I don't think I am being ridiculous to be worried about an impressionable teenager getting mixed up in something harmful, but thank you for your comment.
you know wrt snooping i have done a HUGE volte face on this.
parents SHOULD snoop
from what youve since added, it doesmt sound at all suspicious, and youre overreacting
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.